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Aug 2021 · 155
The ending that never comes
Aleska Servian Aug 2021
I wonder if he is still there
his daughter asks the skies every night
What does it feel like to be a soul leaving its shell behind?
I wonder if he still has fears
I wonder if he still believes in the divine
Is it a tragedy or a blessing,
to leave this world without any memories or worries in mind?
Having a grandfather who suffers from dementia.
Aug 2021 · 122
December 2019
Aleska Servian Aug 2021
I was the queen of storms
The one that used to play with fire
And thought that by showing them my strength they would stay
and we would live in a romantic comedy written by Woody Allen

I think he can see the scars in my heart
But for the first time, they are not being used for a man's own advantage
My mind is peacefully floating in a clear blue ocean
and I'm not covering my soul with any bandages

And I wonder
where are those nights of staying awake
writing about someone else's mistakes
like they were my own
And I feel like I am waiting
for the thunder that lights up the sky
and the fear, and the lies
But I have this feeling they will never come this time

My body feels lighter and my expectations are running free
"Hey kid, that's how it is supposed to be"
And here life is tough, but he is always there for me
"Hey kid, that's how it is supposed to be"
I have built worlds and watched them burn
and they would always flee
But now I find comfort in his light blue eyes
and that is how it is supposed to be

I was sitting and waiting patiently
while they were melting my heart of gold
And it took me 24 cold springs to realize
that like hurricanes, love cannot be controlled

I think he wonders what is going on inside my mind
when I am lost in my thoughts like they were a black hole
But the past ceased to be my favorite place for visiting
and those visions of the future do not scare me anymore

And I genuinely smiled
on that first time you sang like Louis Armstrong
and whenever you tell me about how life has made you strong
with that shy passion in your eyes
And the beauty of it all
is that I finally get to fall
for someone I never had to beg to be mine
Aug 2021 · 113
Blue Eyes
Aleska Servian Aug 2021
I wake up every morning and watch you sleep
wondering if I'm dreaming
or living my best reality
I hope that sometimes you also catch yourself
thinking about the things that destroyed us
to make us the best versions of ourselves

So that we could be here now
making plans about a future we haven't figured out
not being scared of sharing our dreams out loud
for the first time

There's a fire in your eyes
that makes me want to lose control
There's a kindness in your soul
that makes me forget about the emptiness of this world

I teach you Portuguese and Spanish
and you teach me about life
that despite my ambitious soul
things are not always going to be black and white
You cook me Michelin star worthy dinners
and we have them with cheap wines
And this is now the luxury I die for
the love and happiness no fortune could ever buy

We share the same love for dinosaurs, blues rock and design
You are trying to figure out your place in the world
and I have this certainty about mine from the start
But one thing I have never been more sure about before
is that I will always be by your side
Sharing a bed
sharing a dream
and one day sharing a life
Finding a healthy love for the first time
Jun 2019 · 171
Sunday Afternoon
Aleska Servian Jun 2019
Make me feel something
Make me feel something new
I’ve been wondering if you ever knew
That you made me feel something
That still lingers around like a spell I can’t undo

The city lights that now blind me
were the same ones that lighted up my soul
And I write under a starless night
Somehow you managed to take them all with you to the Coast
Doesn’t it bother you
That we are now playing different roles?

Make me feel something like that Sunday afternoon
Make me feel something like in that full moon

I’ve been waiting forever
For something I thought was coming soon
I swear I can still hear your laughter
Echoing through this cold last week of June
Am I close to glory?
Or am I even more doomed?

The sunset paints that picture
Of a poetic solitude
Strangers mind their own business
And I go on forgetting about the magnitude
Of I what felt when you touched me
That Sunday afternoon

Make me feel something
Make me feel something new
After these past few months
You might have had a clue
That you made me feel something
That I won’t be feeling anytime soon
Mar 2019 · 191
Wild Wolf
Aleska Servian Mar 2019
You are a wild wolf
lonely and independent but asking to be tamed
I've got a heart made of candle wax
that starts to melt down with the tiniest flame
And you live your life like a winner
fire in your eyes despite all the wars you've lost
When your claws started to go even deeper
I felt that someday I'd have to pay the cost

You are a wild wolf
eating me alive, day by day
And I seek the good in people
If I can find it in you I know I will stay
But my mother says I'm getting weaker
and my father warned me about the creatures of the night
What if your only predator
Had the power to make you apologize and cry?

You are a wild wolf
and my body is covered by a thousand scars
Maybe losing myself
Is the only way I can get to your heart

Somewhere we're running, hunting side by side
and i'm complete enough to fill your voids
Somewhere I don't have to make a choice
that being with you means losing my own voice
Together conquering the world
you could never share with anyone

I was brave enough to love you
you were coward enough to break every bone inside me
Your dad left you when you were only a child
maybe thats the reason you act like this
But who am I to save you?
when I try to touch you I fall on my own knees
And who are they to judge you?
If you consider yourself above any kind of mercy

You are a wild wolf
dozens of winters have broken your soul
And i pray that someday you find a pack
cause my heart is no longer a safe place to go
Walking away from an abusive relationship.
Mar 2019 · 3.0k
I Wish I Could Have Met You
Aleska Servian Mar 2019
I wish I could have met you a few years back
when I used to wear that feather in my hat
and break the strings in my guitar
I wish I could have met you when I was figuring out life
and we would have all the time
for me to teach you a few things about art
I wish I was still that wild child
that would only stay for a while
without ever saying goodbye
And then we would be a perfect match
driving towards the sunset
without having any future in mind

But now I’m going to the edge of the world to chase my dreams
and you’re playing videogames and watching french films
It’s funny how the universe brought us together that night
just to later tear us apart

I wish I could have met you a few years from now
God knows where I’d be settling down
But I’d have your brown eyes by my side
I wish I could have met you in a pretentious bar
You’d tell me all the things you know about the stars
And we’d probably regret those three bottles of wine
I wish we could have our dream jobs
And our hearts would have no locks
Having sure about things we never knew we could even try
And then we would be the perfect match
A blonde and a brunette
Challenging each other every day and night
A dream kind of life
Jul 2016 · 545
March
Aleska Servian Jul 2016
Grandma used to tell me stories about men like you in the early 60's
but I was born an old soul
and I thought I was invincible to this world
until you came pretending you could feel my own feelings

