Interview with the Tortoise and the Hare after the race
Commentator: Hare, you had the race may I ask what happened back there.
Hare: no comment
Commentator: but Hare? You had the tortoise by a mile   and as the day progressed, the distance grew shorter. Why, Care to comment?  
Hare: no comment.
Commentator: Ok   let’s talk to the tortoise maybe he can fill in the blanks about the race.
Commentator to the tortoise:  Tortoise would you mind telling us about the fine race you just won?
Tortoise:  Sure my pleasure,  but  forgive me I am slow and it hurts my neck to  look way up at you can you sit where I can see you  a little easier.
(Commentator adjusts   to where the tortoise can see him easier)
Tortoise: Thank you much easier, it really hurts my neck to strain,  any way you asked me to tell about the race.
Well I sure thought that hare had me beat he took off in a flash, me and my short legs  I couldn’t keep up, all I had on my mind is cross the finish line. I knew he had beaten me just by the way he took off from the starting line. But during the race there were times I saw him sitting on the side line talking to people or rummaging through stores along the race route.
I thought ok maybe he needs a break he is running very fast, then by the time I pass where he is at the time I passed him he was running ahead of me once again. Again I thought just get to the finish line at least I  can say I finished the race I can’t turn back now , see I am not a quitter: the tortoise states I was asked to race  against him, knowing he is  seven  times faster than I will ever be.
But something was driving me to continue the race, not to give up take pride in each small step my little legs gave me. Soon again I saw the hare sitting on the side line this time he was asleep.
Funny I thought this is no time to sleep this is a race he is surely faster than I am , he should have already been at the finish line by now I could see the  small red flag way off in the distance, why did he stop here when he is  only a little ways away from winning the race,  I do say I did have to stop  for a minute myself there as well. Poor legs are very tired at that point. But the hare never moved much less saw me sitting right next to him while I also took a break.  So I got up and continued to walk towards the finish line. And here I am the winner of the race.
Commentator:  so at any point did the hare say anything to you during the race as he passed you?
Tortoise : yes , well more he laughed at me as he ran past me and at times would say  : he won the race he won the race.
Commentator:  ok tortoise do you have anything to say to the people watching the race?
Tortoise: well, I guess:  never underestimate what you can do when you put your mind to it. And maybe
Focus on yourself and the task at hand, and everything else will fall into place.
Commentator: Thank you tortoise and very well said, and Congratulations on winning today’s race.
(Commentator to the crowd: ok I will try one more time to interview the hare to hear his story)
Commentator: Hare, one more question if I may ?  Would you mind please tell me your side of the race activities today. And how do you feel about the outcome of  the day’s events.
Hare: Ok , I will answer these two questions  that seems burning in your ears to find out  why the event as it be. I lost the race can’t you see to the tortoise so low to the ground .
How can that be I am faster than he? I passed him at the starting gate and took a break and talked to my fans along the way, then when I saw him coming I took off running passed him by   as if he was standing still     and as I turned around a bend in the road, I took a break and grabbed something to eat and looked around the stores, and bought a few things but I have to go back and pick them up. You cannot run a race with hands so full of bulky objects you know.
So when I saw the tortoise  coming near to where I was I started running once again  this time  I was sure I had won I saw the finish line not far ahead and I  had left a lot of space between him and I so I could rest  , so I closed my eyes  I did not know he had passed me and won the race so when I woke I looked around I did not see him so I was certain  he was still a ways behind me , I did not realize the time was so late so I ran   to the finish line expecting to win the prize . Only to see the tortoise was standing by the trophy.
Commentator: I am sorry to hear that Hare. Is there anything you would like to tell the people watching the race today?
Hare: Yes,  I am bigger and faster than the tortoise is yet he won the race fair and  with honor.as for myself I looked at my size as a definite way to win a trophy that would sit on my mantle only thing I wanted really the race wasn’t  anything.
And along the way I  spent more time  thinking and doing other things instead of focusing on the race ahead. I was so sure I had won and had time to play and chat along the way. I was wrong to think a tortoise could ever win a race against a hare
I guess pay more attention to the thing in front of you at the time, all the other pressing things can be dealt with after a race if it is important enough and you remember to go back to it. Slow down and stay focused I guess  that is what I am trying to say.

