I sit in this empty room.
My music, the only voice to be heard.
I hear the memories,
The moments.
As I drink it down,
The memories feel so near...
But they are gone forever.
The moments I remember,
Gone forever.

Time goes by, as I sit here.
Only to remember
Over and over again.
The smell is so sweet,
The dreams
I only weap.
Only remembering,
Forever gone.

The beauty,
I can still see.
Stuck,
Trapped in my mind.
Never to be spoken,
But only to be seen.
The angels they look.
They cry,
Seeing what could be.

I drink this drink,
Only to remember,
Only to feel again.
The purpose not to destroy,
But to live again.

I sit here,
In this dark lonely room.
Only to dream,
Never to live.
Only to feel,
The life of life,
What could have been.

The person I needed
When I was in my most Vulnerable.
Having those thoughts,
Wanting that door open.
No one knew.
I was alone.
Stuck with my mind,
I fought the keep it inside,
Not to show my weakness
The weakness of crying for help.
I tried to be tough,
Act like everything was good.
Detaching myself,
From myself.
To make it easier I guess
To forget who I was,
Where I was,
and Why I was.
I wanted to be,
Nothing.

In the past,
Almost opening that door,
No one knew,
I was going to open the door,
No one knew,
I wanted to open,
And be gone.
Thinking back,
Thinking at that moment,
The moment,
I heard he opened his door,
I didn't know why.
Then I thought,
If he could open it.
Maybe I could to.

I stare up into the dark abyss and wonder, why? why am I here? why am I self tortured. I am supposed to love myself, am I not? Then why am I here, wondering why, Why am I here? The wonder, so big/ Almost endless, I kinda want to cry. Not for any meaning, but I just really just don't know why. I do as i think feels right, what others tell me what is right. Don't mess up, don't be late, don't stop caring for others. But why? Why must I do? I may never find an answer to this question, even in my final moments. Just ignore it, carry on with my day.

It took a while
Those days and nights
Always wondering
Alway cared

I sweat and burned
Pushed with the pain
Lost my past
Finally gain

I used to dream
Only despaired
Sad and lonely
Full of care

Now It's passed
Without my care
Not a lot of dreaming
Only because I dare

My dreams became reality
It took a little more dare
With A little less care
So much gained
Much new to care

A kid i was
A man i am
Just a dream you were
A memory you are

Even if your eyes don't see
I don't care.
Its all gone
It has all passed.

Do I fear
being unknown?
Did life intend
for this so appear
as if I was alone?

Its been seared
burnt straight
and burnt clear
the ashes cloud the world
they stay
making fear

Trying to make me tear
its burning
flakes of fear
It's dark.
Am I alone?

It began to clear
The fear, it was no longer near
I saw the scars of my burnt flesh
it appeared, I was always alone.

Was there fear?
No, but only a spark
of a forgotten dear.
For ages, it still lights.
Just wish it wasn't so bright.

It's not so bad,
To be unknown.
It's okay.
It's just you, me, and I.
Against this cold dark world.
Nothing to fear, its will disappear.

Thoughts
Sometimes reality
Giving reason
To think
Wonderfully

Chance
Sometimes happens
Get a meaning
To live
With reason

Actions
More than a dream
Holding on
With meaning
Believing

Hope, With passion
One day, With meaning
The dreams, I hold on to
Become reality, Full of reason
Together

Hello my old friend.
Its been a while,
Since you've said hello.
I thought you were gone...
Removed from my reality.
But here you are,
Clawing into my skin.

I've held my head high,
Turned away from the hideous things
Burying the hate you bring out.
But it looks like you've got roots
They're deep. I cant escape.

I dont like to be reminded
I do not matter.
I've avoided that
Trying to see the whole the world
Before you set fire to it
Before you opened my eyes to the reality.

I wonder if anyone else sees,
Its hard to see the world's beauty again

Its not the world.
Its the people in it.

I dont like it.
To be  reminded,
There will always be
Despair, greed, selfishness, and sadness
In this cold dark world.

I dont like to be reminded...
I dont matter.
Not to anyone In particular,
But to this world
And all of her chaos

Not caused by her
But the people.