Try as I might
Though not very hard
I can’t not see the signs
Directing my heart

And call me young
Call me naïve
I can’t help but hold on,
Can’t help but believe

Some say it’s a lie
That The One is just a myth
Then what explains
This feeling I live with?

I can’t help but know
What nobody knows
That wherever I go
I’m only this close

Don’t talk sense into me
She’s out there, she’s real
I know what life can be
I know what I can feel

It’s like something’s inaudibly whispering
Words floating by on silent wings
Hints that I’m somehow drawing nearer
My worldly lens grows minutely clearer
More in tune with things perhaps
Seeing before seeing
Feeling before touching
Yet still grasping nothing
But Hope
Hope holds on in spite
Reading between the lines
Of a taciturn soliloquized life
Night after lonely night
The romance of unturned thoughts
Silently spiraling
Into the silhouette of a design I can barely see
A puzzle I’m missing all the pieces too
Yet if I shut my eyes
Perhaps I can make out its imprint
Etched into me
Been and always
Wandering aimlessly by design
Following the nonexistent trail
Imperceptible and clearly marked
Faith begetting sanity
I’d swear on
What others would call a reverie
A fantasy
The pining of one
Is my knowledge.
Sitting here, watching the starless skies
The romance of thoughts imprinted
Silently spiraling into a silhouette
Taking form

Running blind
That’s what they call it
How sad is it
I can even fall without falling
Calling your name
But I don’t even have that
Merely an echo in my head
A vague impression
Thoughts and dreams

Who are you
I find myself asking
I can almost touch you
But I don’t even know your name
I’ve felt your presence for a while now
I confess
I know you’ve been close all along
My soul mate
Yet I remain in ignorance
Running blind, as they say
And still running

What the hell am I doing with my life?
Kind of just letting it happen for now
Drifting through without a defined purpose
As though fate will somehow carry me towards
The blissful future my shaded eyes see
Only shaded eyes, like seeing specters
I guess divine comfort is only that

Still I method act out the optimist
Some parts of yourself cannot be escaped
I can’t help but feel her breath on my neck
And whispering sensations on my skin
Thinking soon I will play nomad no more

Seeing the ***** thoughts she undresses
Through parting lips and silent caresses

What's the point of waking
Only to be lost in the monotony of masses
Extraordinary is a myth, days blur
And time only passes

Trudge through the doldrums again
Unseen through shaded glasses
No one sees uniquities
And time only passes

And what of the broken wishes?
Teardrops roll down eyelashes
There's no escape fighting fate
And time only passes

I can look myself in the mirror
Without recrimination
Knowing the events that have shaped my life
These past few months
Haven't changed me all that much
That you can place your hands
And still feel the vibrations
That what was lost was merely let go
And what wasn't there, wasn't lost
That I haven't succumbed
To the cynicism and bitterness
So easily wallowed in
But the incomprehensible cannot be stopped
It is still there

I've lent a hand
In times of need
Shouldering their pain
Shouldering their tears
Bearing the brunt of depression
Second listing my own childish fears
Giving, not grieving
Til I swore my heart had wings
Guardian of those I could shelter with them
An angel in no such terms
But an Angel nonetheless
Seeing the needing through
The all too near reaper
Claiming those we held dear
Sometimes hiding, and others
Keeping him from claiming another
Cuts and blood and quietness
Withered and weathered
I've seen them, felt them
Held them, beat them
Reaching out, trying to give solace
And I've come out ahead
Many claimed, but the two remained
And now I remain
Changed, but the same
Smiling that I've seen those I cherish
Or cherished
Through their trials
I want to be a savior
Though never called one
And I find myself
Completing another cycle
Seemingly no closer
No more learned
Forcing me to wonder
To ask
To ***** for the comforting embrace
Of white wings
Who Saves Me?