I'm going to the city on Friday
while I wish still that I could be holding your hand.
I realized a while ago that most of my poems
are directly addressed to you.
Take that as an honor, take a bow.
Take my hand and shout
you didn't want me every second of every day,
just when the weather was warm in the morning.
I want to tell you I'm done
falling against my dresser drawers
getting scratches on my back from anything
(except future lovers.)
I want to let you know I'm through
with scrolling down my contacts, clicking you
and giving up hope before it even rings once.
I want to inform you that I'm tired
of sleeping alone mentally with his arm around me physically
and the confusion that fills for when my heart quivers a bit when he-
let me stop there. I want to make sure you know,
I'm lying. That when
he looks into my eyes I feel nothing
but guilt.
That could very well be because I can't see clearly
through the tears blurring my vision,
when I try too hard to let go it leaves me scrambling
to my feet to catch my breath but it seems to have never lost me.
I'd still like to garden with you, wander New York City
you looking handsome and me looking pretty.
I'd still love you to be in my bed ev-er-y night
your breath on my neck
my eyes towards the ceiling tiles,
and they'll smile
because they already know your name.

Kept emptying my person,
into your purse.
You're a beautiful girl,
but this is a curse.

Her ability to relate to me,
Seems to of deflated me,
Incapably try escaping but she
Smiles
So I stay.

Now thinking **** like,
This is love; it's the price you pay.

Whoa. Woke up to another dark day.
She's screaming because she didnt get her way.
Driven herself to near-insanity,
With other peoples petty vanity.
Stop her to say;

'Listen lover, this is over.
I can no longer water soils that won't flower.
By that I mean for us to live, we both must give.
And though this is the end, you are still my friend.'

Our world has near 7 billion hearts beating,
Do not fear repeating life's mistakes,
For these stakes are high.
No one gets out alive.

Accept to understand, break to rebuild, succumb to over come.
Begin to become, learn so you're not dumb.
Love everyone so you hate none.
Carry on, for this is the only one.

Let me meet your inner man
The cave man whose desire
Is to conquer, capture and plunder
The one who takes what he wants
and makes his own.

Don't rough me up
Just carry me to your den
Place me on your floor
and light a fire
In that special way you know how
Make me steak
Meet my basic needs.

You don't have to talk
just listen and understand.
Wipe my tears and pledge
your protection and love.
We won't have to argue
You want to please your maiden.

The caveman is the gentlest of spirits
For he is pure and without guile
He lives to dominate
But also to pleasure
with the simplest of needs
All he needs is a maiden to please.

Today I will wake up
Make coffee
Get dressed
As always

I'll walk to the bus stop
Sit on a seat where plastic meets rubber and cold calls it home
Take a sip of coffee to warm my throat
As always

Walk into school
See the same friends
Eat the same breakfast
As always

Go to classes and get the same reminders of owed work
Eat the same low standard meal shoved into my mouth like cows being fed
I'll go home
As always

Argue with my sister
Sit on my bed
And sleep
As always

But this time I'll wake up
Slightly earlier than my nap usually lasts for
An unfamiliar buzz in the air
Coming from my phone
Your name across the screen
Telling me that you'd like to be
My always

We fell, for what was thought to be Love.

We held, on to what was thought to be Hope.

The Days went into Months and the Months went into Years.

We even lost count of those pages in the book of Promises we dogeared.



Those summerdays we spent traipsing in the sun

and the starless nights spent watching life slowing down in motion.

All these time we shared and get involved in each other's emotions,

The Youth we spent consumed wondering about our actions and reactions.



The carefree times lovers should have were filled with paranoia,

Even Freedom was robbed by another person's act of denial!

Disappointment and Hurt, tears and Sadness;

the desperate pleadings of the Heart were taken and thrown into the wilderness.



The bank of tears has dried up, the Heart has gone weak.

The Mind stopped working and the Body has lost its Spirit.

Finally, it is time to say goodbye.

So goodbye, goodbye. I end this with a sigh

Love of my life,
I never wanted
To be
Your wife.
Or any man's for that matter.
All the stress and the
Strife
Hangs heavy
In the air.
You could
Cut it
With a knife, perhaps.
I stand
Naked
With sinful scars to bear.
Though you hastily forgave.
Leaving parts of me untamed
Ashamed.
Grabbing a man's
Attention
Never was a problem,
But the fact that it wasn't was.
Loving you blind because
I'm blind
Without your love
Leaving
Me
Longing for a white picket fence.

I’ve overslept
I’ve smoked too much
My house is unkept
And my body's wrecked
My heart's a mess
And my head is worse
The doctor said
I over think
So I sought a cure
In the form of drink
That didn’t help, so
I turned to men
They let me down
All of them
My daily pills
For various ills
Don’t work so well
I’m starting to believe
That life is hell