A friend told me that I shouldn't show off my happiness like a pair of new earrings
I told her I wasn't afraid
he was never going to run away
and there we were, fixing the holes in the ceiling

The sun was brighter and the moon was darker
the future used to caress my red hair
do I know this is only an affair?
Maybe I should save him
maybe it'll be fair

In a cold night of march I swear I could see his eyes reading what I was thinking
when he said he had to go away
I knew he had to find a new prey
bacause my heart was already too damaged to be deceived

If I'm not enough for his adventurous life
there is a reality which I can't fight
Though you are my missing piece
It's better to live with half of me
Jul 2016 · 596
Winter Bird
Aleska Servian Jul 2016
I fixed your ego
I repaired your wings
but darling
the saddest thing
Is that you never intended to stay
So I cut the rope that kept me from
feeling the warmth in the light of day
From my mind you can now fly away
Jul 2016 · 289
Thief
Aleska Servian Jul 2016
It's not his fault
and neither is mine
If you can not let the fear get inside
your bruised thoughts
to teach you that
love does not always treat you like that

I gave you peace
I gave you war
I never asked for nothing but not be harmed
by your promisses
that cut just like a blade
my troubled mind
filled with mistaken mistakes

We exorcized our demons on an unsacred bed
It was all about time
what a beautiful night we had
you were not supposed to take home pieces of me
that put together
show that I'm a confused symphony

And now that you're gone
I'm still thinking about
did I do something wrong?
and what those midnight talks were about
Jul 2016 · 454
LOVE (chapter one)
Aleska Servian Jul 2016
I was already wearing an armor
cause I thought that was the only way you would not be able to see my scars
but disappointment stinks like a pride that died too soon and was never consecrated
now it's gone, forever

I put on a mask
"Who would you like me to be?
You said you liked ghosts, so I became a ghost
wandering through the halls of my own desires
I shouldn't intend to stay, you were not going to stay
but you were listening to my bitter words
licking them like they were the sweetest nectar

Mirror, mirror
do you intend to mirror me just for fun?
do you really wanna know what I've become?
can I handle the hole you're gonna leave when you're gone?
Once, twice
you said it was the last time
I believe you, I still do
Mar 2016 · 410
Sparks
Aleska Servian Mar 2016
Hey, little girl
never stop your world
for someone that doesn't know
how to carry your soul

Hey, little girl
don't believe in those words
they will caress your cheeks, I'm sure
but never your bones

And it will get tough, I know
I wish I was there, so I could show
that even in the darkness your heart will glow
like a thousand sparks

Hey, little girl
yes, it is too soon
to believe you can conquer the moon
without knowing every inch of our earth

Hey, little girl
yes, you can be alone
sometimes is better to be just one
in a land of selfish hearts

And it will get easier, I promisse you that
just hug your mom and listen to your dad
and never think he will be the last
that will try to steal your sparks
Mar 2016 · 536
I Used To Love
Aleska Servian Mar 2016
I used to love your curly hair
and i used to think our children would inherit it from you
but about the musical taste
they'd share the same passionate love that I have for the blues
Your visions about the world
I have to admit, they kinda scared me too
I couldn't let go of certain mundane habits
I couldn't even bend your point of view

It felt alright for a moment
when your head was resting on my lap
but I think you just couldn't handle
the weight of carrying my dreams on your back

It's ok if you were never ready
to share with someone a piece of your soul
It's ok, I am still not ready
to let you inside without losing control

I used to love hearing your stories
about your misadventures and about the world
they have always taught me something
even though you used to think I was always in another world
I used to love your cooking and the way you used to cook
like an artist without the troubled mind
And specially, I used to love that way you looked
at me like I was something divine

It felt alright for a moment
when you were holding my heart with your both hands
but I am letting you go
wishing that it never had to come to an end
Dec 2015 · 333
Future
Aleska Servian Dec 2015
For all the nights that I couldn't give my thoughts a break
and all the times that I thought my sanity was on stake
nightmares that were the answers to my questions
If you said you cared about me, why do I needed a confession?

But I kept my mouth shut
because I thought your heart would open up
to someone that didn't dare to hold you back
I was wrong to think that
Suddenly I became someone
with empty dreams and half of a heart that used to believe
I was good enough
and that love never needed to be tough

I accepted what I thought I deserved
when I was scared from myself
and I gave you more than you deserved
to save me from my own personal hell
All of the warning signs
they never rang a bell
when you think you're stuck in a nightmare
you don't find the strength to yell

Well, if you think we met in the wrong time
I hope my future haunts you
and if you ever wonder how life with me would be like
I hope my future haunts you

For all the absence that I took as part of your personality
now it's hard to admit you never really cared about me
and all the happiness that I went through alone
my eyes have never been as interesting as your phone

But I kept my mouth shut
because I thought your heart would open up
to someone that didn't dare to hold you back
I was wrong to think that
Suddenly i became someone
with empty dreams and half of a heart that used to believe
I was good enough
and that love never needed to be tough

I accepted what I thought I deserved
when I was scared from myself
and I gave you more than you deserved
to save me from my own personal hell
All of the warning signs
they never rang a bell
when you think you're stuck in a nightmare
you don't find the strength to yell

Well, if you think we met in the wrong time
I hope my future haunts you
and if you ever wonder how life with me would be like
I hope my future haunts you
Goodbye
Sep 2015 · 496
Oblivion Prince
Aleska Servian Sep 2015
Oblivion prince, you never seem to wince
when you find a new broken heart to convince
that it won't hurt like the last time
I never asked you to be mine
Trust blooming just like spring
a house of cards, a newborn king
sometimes instincts can be deceived
warn me the next time you decide to leave

You can't try to fill new lives
without the karma of the ones you left behind
Ghosts won't help you to build a fence
to protect an oblivion prince

