Morning

the alarm goes off
I wake up
I turn it off
I go back to sleep
My mom or dad comes in
they wake me back up
I lie in bed
for 10 more minutes
then I get up
I go to the bathroom
and stare at myself in the mirror
I sigh...
I pretend to wash my face
I go back to my room
I stare at my closet
and decide what I'm going to wear
I get dressed
I go down stairs
I eat one of the following items:
oat meal
   -Chocolate chip
   -Maple brown sugar
   -apple cinnamon
Whole wheat bagel with almond butter, peanut butter, cinnamon, and/or jam
cereal if there are any good options
   -Peanut butter bumpers
   -GOOD granola
   -organic chocolate *****
with coconut milk
toast with the same things as bagels
I say good morning to parents
I argue with my sister
I drink my orange juice
eat my vitamins
bring my stuff up to the sink
go up stairs
I lie on my bed
I go into the bathroom
I brush my teeth
I go downstairs
I pack my backpack
I pick out some shoes
I yawn
I go to school

School
I go to advisory
We play cake(a game)
First class
I space out
I draw pictures
unless that class is of the following:
PE
Writing lab (if it's not about grammer or spelling)
Art
Music(Because all the string instruments make it impossible)
I go to math
I get too confused to know what the hell is going on
I go to writing lab
we write and then teacher goes into some speech about commas
I go to french
I have no idea what the teachers talking about
I go to PE
If we aren't playing soccer, basketball, dodgeball, batmitten, capture the flag, or volleyball than I ****

Lunch
Yay!
I eat
I talk
I chill

More classes
Art
I tell my teacher how much I love her outfit
I read the board
and I make art

Music
UGHHHH
THE TEACHER IS SUCH A GRUMP!!!
I listen to her yell at people
I play my instrument

Study

Almost done with school
I finish a bit of homework

Going home (Or going nordic skiing)

I get a snack
I do homework
I have dinner with the family
I do more homework
I get ready for bed
I read
I go to bed

Every day is the same
the weekend is just a bunch of chores
hanging with friends some times
and stay up late watching my favorite shows:
Bones
Glee
CSI NY
CONAN
SNL

Ugh I need a change.

Love
I hear it is so great
I hear it is the best thing in the world
I hear that it is a blessing
A saint…
Why can’t I find it?
I see love everywhere I look
I see it all around
If it is so abundant
Why can’t I find it?
I feel the desire to meet him
I dream about him all the time
I dream that he is mine
Why can’t I find him?

dust is what is left of my thoughts
my eyes to dry for tears
Although the battle is over
the war has just begun

every last step
into the aching wind
whispering it's sad memories
into my deafening ears
it's too lonely for healing to begin

the blood that poured
is now stained
into our souls
one more step farther
away
from
the cold

But yet the ice freezes us
from inside to out
alas we may never know
the nice feeling of warmth again

Oh how I am tired
of this strenuous fight
I wish to flee
or more accurately see
to those who were damaged
oh so ever more
to help them through their pain
while also healing mine

the stars point me
to another world so bright

So goodbye enemies
I leave this fight
to start the healing
of hope
so goodbye
to
all
who fought so hard
to achieve
what we were fighting against

I hope to
warm
smother
and hug
the hurt and empty ones
and help them into
a better night.
tomorrow to bring haste and light
and change what we have ignored

Although I am guilty of saying before
the words of "inspiration"
the words that between the lines really mean
we aren't good enough

But now that I have thought about it I have learned
that I am human
I have feelings
I cry
I yell
I get mad
I get stressed
I am human
and so I should not expect myself to
think I should be perfect

Not cry
not whine
not break down and feel as if the world is crumbling piece by piece
that is not what I live for
and although life could be worse
how am I suppose to know how
because I am a teenage girl
and I have emotional issues like most
and I do cry out sometimes
that doesn't mean I don't regret it
but I am human
and that is what humans do

stuck in your throat
aching in the head
caught in your stomach
heavy in your heart

People have always said that
a good cry always makes you feel
better
but to me its a painful process
before you get to the healing

first when the tears are just slowing down
you still feel that pain in your throat
it feels like a spiky metal ball
has just been shoved down your throat
then you get a headache
and you feel as if you are going to
pass out
thats when you lay down
on your bed
and
cry
some
more

Unfortunately that is not the end
for then your eyes turn red
and your face is wet
and shimmers in the light

it ***** the most
when you have to go into public
with snot hanging out of your nose
and the essence of crying around you

But really truly
when the pain goes away
isn't after someone gives you a hug
a hug can heal most of everything
even the worst cries of all
and when you are surrounded by the warmth of
a forgiving hug
that is the medicine
of the after feeling
of crying

Although some
may not believe
a girl my age
can write my mind
can see a world
that some can't find
but now please see
let me remind
that all are free
to be behind
the words they write
the song they sing
the images they think
it will always be the same
no one can tell you
what you can and can't do
so please believe
when I say
I have
my own
imagination

Slowly
walking, thinking, being
Slowly
Learning, Understanding, Teaching
Slowly
Feeling, hurting, relieving
Slowly
step by step
day by day
breath by breath