The pain I feel is strange to me.
So strange to me it is,
that I don't believe it should count as pain.
It is more a feeling that makes me omit pain out.
I feel nothing
Nothing but numb
My heart rate picks up at the mention of things, not quit non yet
Though I feel as if I have left something and need to remember it.
Like I have forgotten something, or misplaced.
Though now when I try to only think of it,
It strikes me fast and hot,
across my body
at a full blown trot
Like a stamped of horses wild and free has been giving a path to come and run over me.
They step on my heart, my stomach, my chest
Like a burning wild fire,
it will soon spread through to the rest.
Till there is nothing left in its path,
but ashes ashes ash

My first party,
I'll have a blast.
Have a couple of drinks,
And forget my past.
Let my body sway to the music played.
I'm a horrible singer
Though I tip my head back and sing anyway.
Alcohol courses through my body,
Making me feel funny
Like I'm in a different body.
We stumble down the stairs
Crying from laughing
Having a hard time handling our liquor
But we have no fears.
Dreams feel possible,
While speech is blurred.
Touching each others bodies
Like it is the end of the world.
Head spinning
Fingers roaming
We fall to the ground laughing
Though still clinging.
I've been given drink after drink
Though I wish I hadn't
It's getting to hard to think.
The world is spinning all around
But we are still together
Clinging on the ground.
Tongue numb and dry
Tears fall from my eyes
I had not felt but tasted on my lips
Though I told you time and time again
"I'm not wasted, stop asking. Or next time I'll say no. And this will never happen again".
I had lied to you and my self.
Is it to late to stop you and ask for help?
My throats on fire,
I'm feeling sick
What the **** did you put in this drink?
No longer happy,
Just let me go.
"Get off of me!"
All I want is to leave and be free from this,
Of you,
Of this pain,
Of these tears,
Of this strain on my brain
And this sinking
                         feeling
                                     happening
                                                       ­  inside
                                                          ­             me.

I have been so busy
Work
Sleep
School
Food
Repeat
Though one thought stays with me
That I'm a fool in this world
That I'm just part of a game
That one day I will have been forgotten
Never brought-en up again.
In thought
In spirit
In speach
In dreams
Nothing
Nowhere
No one
Will ever again think about me.
I'll be gone
And forgotten.
It won't take long
Though I wish it would
The world will spin on
With one less person.