Phone rings, only breathing
Landlord yelling, dog barking,
Mexican music, nosey neighbors
Long cigarette and goodbye girl
She’s absent and she’s catatonic
She’s boiling in unwanted fever
She hums as she irons unplugged
She hums as she cleans up the blood
She’s levitating against her will
She’s nailing the door shut with a candle
She’s rolling him up in a carpet
Yeah, your high horse and your sports
Are just heavy metaphors
For something a lot sweatier
****** Made Her Menstrual
You supplied the weapons

I find your room the way it has always smelled
The smell of crushed petals, young love, lust
The sound of your breath is love letter soft
No softer silence has been broken than that in between
Your each and every breath
If I could see into your dreams
Full of lakes glowing in sunset and the smell of pine drifting
You are in your forest
Walking for the sake of wonder
Learning the sound of the world
Dreams
I stand here over your sleeping form
My heart beats so quickly
The weight of it all
Resting in my chest
White soft sheets and the smell of lavender
I know you sat awake reading
Les Fleurs du mal
I know you sat awake reading
As you told yourself
That I would be there soon
But sleep took you in that sudden moment
I know you told yourself
You would close your eyes just for a moment
And I would be there soon

Yet you sleep so soundly in the dark
As you wait for me in shaded dreams

Here I kiss your sleeping lips
Begging for a moment of your warmth
Wishing just for a moment of your warmth

In my night
I was broken
I am lost, I am torn
and I'm waiting for a reason
Or some meaning

Your so far in my distance
This road far too long
But your words fall so heavy on my heart now

We use drugs
We drink pain
By the bottle
Down the drain
Just trying to forget
Where we came from

All  the lies
And the cheating
We knew love
Took our beatings
From the people that we thought we deserved

But were moving through the dark now
Catching sight of the moon
Through tree tops and leaves falling slowly

Your so far in the distance
I am trying to remember your every feature
How your eyes caught that moonlight your skin was red
From the day and you were curled up in someone else's arms
And I know that I'm dreaming, this world is far too big
So I'm trying to forget all these feelings
But its there
Somewhere hidden
In my dreams
in my heart
The sound of your voice on the receiver
The look in your eyes
Long nights knowing that you are a million miles away now

I'm starting to dream in color
swimming in Silvia red night gowns
and dancing into silhouettes of purple and crimson.
psychedelic actually,
if you take the time to think within that perspective.
it's like a toned-down rave set in slow motion by overdose.
and where are you?
are you passed out on the lawn in front of some closed down swapmeet?
did the flicker of insomnia turn you off like a light switch you hadn't paid the bill for?
who now, will answer your phone or pay homage to your quips
or late night phone calls to God?
I wish I could say that I relayed the message
but my nerves never were enough.
I wonder if the angels ever picked up on the twisted games you played on their names.
Many people never bothered to decipher it all.
But on occasion I did.
When the time was convenient,
when the moments were dull.
I delved into it.
I tried anyhow.
Forgive me for never letting you pass.
For standing arms and legs wide apart to halt the inevitable.
I wish for so many seconds
that I was there to do something,
to show something,
some inkling of understanding through sarcastic grimaces.
To you, who will read this and play dead for flair,
may you call upon me from the imaginary casket when you get this.
Fore I do see that you could never leave like that.