You will always watch the same sunrise
seek out the thrill in the color of their eyes
Those tears certainly don't belong to you
there were a hundred lies I wish I knew

Be a comet that beautifies her life
not a petal that cuts like a knife
because if you'll probably leave a stain
don't let it be full of pain
Liquid love, nowadays.
Sep 2015 · 728
Deep Blue Sea
Aleska Servian Sep 2015
I drew a map on your back
mapping all the stars in the galaxy
places that I'd never want to come back
and one of them was the Reality
But september came and took my heart
away from all that misery
His optimism, a fresh start
stop me if I ever beg for sympathy

And you sailed through this deep blue sea
like it was the lake in the backyard of your first house
There are so many unknown storms inside of me
But you trust in my tides with no doubts
As you sailed through this deep blue sea
you understood why so many had to die
so you could make your way towards me
without having to rehearse a goodbye

There were lines that I had never crossed
now i'm holding your hand, hanging off a cliff
I fear the certainty, I fear the loss
but I'll learn to live without wondering "what if?"
Trophies are not made to be broken
I was never made to be one
I heard words from your mouth that no one has never spoken
"It's ok baby blue, I will never run"
Jul 2015 · 580
Empty Town
Aleska Servian Jul 2015
I'm leaving this empty town behind
at first they let me in
but now i'm locked outside
that's why i'm leaving this empty town behind

I'm leaving this empty town behind
I should've never tried to conquer those walls
because when your head is up in the clouds
the hardest part is the fall
now my sanity so loudly calls

I'd rather wear a crown of thorns
than watch you burn down my throne
because that's the only thing untouched
since your touch has turned me into dust
so i'm leaving this empty town behind

I'm leaving this empty town behind
now that all the stars have died
there is nothing left of that magical sight
i never came here to start a fight

I'd rather wear a crown of thorns
than watch you burn down my throne
because that's the only thing untouched
since your touch has turned me into dust
so i'm leaving this empty town behind

You closed the heaven's gate
I should retaliate
A single spark has always warmed my heart
when i thought someone was sabotaging my fate
They left the rivers run dry
and all the ravens will fly
away from all that pain
I'm leaving this empty town behind
Jul 2015 · 882
Suicidal Soul
Aleska Servian Jul 2015
She's always worried about his pile of dead hearts
warm soul, cold touch
bright friday nights, mysterious moonlights
maybe some words have been misjudged
He saw in her someone to carry his faith
for a small period of time, someone who could climb
his walls until it was too late to look down

There is a fire inside his mind
that burns her heart and makes her blind
Suicidal soul, reigns without control
under her apparently thick skin
There is a shred of confidence on the sheets
a world of possibilities on his lips
Suicidal soul, black hole
swallowing the reddest of the sins

He always kept somethings hidden in the attic
banned feelings, unknown reasons
she stayed and she played
until she found out with what she was dealing
but amidst the quiet catastrophe, there was always a way out
We never see the worst in those we love the most
Memories will cut like a knife
what a long and troubled life

Suicidal soul, let me choose
something that can't be refused
by the universe, i ask you please
suicidal soul, let me keep
somethings that are not meant to be
Jul 2015 · 431
Broken Wings
Aleska Servian Jul 2015
Time does not seem to heal
the hole you made in my future
i wanna fill it up with your twisted words
amongst them all, you're the most interesting creature

I always believed in the unbelievable
when they told me to run, i stayed
maybe your fire wouldn't have caught me
and i could escape from my own denial's maze
Acting as if the truth was something illegal
when they told me to run, i stayed
because i thought i could dodge from the bullet
that i shot to my own direction yesterday

This feeling that defies gravity
destroyed kings and queens
i felt your arms twisting around me
slowly breaking my new dreamer wings

Now i look to the past
and i always wondered
Would you save me from the mundane reality?
Would you write me a new destiny?
Would you bring me back if i get lost?
Would you stab me slowly in the back?
Would you poison me through my cracks?
Would you wait for a thousand of springs?
For the girl with the broken wings?
Jul 2015 · 820
The Stars Above
Aleska Servian Jul 2015
The gap between her teeth
i bet you'll think it's lovely
and in cold nights, after midnight
she doesn't even feel lonely
I hope you find the time
and the courage to tell yourself
that you don't have to avoid certain feelings
and leave your dusty happiness on a shelf
But i wasn't capable
of breaking the bones of your ribcage
but i hope she can do this
squeeze your heart until there is no quiet rage

Life is all about the right time
and you always lose the right moment
then you go to the bottom of your mind
looking for reasons why you think you're broken
But you can not offer salvation
to someone who is already choking
with his own ideals of life
and misplaced lies
Sweet words that will remain unspoken

The brown color of her eyes
i bet you'll find beauty in the ordinary
because i think i scared you
when i tried to show you the extraordinary
I hope you can move those mountains
the ones you didn't even touch for me
until there, your fate will be resting
at the bottom of the sea
I'm sorry i wasn't capable
to change your mind about jazz and love
all this time the universe was screaming
"His loyalty was not to me, but to the stars above"
It's time to let you go
May 2015 · 443
Cracks
Aleska Servian May 2015
Do people seek revenge
on fate instead of on themselves?
A calm sea makes you think you're in control
Where can i hide my last weakness?
now that you've turned into a black hole
swallowing small pieces of my broken soul

Your heart was caged inside a tank full of sharks
but at the end of the tunnel i could still see the sparks

And i thought that i could save you
from yourself and from the world
but you have a sadistic way to treat the people that you love
So why don't you cut the rope?
close the door?
lose a battle to end this war
And you'll walk free
from all of the cracks you made in my mind

Do people blame it on the unpredictable
things they knew right from the start?
You made me believe i was the chosen one
I didn't hear the thunder
that was a warning about the storm
we haven't got a future to keep me warm

I was sewing good memories with your last goodbyes
but you were slipping through my fingers, it made me realize

