The blue birds sing
There sweet songs
The notes drift with the wind
But the darkness comes and the music stops
What happened?

The songs we sang sounded so sweet
But now they are forgotten
Yesterday the music filled the air
Now there is nothing.

Death doesn’t scare me.
Neither does the process
of dying.

What terrifies me,
more than anything else,
is the thought
Of not being alive.

paint pictures
on walls
built up
around my mind.
I breathe in
the pollution.
burning
inside my brain.
don't think
negative thoughts.
I pray for it
to be taken away.
It fills me.
you turn
against me.
I am sorrow.
stomach in knots
mind floating
once more.
please stop this ride
I want to get off.

Half stitched heart rips at the seams
begging to be sewed once more
Preachers, like thieves, run rampant
and lie dormant.
The infection burrows deeper
its making me sick
slowly writhing, twisting and
turning the dull blade, severing
the stitches with every turn.
Defiant love ***** away my soul
only to replace it with torment
and pain.
Its the only thing I know.
Kind words and a smile is fake
I can see the pity.

-Oh no
  She saunters by
The air stiffens and falls, mountains bow,
               All kowtow, or at least they should
                 -We’re not worthy
      She looks over her dominion
                                          She rules all that she sees
            None standup to contest
                   She has me too, I confess
                                             -I like it
                     She looks through me
Another face
Another peon
Another nothing
                                                                               -HEY!


-…Place your hopes here my lad
-No, I am better than this. She will see ******
LOOK AT ME
           Not another tidbit for the
Proverbial chopping block
     Her neck turns; time stops
  Clocks tick without their tock
        -We get so lonely
        Or is it for her? She tops me
Swivels slowly, no stop
A slow-mo accident waiting to be replayed
        -Oh God please
        -Oh God no
She cuts the room in two, parallel lasers
     Heads
                   roll
                            and
                                    smile,
                           they
             cheer
       for
me
-You got this Tiger
-Steady man, steady
     She sees my eyes with hers
Dull brown against the firing squad
                      -Ready boys! Aim
Her lips part, chest slightly rises loading the bullet
      She locks on her target and she never misses
          A bead of sweat rolls on past
              It asks
-What have you done
     They look to her
-Take the shot!
And she does with a smile
                                                  -*Hey

THERE are places I go when I am strong.
One is a marsh pool where I used to go
            with a long-ear hound-dog.
One is a wild crabapple tree; I was there
      a moonlight night with a girl.
The dog is gone; the girl is gone; I go to these
      places when there is no other place to go.

We live,
We die,
And between we merely survive.