No thinking
I'm trying
Still drinking
I'm buying
It's ringing
Complying
It's thrilling
Brain frying
It's killing
I'm sighing
It's fitting
Applying
Not willing
I'm lying
No kidding
Mouth drying
I'm sinning
Unprying
Not winning
I'm tying
I'm sinking
Eyes crying
Eyes blinking
Sickening
I'm flying
I'm singing
But dying

What is it about you?
That makes you appear where not even my shadow goes?
That makes me yearn for you when I'm empty and full
Thoughts of you washes from my river where my love for you flows
So I hang my nights on a line
Hoping to reach the end where you and I meet
I miss breathing your air
The air that hurts so that it’s hard to breathe
Those eyes remind me of a girl I fell in love with on a day we don't remember
A girl that not even time could slow down
With eyes that could stop my heart, and change my life forever
She grips my life like a toothbrush
The world will hush
As she makes you rethink your whole existence, and purpose
What is it about you?
That makes you redirect my orbit
That makes you the sun my worlds revolve around
I’ve been avoiding this
Trying not to write about you
Because eventually I’d have to admit
That my obsession isn’t healthy
That without you, I feel empty
But I don’t want to
Because there was a time that I breathed without your air
There was a time that I did not care
If I lived or not
If I loved or not
But now I do
Because you gave me reason, and purpose
So how do I live without it?
How do I live without you?

Missing you proves that love exists because I loved you when you were gone
I’m sorry I give you competition when it comes to loving yourself
It’s hard to think of anyone else when my heart knows that you’re the only one...
for me? You made me the best version of myself
And helped me fight the battles of reality
They just started
But I already lost.

I knew the love was not mutual
I know, sometimes it’s hard to love when you don't love yourself
Never thought that my love could be perceived as unusual
Promise that you didn't pick me because there was no one else
I know that logic, and emotion doesn’t walk hand in hand
But why stand at a closed-door when mine is opened?
Maybe it’s better if things don’t go as planned
You were my sunlight in the rain, the reason I had hope, and coped and
The reason I learned that life’s treasures don't last forever
I saw myself as unworthy of your love when I had it twisted
I paid attention to your “ok”s and every “whatever”
I know you can’t force what’s not there… but I thought we existed

Quiet House
Closed Door
Empty Sneakers
Hot Room
Spinning Fan
Soft Whispers
Limited Time
Impatient Teenagers
Idle Thoughts
Wandering Minds
Innocent Intentions
Hesitant Lips
Dry Throats
Impure Actions
Sweaty Skin
Burning Foreheads
Pressed Bodies
Rosy Cheeks
Open Eyes
Tangled Legs
Messy Hair
Intertwined Hands
Rumbling Stomachs
Warm Feet
Full Hearts
Undying Love.

It's too much.
Maybe I feel too much.
Maybe I am too much.
Do I hear, or see too much?
Are you too much?
I'm not ready.
Maybe.
For you. For me. For us.
But mostly me.
I'm too much.
So I think by not thinking.
And I think it's too much.
But I think that we're just fine.
I think that it's enough.
Maybe.
We're a flawed perfect.
Maybe I love you.
I feel too much.
I am too much.
I hear, and see too much.
But you're not too much.
So I'm ready. For you. For me. For us.
But mostly us.

Is that your voice I hear?
...Or is it me deceiving myself again
The corners show me how to care
For those who rejoice at the thought of my end
But I don’t care.
And it is I, who will rejoice
I’ll abandon you, to love the exact fear that you send
But it’s my choice to iterate your voice
And run towards a dead end