That i thought that i could save you
from yourself and from the world
but you have a sadistic way to treat the people that you love
So why don't you cut the rope?
close the door?
lose a battle to end this war
And you'll walk free
from all of the cracks you made in my mind

You had me going blind
my expectations on a tray
holding on to something empty
slowly slipping away
I let you steal my tomorrow
I let you erase my past
the feelings that seem to be divine
are the ones that never seem to last
Feb 2015 · 535
Curse My Fate
Aleska Servian Feb 2015
Lonely boy, why didn't you close the door?
deep down you knew i'd be coming back for more
Banned from heaven's gate
come and curse my fate

Tell me if she also watches you sleep at night
counting every beat of your wild heart
I hope it's not too late
come and curse my fate

It's wrong to destroy someone's dream for your selfish desires
Look what you've done, i'm begging you to set my soul on fire

So pack your things and take the next train to the oblivion
don't leave Valerie waiting, and please be good to Vivian
And when i learn to fall in love with hate
you can come and curse my fate
Jan 2015 · 584
The Fountain Of Youth
Aleska Servian Jan 2015
At the night you let me in
i was too young and free of sins
the perfect prey in the wrong place
an untamed soul with an angel face
But there were thorns under your skin
a quiet little devil living within
he thought i could swallow his aches
giving him more than he could take

Drinking from the fountain of youth
my lips taste sweeter than the truth
steal my light
until you find another young soul to ******

And at the night you let me out
my brain was full of obvious doubts
it was when you finally lost your appetite
that i was hungry of someone to satisfy
You deny yourself the things that you can't live without
******* youth until it dries out
and the mysterious men were his alibis
while he was out there singing ***** lullabies

Drinking from the fountain of youth
my lips taste sweeter than the truth
steal my light
until you find another young soul to ******

At the night that it was already too late
you threw my ashes into the fire
blame it on a simple twist of fate
but i'll be reborn like a once ruined empire
Dec 2014 · 500
Heart Of Glass
Aleska Servian Dec 2014
I'm scared
my mind transcends my body
I'm scared
of the empty spaces left inside
Because it only takes
a few drops of unrequested pain
to make me believe I can wash my sins in the rain

I'm getting tired of burning bridges
when I can see your shadow on the other side
People give away their lives for so little
and spend the days running away from something divine

I really don't mind
having a heart of glass
that will be broken so many times
drinking my sorrows in a wine glass
So I will speak my mind
and run away so fast
then I'll leave my fears behind
while I break life's hourglass

What happens if you finally choose to stay?
I should've built higher walls to keep expectations away
A flash of images, but I don't know what to say
I had gone a long way
it gives and takes away

I really don't mind
having a heart of glass
that will be broken so many times
drinking my sorrows in a wine glass
So I will speak my mind
and run away so fast
then I'll leave my fears behind
while I break life's hourglass

I want to be judged by my mistakes
maybe there are some you can relate
you'll be aware of how it aches
to put yourself to sleep every single day
Dec 2014 · 801
Dear Catastrophe
Aleska Servian Dec 2014
Could you forget my last three words?
i feel like you met me in an unstable timeline
when i thought that the end was just the beginning
and the rebirth after a loss was something divine

As i saw my fears rising to the surface
it was time to lock my weaknesses in a cage
You were holding my heart in your left hand
and through the sins i saw the Golden Age

Embrace me like a dear catastrophe
guide me to the opposite place that i chose to stay
Fear me like a dear catastrophe
i'll give you half of my soul, then i'll take it away

It's the kind of medicine that kills you slowly
but you keep going because you can't handle the pain
i could call you my favorite placebo
but at some point i'll have to break this chain

People go, but they leave scars that last forever
a warning sign printed on our skins
Stay the night and i'll lay my head down on your shoulder
then i'll be sure that the insecurity won't break in

Embrace me like a dear catastrophe
guide me to the opposite place that i chose to stay
Fear me like a dear catastrophe
i'll give you half of my soul, then i'll take it away
Dec 2014 · 597
Pandora's Box
Aleska Servian Dec 2014
Some of us seek comfort in the stars
some of us find hope in a war
I think i'm addicted to the uncertain things
and i could use a dose of optimism running through my veins

Start a fire in my soul
and i'll rise from the ashes
things beyond our reason or control
break my wings with a thousand lashes
There are nights that my mind is about to explode
cause i light up my fears with matches
but i'll survive, i always try
putting my poisoned thoughts inside a Pandora's box

Why my perspectives remain inside a cage?
empty like a blank page
how come these bullets seem to fill up all my holes?
I put my trust in ghosts
when i needed you most
tell me that you have that kind of touch that can console

Start a fire in my soul
and i'll rise from the ashes
things beyond our reason or control
break my wings with a thousand lashes
There are nights that my mind is about to explode
cause i light up my fears with matches
but i'll survive, i always try
putting my poisoned thoughts inside a Pandora's box

My sixth sense is as sharp as a knife
it helps when you live between parallel universes
after all, this is a wonderful life
if you get to live everyday without worrying about the future
Dec 2014 · 561
Where We Naturally Belong
Aleska Servian Dec 2014
A phoenix took our crown
far above the clouds
to where we naturally belong
closer to the storms
We'll try to make them proud
singing the forbidden song
from where we naturally belong

Raise me up
like a holy drug
fill my lungs
with liquid gold

Zeus, please, forgive us
we recognize that we are cheap sinners
open the golden doors
let us rule the world
Ambition can be hard as a stone
specially where we naturally belong

Raise me up
like a holy drug
fill my lungs
with liquid gold

We'll be gracious and deadly like a lightning bolt
but they'll scream our names on the ****** streets
Do you fear the final and eternal judgment?
you fear the final and eternal judgment

She has bright emerald green eyes
but make no mistake, she breathes destruction
my darling, it won't take long
before we wreck the place that we used to belong
Dec 2014 · 609
Purple
Aleska Servian Dec 2014
Seek out some quiet place
to stop the revolution that's going on inside your head
While the curtains are still closed
you can unfold just like a ****** rose

You see through purple lens
take a deep breath and try to reach out
to the golden ball floating above your head
You see through purple lens
take a deep breath and try to slow down