                                                           ­                                                   Written by Alan Spivey 6/11/2012

who knew really when  we first met
so many years ago so many to count
today we would say to each other i love you
dont let go just hold me tight
first time in a long time
to hear those words tears in each others eyes
who knew  what we had to go through  in life  
just to hear these  words from me and you.
first time in a long time
it didnt matter what others thought
but what it taught  
when life is down   there is always someone watching  trying to get through
who knew really when  we first met
now she says  you are stuck the others are out of luck
i am never letting you go   just so you know.
so many years ago so many to count
today we would say to each other i love you
dont let go just hold me tight
first time in a long time
who knew really when  we first met
the others  i know  they still mean alot to you and  will continue too
but now i hold the reigns and they had the chance to  gain.
so your taken no looking back   the past is no where to go,  
the future is me and you.
who knew really when  we first met
so many years ago so many to count
first time in a long time
to hear these words  and know they are true
I love you
your stuck with me.
long time waiting
First time in a long time who knew really when  we first met
sorry girls i am taken it happened when i wasnt looking  not much to say after that
First time in a long time who knew really when  we first met
alan spivey 1/23/2014

( Celtic music loud beating of thunderous drums,  the violin whispering in the wind, the  flute giving off its tribute,  the choir carrying the melody to the hearts and souls of everyone around)


the drums lightly beating  the hum of the violin  the flute lightly opening up    and walking  the  drums to the thunderous clash  the opening..................

Just Dance

                 Just Dance  
                                            Just Dance  
                                                         ­                   Just Dance
If your heart is filled with all its glory and its over flowing Just .......dance

If your dreams are coming true   , and everything seems to be they way you wanted it too Just dance

  and if  things turned out  differently and wasnt as you seemed it to be........... JUST DANCE   Just  Dance

Open up your heart into different things set in your mind the possibilities Just DANCE just Dance....... Just .......just ........just ...... DANCE

If your love has grown and flourishes day and night...... all with open arms that  carry you through  lifes flight Just dance just dance just .. dance

if you'er alone no where to turn , no one in ...sight  open up your arms  grab on to the light .........Just Dance  Just dance

Open up your heart into different things set in your mind the possibilities Just DANCE just Dance....... Just .......just .......DANCE

if doing  for others as it flourishes and gets off the ground with out anticipation of what is around  Just dance

If  things happen  that distance each other  and silence is all that is between grab on  to the possibilities of what is around that could bring a solid ground  Just Dance Just dance

Open up your heart into different things set in your mind the possibilities Just DANCE just Dance....... Just .......just ........just ...... DANCE

Open up your heart into different things set in your mind the possibilities Just DANCE just Dance....... Just .......just ........just ...... DANCE

                                             Just Dance
                   Just Dance

Just Dance


( this is  for everyone we have all been there a time or two JUST DANCE)

By alanspivey 1/15/2014

Ode to *** and coke

I toast the old *** and coke
the after hour drink from one job to the next
sometimes not a break  just slip from one kitchen to the other
one paid  the other didn't well except for the drinks
Oh how  i adore  you *** and coke
wake up in the morning coffee in hand  blinders on
weary look  up on my face, each  morning other side of the wall from the coffee
lays her sleeping with  someone new

  my heart racing   anguished and  foolish , embarrassed at every turn.   I turn back to my room coffee in hand

watch the clock tick  until 2 pm  get on my scooter  to job number one a place really where I can be in my own world  until closing time, then off to  job  number 2  a repeat  of number 1
except for  in the waiting  after the shift was done a *** and coke  is to be in hand.
Tired and weary  every hour dusk until dawn.

A time where i felt no escape and no place to run and there at the end of the all shifts
old *** and coke  waiting for me to take her in my hands and sip and taste  
oh what grace...  the numbness sifting out all of  daily happenings oh so sweet.

day in day out  old *** and coke  came about..and met me in the night...

then one night  waiting for  old *** and coke  on second order
came across something new
after getting second drink looked over and said hello... several years ago
Now..both restaurants are gone,   things i trusted and beleived in  gone,
i have  moved, my friend stopped talking
everything has changed once again  
like the never ending circle

oh how i wish i had that *** and coke
the bartender knew  just how much  it took to drown the day in each and every glass
he would pour for me
i raise the *** and coke high into the sky and toast to its existence
for it would listen and ease up all the pain.