You've got the perseverance on a string
walking with your head down like a doomed king
It's a deadly roller coaster ride
when you blame yourself for failures that you couldn't hide

You see through purple lens
take a deep breath and try to reach out
to the golden ball floating above your head
You see through purple lens
take a deep breath and try to slow down

You like to run in the opposite direction of the earth's rotation
covering your tracks so no one can judge you from your last incarnation
It's safe now, you can take off your mask
but you won't let yourself go, because

You see through purple lens
take a deep breath and try to reach out
to the golden ball floating above your head
You see through purple lens
take a deep breath and try to slow down

It is all a matter of feeding your demons
and letting them run free at midnight
Watch your empire burn down
not making a single sound
Nov 2014 · 402
Release
Aleska Servian Nov 2014
There are people like you
that are always trying to be saved
i thought that at night you would realize
i'm not someone worthy to be praised
If you are trapped inside your own mind
don't try to push me to my own abyss
Cause when it comes to your tormented soul
ignorance is bliss

Release
the panic of feeling relieved
I won't pick up your pieces
because you'll hide inside myself
along with your utopian love thesis
Release
this desire to live in a tragedy
Well, i'm not the pill that will make you feel complete
a weakness doesn't change your mortality
Release
the panic of feeling relieved

How many times we've found the lost key?
and you still prefer the cage
How could i stay forever?
with our non synchronized brain waves
There are people like you that still believe
that someone can fix their cracks
i thought that at some point you would realize
that i can't keep coming back
Oct 2014 · 559
Another Day Goes By
Aleska Servian Oct 2014
Another day goes by and i can't draw your mischievous smile
but i guess that on cold nights you become a little hostile
People tell me that i give too much value to things that will never thrive
that's the beauty on seeing hope in sad stories, dead flowers and drunk poets

Another day goes by and i don't try to cure you pain with a hot tea
i want surrealistic paintings on the walls, you're more like Van Gogh so you don't agree
On holidays we go to the coast just to hear the sound of the waves
and for a second it feels like heaven but then everything turns grey

Another day goes by and life present us with a hard task
i was already running away to somewhere i was safe in the past
You took my hand and led me to the edge of a cliff
"Would you jump if you knew that it will bring you some peace?"

Cinnamon apple pies right there outside the window
it's funny how we change, leaving our dreams on the pillow
Sometimes i just wanna close my eyes and hope that you'll never come
cause someone once said that love would tear us apart
We always believe that we can be smarter than our hearts

There are some skyscrapers that i don't know how to climb yet
until there we can stay home all night listening to some old casettes
It's so unique when the drums are syncronized with our heartbeats
We're sharing a straw, we're sharing a life, it's not too fast
Running, walking, crawling, you'll reach me at last

How long does it take to let go of this feeling?
i'm usually not afraid, but i'm afraid that you'll love me
Like a hundred bells ringing inside my head
see, i want you and i need you but is it the right time?
Wouldn't it be better to wait for you at the finish line?
Oct 2014 · 495
Nights
Aleska Servian Oct 2014
Here i go again
forgiving another unknown friend
walking towards the bitter end
When you left me the other day
i was a coward pretending to be brave
hiding somethings inside my rib cage

The only thing that i am sure
is that at nights i get insecure
because you can't see the color of my eyes

So if we try
giving our fears another chance
we wouldn't have to lie or say goodbye
Perhaps the universe is conspiring
against two troubled souls riding
wild horses at midnight

The only thing that i am sure
is that at nights i get insecure
because you can't see the color of my eyes
Aug 2014 · 553
Dragging Me Down
Aleska Servian Aug 2014
Does the scar still bleeds?
do you still water the seeds
thinking they will grow
and turn into something you know?
You taught me how to dance
but not without you're favorite song
now i can't dance along

Another's arms
we are building fake memories
the worst of the vanities
If your heart still burns
take a breath and bow down
your home is a ghost town

Please, don't run
with your black lungs
you're dragging me down
Aug 2014 · 1.5k
Black Diamond
Aleska Servian Aug 2014
You can rule the seas
you can rule the kings, my love
but not what's inside each one of us
We came from the stars
but here we are all dust
you gotta find an old soul to trust

You may feel alone, maybe
when you're in the middle of a crowd, fake it
don't kneel, embrace it
Because you're a black diamond
you're a black diamond

The clouds are on fire
but you can float above
please, choose to live even though it's a cruel world
You smell like spring
but you got the winter in your heart
don't let those walls just fall apart

You don't have to bow
whispers, you can hear them out loud
you may not be able to keep a vow
but you can keep your heart
You don't have to cry
those golden tears in your eyes
but someday you'll have to say goodbye
to your dark heart
Some words that my grandmother used to say to me.
Aug 2014 · 439
Siners
Aleska Servian Aug 2014
I'd let go of the steering wheel
i'd use my hands to shape the fire
if i could catch your eyes, and be your ally
rather than be just an animal trapped in your golden wire
If i'm against the heavens will
i'll sing for you in the hell's choir
we'll steal the holy grail
and spit its water
building a controversial empire

They can see through the crystals
the destruction that together we will bring
i'm just dancing with my torn dress
blooming as in spring
Front row seat to watch your coronation
i'll follow you down cause now you're my king
and we're sinners

I'd let go of the steering wheel
you'd step on the gas with the flat tire
they say that i'm a blank page
and i'm looking for a sadistic writer
I bring the gasoline and you provide the matches
you bring the cigarettes and i provide the lighter
it tastes better than a expensive wine
our names in the headlines
we are both survivors
Jul 2014 · 453
Under My Wings
Aleska Servian Jul 2014
I cut your wings when you tried to fly
a beautiful act of desecration
dark shades of purple under your eyes
your ruins were my greatest creation
Swallowing aspirins like they were mints
they can take you to a better place
you never looked so beautiful since
i decided to put some tears on your face

I'll be here with you, i won't let you fight
I'll be here with you, i won't let you rise

And when you try to run away
the world will chase you and hold you as a hostage
i said you were not invincible
And when you try to run away
you'll see that dreams are nothing compared to knowledge
But i'll keep you under my wings
like you are part of my skin
i'll keep you under my wings
away from all the sins

Part of our soul is as dark as the night
and you're not used to cope with frustration
but with me you'll walk through the bright side
matching reality with expectation
About overprotection.
Aleska Servian May 2014
I'm an old oak with thousands years of wisdom
but i look at you and i see a fog
a penny for your feelings
hundreds and millions for your thoughts
My trust is now living in exile
i can shake their hands but i can't feel it's warmth
fortunately you're my candle
but my life has no fire alarm
When you look away i have this feeling that you're looking beyond the pines
talking to the horizon
And i stare at those blue eyes cause if i blink it all may disappear in my mind
moments are not like diamonds

I can't read your aura
my mind is trapped in coma
so i'm letting go of your hand cause it's dragging me to the deep blue sea
Once in a lifetime, aurora
leaving pages behind, colder
i know exactly how i'm feeling, but do you feel the same way about me?

Riding lions without a saddle
then i look down while i cross the earth
i hear your words from someone else's mouth
and yet it still feels like a rebirth
I may never experience your savage anger
or the sweet golden strings of your kindness
someone will kidnap your youth
when i see you again there will be more darkness
We build relationships brick by brick but i'm the kind of person that uses wooden fences
so i can slip away for a while
They don't really know you, and neither do i, maybe i'll never will
but it's alright to fantasize with a smile
Apr 2014 · 1.3k
Poison Ivy
Aleska Servian Apr 2014
The smoke covering your face
i feel like i've been back from outer space
and i don't even know the last numbers of your credit card
Feel the thrill of the chase
unpredictable like a horse race
i'm wearing your favorite shirt, barefeet in your yard
I didn't tell anyone that it spreads like cancer
and through the neon lights, i'm your favorite dancer
wild and beautiful like a black panther
Take me to hell baby
anywhere, amaze me
Vines growing inside my veins like a poison ivy
when you're around the taste in my tongue is spicy
and after some chapters i realize that i'm so tiny
compared to the strings that you use
to make me move against my own rules
Mar 2014 · 535
Stranger
Aleska Servian Mar 2014
I like to love strangers
as if i've known them for a long time
i like them cause they're flawless
and they'll let me sleep at night
When you have a butterfly in your hands
suddenly it's not that beautiful anymore
That little house on the hilltop
looks so much more magical from the shore
You can dream awake without wondering if he'll bring you fresh roses
We live in a hologram but at least on this side
he writes like the best composers

What's gonna be tonight?
a cafe in Paris or Tokyo's neon lights?
i can choose your perfume and your black coat
a chevy nova in my front door
I'd like to know who you are
outside my mind

There are times that i don't know who i am
but you're there all the time
we travel through different ages
you take your papers and leave at midnight
The golden chains are loose
the arrow is not crossed in my lungs
you can still feel free and wild
to love thousands while you're young
I can make a sketch of his unstable personality
stop denying your attraction for death
we're all connected to someone, somehow
Spiritually
Feb 2014 · 1.3k
Homeless
Aleska Servian Feb 2014
I wanted to build a glass building
so i could always keep my eyes on them
they shake hands in exchange of coins
i'm sitting on the dark singing the national anthem
When you never belonged to anything
you can sleep on the cold floor and pretend it's a bed
When you never belonged to anyone
you can take your loneliness and wear it as a hat
I guess they won't notice
if our tears open holes on the street
The pink big elephant
in the living room
he wants to take your seat
I don't usually write these short poems, but the inspiration to continue ran away.
Feb 2014 · 841
Just A Soldier
Aleska Servian Feb 2014
I can tell you you're just a soldier
i can take that weight off your shoulders
but you can't turn around and run away
no boat waiting for you at the bay
Money can pay you a sweet lover
it can't buy a family to wait for you at the door
that's when you start trying to read the stars
it'll make you feel better if you believe you're from Mars

But there's always some tips
hold on to your life like it was a crystal
lick this popsicle like it was a pistol

You can stay and we can start a riot
through the night killing young lions
it will fill you up with the only thing you can't give

Your beliefs look like a cheap satire
and you're choking on your dark desires
remember that you don't belong to anyone
you're the poor soul that won
Cuz money can pay you a sweet
but not someone to stop you from bleeding out
that's when you start trying to read the stars
or just set fire to your car

But there's always some tips
hold on to your life like it was a crystal
lick this popsicle like it was a pistol

You can stay and we can start a riot
through the night killing young lions
it will fill you up with the only thing you can't give

Sometimes you get used to your injuries
you swallow your happy mamories
wearing a snake as a necklace
they never let you be more reckless
Feb 2014 · 577
To be loved
Aleska Servian Feb 2014
I like to write our names with blood
so life can seem a bit more poetic
i keep your wick hair in my pocket
my friends didn't agree that Hamlet was that dramatic
The sunset makes me feel so sick
but when you hold my hands and i take my pills
i feel like i'm van gogh's daughter
a mortal virus that can't be killed
We're looking for meanings in the most futile things
a honorable God on the corner of his eyes
bring me someone's head on a tray
to prove that our flame's still alive

Would you treat me like a suicidal queen?
i'm a lonely wolf who got used to be alone
my tears in a black and white screen
like a porcelain doll you'd lock me in a glass dome
All i want
is to be loved
all i want
is to be loved

We'll sit on the windows of your expensive car
your dark hair invisible through the night
i bet they thought i kissed the devil
cause i always wanted to be the reason of a fight
Paris burned his legacy for his muse
women expect nothing but true violent love
life enjoys making us unhappy
send your letters through a black dove
A bonfire and a cheap bottle of wine
i'll cover myself with the money that you stole yesterday
i can be deaf, i can be mute, i won't be blind
looking for a gangster Romeo for my birthday

Would you treat me like a suicidal queen?
i'm a lonely wolf who got used to be alone
my tears in a black and white screen
like a porcelain doll you'd lock me in a glass dome
All i want
is to be loved
all i want
is to be loved