Ode to *** and coke

by Alan Spivey 1/20/2014

Memories, just faded memories
                                                                                                                                        By alan spivey

Looking out my window, Eleanor is playing on the old rope swing that’s hanging down from the old oak tree.
Mary is walking up the steps from going into town to open my front door. The horses are whining and ready to rest from their long   ride. The carriage so black and shiny stands there with pride.
The Calvary just passed on their way to who knows, since I can’t move to see what’s going on, my bones are crackling I am getting old.
Memories, just faded memories,
Eleanor isn't there  the swing has fallen years ago the old yellow ribbon  Mary tied  for her husband  who never came back home only a little piece  still shows on that old oak tree.  
My doors swing open and closed with the wind, my window has since been broken. I ..  I still see Mary and Eleanor but they never come through my doors or play on the old  swing.
They just fade away like faded memories.
I am  old my bones are crackling  I am falling down  more often for I am their house I am whom Mary’s husband made for her before he  went to war.
Memories, faded memories

Sometimes i write as time goes by
i enter a few strokes of a key  into the  flame of  what life brings
sometimes i ponder what it would be like if i had this or that
sometimes it just happens as if it  belonged
   i write for the feeling, the inspiration , the longing
i write for the dream of then and now
i write for what passed me by  and for what i have in sight
i write for my friends and for myself
a guiding light the light house inside my mind
the shores are rocky
some make it through  
some  need the helping hand and other don't make it  through
i am a simple man yet vast in many ways
so i write or paint to guide  others in their way. i am a friend  
so i write my poems

Talking to the inner child within

Hello, Self
I called your name many times and knocked at the door. You didn’t answer in the past so I figured I would try one last time. I am glad you answered this time.
I know you are mad and scared , I left you alone  as did the others, from the rush of everything I didn’t look back to see if you were following me, when I finally  looked back  you were nowhere to be found.
So I dropped everything and started wandering place to place looking for you, searching through people some good, some bad. Some people helped, some took away. So I kept on searching, I almost gave up when I heard a little child cry , I kept listening and listening no one was around, people left or walked away. I was feeling as if I lost my world. So when I heard the child’s cries.  I started looking  around still no child to be found then I sat  back down and put my  head in my hands   thinking looking around still hearing the child, closer and closer it seems to get. I felt my heart jump at one point something startled me.  The sound was coming from within me, the child and the cries; I started feeling the pains, the anguish. The remorse and despair was so thick trying to find you was tough the more I searched the thicker it became.  Then I realized what it was I was seeing the inside of myself , how can this be I thought then I realized  I let  things get to me over time, and let people hurt  and cause  me pain and sadness along the way. I wasn’t enjoying life or living a dream I was encased without escape, encased by those who pushed and shoved, demanded and scorned until it built and built a scar of hurt and pain. Work and work, do my say don’t think.  When I started doing my own thinking that’s when I heard   your cries.
It took me a little while you know and loss of many good people and help along the way, but I am here and have been knocking at the door for some time, and yelling your name; so again thank you for answering the door this time, I was almost out of ideas as to what to do next it would have been a long road back to nowhere.
  Can we talk? Would you like to tell me what is on your mind and your thoughts all this time?
If it is yes ,  get your shoes I know it’s been a long time since you have been out , and I will get you some sunglasses to protect your eyes until you become accustom to the sun  ,  but first as I kneel down  to  his level so he can see me face to face , will you  ever forgive me and accept my apologies for  all those many lost years  when you should have been   with me and not  hidden deep inside.
If you are ready lets go  we may even go get some ice-cream, do a little fishing ,play in the mud puddles during the rain and maybe even after; what do you say? Sound like a good plan. Play games,  lets meet people together  who knows  who or what we may run into, but I am here now with you and this time everywhere I go you are with me and if you are slow that’s find  we have plenty of time.  Come on lets  go see what’s  out there  are you ready  this will be new to you , let me see  it through your eyes this time where my eyes are weary you have  to yet see it all so maybe you will see something I have overseen.
Thank you for opening up the door. I love you

.

                                                                                                                       Written by Alan Spivey 5/31/2012

Good Luck to  the worlds OLYMPIANS in Sochi ,Ru.
you are already  our winners !!!!!!have fun thats what it is really all about, the medals are the prize. Just being there is  an honor and life time experience.  congrats and good luck to all !!!!!!!!!!!

A window that held every dream
Hope, want and need
I reached for I wanted and came back with a ****** hand
Broken glass scattered upon the floor and on the ground
Was it greed or was it reaching for something you needed, believed, hoped and dreamed and freed them from the captivity encased and, hidden behind a pane of glass
Blood streaming down my hand
This wasn’t what I was reaching for to come back hurt and in pain with glass scattered on the floor mixed with blood, and tears
It is said” we hurt the ones we truly love and have the most respect for”
“We flirt and give attention to the ones hardly known”
“And give pleasure to the fleeting soul, the runners of the night”
In turn it is truly only ourselves who really gets hurt
The choices that was made no one else to blame
Staring out the broken pane of glass that once was a window
This wasn’t what I was reaching for to come back hurt and in pain with glass scattered on the floor mixed with blood, and tears
Please forgive me the ones I love,
And the ones hardly known it takes time
The fleeting soul, the runner of the night you’re not needed the thief of all things right and true
Broken glass scattered upon the floor and on the ground
Was it greed or was it reaching for something you needed, believed, hoped and dreamed and freed them from the captivity encased and, hidden behind a pane of glass
Staring out the broken pane of glass that once was a window