And i'll run to you with all the thorns in my feet
i'm feeling pretty loved
the hunger is divine and i'll eat your own meat
feels like i'm being hugged
Feb 2014 · 906
Eat Me Alive
Aleska Servian Feb 2014
I gave you the key to my golden coins room
but you buried your loyalty on those dunes
a sarcastic smile with your broken teeth
people were saying that loneliness was made for me
An arrow on my back
point a beautiful golden gun at my forehead
it is divine to believe we're the same
while you rip out my guts with no shame

I'm one of your favorite paper dolls
the clouds won't stop my fall
if you're gonna **** me and throw me to the tides
i rather you eat me alive

We dance all night til our feet start to bleed
he has seven beasts that he forgets to feed
then he searches for shelter on those happy eyes
when we want to be happy we have to build some lies
My hands tied above my head
a dynamite sitting on my lap
i'm another card behind your ears
a mistake you'll never fix

I'm one of your favorite paper dolls
the clouds won't stop my fall
if you're gonna **** me and throw me to the tides
i rather you eat me alive

Everyone in this room can hear our laughs
i thought i was your everlasting healer
and you were looking for a love dealer
Jan 2014 · 930
Edwin
Aleska Servian Jan 2014
Edwin was a boy
who saw things in black and white
in this world he was a tourist
he was always chasing the green light
About faith, he was a skeptic
never prayed before a fight
he would jump without his parachutes
a wild soul that couldn't die
You see
people nowadays use wheelchairs made of hope
but they sleep in ****** sheets
there is never a chapter to be closed
Edwin used to see his neighbours as oysters
they would never come out of their shells
it makes me a little jealous
we like to ride deadly carriages without wearing a seatbelt

He cries all night
He dances all day
Oh little boy, one day
One day they will pay for your ransom
Oh little boy, one day
They will pay your real value

Edwin was a man
who always liked to play with razors
feel the breath of life hanging in your hands
a beautiful death angel
He spent eighty years trying to solve this riddle
my dear, life is like a bingo
you may have the invincible golden sword
but you will spend eternity in a limbo
He saw
that they build castles with pillars made of sand
they think it is beautiful to die in a war
while they listen to a cheap jazz band
Your eyes flying faster than an eagle
the honour slipping through your fingers
When we look at the stars we know
that we are waiting for the winners

He cries all night
He dances all day
Oh little boy, one day
One day they will pay for your rescue
Oh little boy, one day
They will pay your real value

Edwin is long gone
we feed each other with his ribs
No one never listened to him
we think we know how to sail our own ships
Dec 2013 · 986
Insane
Aleska Servian Dec 2013
I can only feel it in my toes
some evil that is growing inside
i should have something to hold on
maybe a throne to fight for
a naive poetry to adore, while i'm just sitting here
I kept my memories in the attic
i avoided a chance that could be drastic
you always see me drinking
that same poison i once saw you eating
and that's the strongest drug
Cause we like to live as the romantics
it keeps us from panic
you'll play the guitar and i'll try to sleep

Remember all the neon lights
flowers in my letter box
times we were invincible
we thought we couldn't stop

Go back, go back, go back
cause you believe you left yourself in the past
look for someone to blame
a reason why you are now insane
Go back, go back, go back
try to find your own pack
look for someone to blame
maybe you were always insane
Dec 2013 · 763
Half of My Soul
Aleska Servian Dec 2013
My father told me that everyone lives by their own codes of living
that's when i decided to sail through unstable emotions
to find out that love is just another feeling
Andrew was a regular guy, then he decided to become a magician
that's when he realized, there are some things that can't be fixed
life's lies can be worst than a politician
The days are short and the years come crawling
what am i gonna do with the half of my soul?
the poets told me: "share it with someone"
i'd rather exchange it for a small amount of gold
In the winter, alone in the fireplace, you may cry for help
but what must be remembered is that your mood changes with the moon
and sadly, people are not vulnerable to spells
If i keep chasing my own tail
i won't find you, you won't change me
warm me up with a sweet cup of coffee
we were taught to laugh about our own misery
Nov 2013 · 1.1k
Dark Road
Aleska Servian Nov 2013
In our heads we've met in London
in our hearts we've met in a war
you were standing there staring at a ****** girl at the bar
I decided that i wanted to be like her
cause i felt your attraction for death
it was inside me, a secret feeling, a hunger that you've fed
The cold became so comfortable
and you said "it's pretty normal"
then it was the light, crazy golden butterflies
Suddenly everything is gone

I threw my legacy into the fire
you cut the rope, it was just desire
groaning, spitting blood, it ****** my soul
i hope God wasn't expecting the dark road
that we've decided to march
And we went down, down, down
we met Hades in the grey ground
but love, you know
the life's river is slow

Sometimes you wake up wanting to have
a great adventure with eternal memories
you came along and the ******* was part of the feast
To live seemed to be so boring
but then we found some colorful passages
they've tried to show us the way out
but i was finally understanding the messages
How can the destruction look so charming?
we started a battle without an army
they knew we were going to lose
and it was already done

I threw my legacy into the fire
you cut the rope, it was just desire
groaning, spitting blood, it ****** my soul
i hope God wasn't expecting the dark road
that we've decided to march
And we went down, down, down
we met Hades in the grey ground
but love, you know
the life's river is slow

Drinking venom just like water
a beautiful red shade in your eyes
my damaged child, i know you are mine
You need to accept your curse
the broken bones in your spine
the light is coming for us
I promess you, we'll be fine

I threw my legacy into the fire
you cut the rope, it was just desire
groaning, spitting blood, it ****** my soul
i hope God wasn't expecting the dark road
that we've decided to march
And we went down, down, down
we met Hades in the grey ground
but love, you know
the life's river is slow
Nov 2013 · 2.4k
Asylum
Aleska Servian Nov 2013
When i first met you you were so bored
i didn't hesitate sitting next to you
you said "your lack of feelings won't be a problem"
and we found each other to share our blues
Disdain, disease, disgrace, disgusted
the first tear was a waterfall
when you realized that i couldn't be trusted
trouble on paradise
the walls started to fall
So i ran away to the east, i climbed mountains, i found a priest
the pain was howling and i was looking for sweet words
I broke a mirror, turn my dark side into fear
cause when you were near i could easily run the world

My given name is Asylum
for a long time you were my ******
you know that i'm a loaded gun
that i used to break hearts for fun
now i'm not so sure
Go ahead and pull the trigger
i'll stand still and you're eager
cuts and bruises, now i'm done
you can hurt me just for fun
you're so sure
that we are better alone

Your heart was a stone, you were a gangster
my skin was cold as an iceberg
now it looks like i was the only amateur
even knowing the right codes to whisper
Give me a cigarette or this poison in your tongue
at least we're still connected by hate
The Smiths on the jukebox, you could sing along
but i guess you no longer believe in fate
So what if i decide to stay, to believe in something, to start to pray
would you look inside my head searching for your eyes?
Can we ask the gods to forgive our misery?
we can fight for victory, and i could die
knowing you have tried to be mine

My given name is Asylum
for a long time you were my ******
you know that i'm a loaded gun
that i used to break hearts for fun
now i'm not so sure
Go ahead and pull the trigger
i'll stand still and you're eager
cuts and bruises, now i'm done
you can hurt me just for fun
you're so sure
that we are better alone

Don't be scared of what i have to offer
i punched you in the face to make you a fighter
When you decide to leave
you can be a better person without me
cause i set fire to your brain
and you didn't let me explain
Nov 2013 · 546
Fucking Better Than Me
Aleska Servian Nov 2013
You came from nowhere to cause some panic in my kingdom
In a second you were the queen of the paradise,
and i became the evil
People used to look at you, how beautiful eyes
For them i was just dreaming too high
You were always so spontaneous and
i didn’t know what to do
That’s when i started to hate you

So if you’re wondering to yourself
“why am i always behind the lights?”
I’m sorry if i took your wars
when i couldn’t deal with a fight
You have the shine of the two of us,
and my sky is gray
I am the winter, so cold
And you have some warm words to say
I want you to know that it was so hard to keep
All those people around you,
all the thorns on my knees
When i asked to myself “Who i wanna be?”
I wanted to be you
Cause you’re so ******* better than me

Our behavior is always the point
that people want to compare
If it was a race you obviously
should be one step ahead
I think you’re the gold of the family
But i’m proud to be the creepy one
It doesn’t matter if you think that
my future is the brightest
Darling, you are the smartest.

So if you’re wondering to yourself
“why am i always behind the lights?”
I’m sorry if i took your wars
when i couldn’t deal with a fight
You have the shine of the two of us,
and my sky is gray
I am the winter, so cold
And you have some warm words to say
I want you to know that it was so hard to keep
All those people around you,
all the thorns on my knees
When i asked to myself “Who i wanna be?”
I wanted to be you
Cause you’re so ******* better than me

I finally took courage
And i hope you understand these words
Cause behind all the damages
You’re still being the center of the world
Nov 2013 · 629
Hourglass
Aleska Servian Nov 2013
I hit my head in a black hole
I was just seated watching the time
now i have these screams locked in my throat
you were right
In the end ain’t no second chances
I can feel it, my mind is changing
that’s the part that you have to go
and i’m loosing all my senses

I’ve tried to break my hourglass
cuz every second is a knife
and every day is a scar
in my pride
Why don’t you decide to stay?
you’re so older for you age
while i’m trying to stop the time

I said “now”, but now it’s too late
I can’t move my feet
and we’re in the middle of a race
we don’t have time to think about what we should fix
Why can’t we rebuilt the past?
those regrets are so unfair
live slowly, die fast
you were here to break the legs of my chair

I’ve tried to break my hourglass
cuz every second is a knife
and every day is a scar
in my pride
Why don’t you decide to stay?
you’re so older for you age
while i’m trying to stop the time
Nov 2013 · 570
Old Bird
Aleska Servian Nov 2013
The world is starting
now in your hands
everything can happen
but you need to build a fence
The world is starting
starting to rise
a bird that wakes up
and forgets how to fly
But he’ll fly away
cuz he wants to touch the sky
he’ll fly away
someday you’ll be mine

The world is an old bird
but he knows how to sleep
like a stubborn child
forever, you’ll see
In the bottom of the ocean
in some seas, strange tides
old bird, in your world
someday you’ll be mine

I know how to get there
but it’s a place that i’ve never been
it’s a place that you haven’t seen
with your own eyes
I bet you’d think it’s beautiful
and you’d stay, you’d sing
a smile in your eyes
you hair blowing in the wind
You love me, who’d have known
you looked so sad and weak
you forgot how old you were
but you were young again in a blink

The world is an old bird
but he knows how to sleep
like a stubborn child
forever, you’ll see
In the bottom of the ocean
in some seas, strange tides
old bird, in your world
someday you’ll be mine

Well then, be careful
the world is starting in your hands
it’s already rising, there you go
good things never come to an end
So beautiful, it doesn’t look old
flying, flying, flying
in the morning, so cold
Nov 2013 · 530
Part Of Me
Aleska Servian Nov 2013
Part of me is a crowd
part of me is alone
there’s no equation
i’m a poet in my own world
Part of me is filled with compliments
part of me is a creep
i’m the person you shouldn’t wish to be
Part of me is heavy
like an eternal guilt
part of me gets crazy
i still have a life to build

It is only a matter of time
will my mind change? are you going to be surprised?
maybe there’s someone inside of me
that wants so bad to be free

Part of me has breakfast and dinner
part of me wants to starve
dying young is a piece of art
Part of me lives forever
part of me just knows by now
i’m the one that screams secrets out loud
Part of me lives in a dream
i don’t want to wake up
part of me fights with the reality
i’ve failed, i have to get up

It is only a matter of time
will my mind change? are you going to be surprised?
maybe there’s someone inside of me
that wants so bad to be free

— The End —