                                    Alan Spivey 8/24/2012

I had a poem i was going to write
threw it away just now
I realize after writing  
the people i care about  are just to busy
I gave my time as if it was candy oh how dandy
that was the only real thing  at the time i had to give day or night
now in return  the words in rhyme" I'm to busy" chime
I had a poem i was going to write
threw it away just now
opened arms  caring soul not sure where i was to go
even under strain  i gave my time and loose change
maybe even my last dime

i am too busy  from those few
I had a poem i was going to write
threw it away just now
.............................................
...............­..............................
so now as i write  yes i am  busy too
the difference
I am not so busy  to say hello and still lend the helping hand
i was once that too busy , now  at my age learning to live once again
i will never again be too busy for a friend or loved one or for the stranger whom might just become a new friend.
I had a poem i was going to write
threw it away just now
because no matter  where or what in life we stand, what  we believe in or stand for....
i am not to busy   for hello coffee and a chat.or a helping hand..

By alan spivey 1/19/2014
to all my friends i am not to busy just  knock at my door if you ever need me once again .i will have the coffee on.

path

rocky and harsh
uphill
unknown

different direction than others walk

my reality requires no 420 or some funny rainbow  not caused by a storm
path i chose to take

i chose not to follow while others jump


path

rocky and harsh
uphill
unknown
i walk alone  my way
Path

A Day in the Now
To the guy sitting across from me on the bus today
Smiling and carrying his groceries to where ever home or
His journey leads, at first I didn’t pay attention.
However, something kept pushing me to take a look
So without seeming as staring or prying I took the look
I could almost feel the tears in your smile, the pain and agony
It takes to produce a wonderful smile in the short glance
I saw the scars of a fire, from first glance as you walked on the bus
Everything seemed normal in appearance, but as I said I wasn’t paying attention
Until I had the feeling to take a look, through you my kind Sir;
God spoke to me with your wonderful smile; God showed me your pain
Which produced that smile and it touched my heart.
You are an inspiration to this man, Sir. God be with you on your Journey.
Later in the day walking back to the bus stop from donating blood
A man comes up to me and says” pardon me, sorry for bothering you
I am not the type of guy who asks for change, and this is embarrassing for me to ask”
I said ok, what’s the problem he said he left his house without his cash and ran out of gas
I said ok, quick glance at him nice clothes and friendly, so I handed him all the change I had in my
pocket and told him Sir that’s all I have but you are welcome to it, it wasn’t much really.
He walked back over to where his car was at the gas station, went inside paid with what he had
As I walked past him he yelled thank you for your help. Nice car, Thank you God.
So as I was waiting for the bus, I started thinking about today I had an hour wait not much else to do
Then it hit me some times God has to breakdown something that’s not working or restructure
In order To build it better his way; (if I said this right.)
So with the toils and strife I have faced personally and wasn’t listening to God as I should have been
God was breaking me down to restructure my life, because the old way was harmful to myself and
It wasn’t his way, and productivity went down. So here I am listening, loving and following Christ
Now as he is breaking my life down and restructuring it into the way he had planned in the first place
Where he leads me I don’t know, I just know where he says I will follow.
A day in the Now
Alan Spivey 9/08/2012

sometimes I wonder
The things I have accomplished and or have done for you and others,
did you really see me,
or were you hiding behind something else, just playing a role or acting the part out.
but then it comes back you didn't see me because if so you would have known.
I may be a country boy,
but my tastes go beyond,
my experiences I stand proud.
my talents are many,
strong yet I do cry,
heart with feeling,
I don't see politics in a person
I see the heart, and spirit.
may be I live in an older world
a different world.
maybe, you just didn't see me and was hiding behind something else
and I was standing right in front of you and answered every call. maybe as I wonder I did everything right.written by alanspivey 5/5/2013

friendships are important to me
it's a window of endless possibilities
yet  i am different
i do not agree  with some activities ,
i lived around  druggies
and around the gay society
i am straight
I don't need these activities  to rule my life
it shouldn't
i am learning  we all are different
even then it shouldn't hinder who we are as a person
you say my soul has darkened because i disagree
no  it hasnt  i promise you that
everyone wants respect yes, but when i said no, or hey back off i am straight
i know no other way to say thats not my game.
then i become the hated or dubbed the hater so then i play the part
friendships are important to me
it's a window of endless possibilities
yet  i am different
i do not agree  with some activities ,
i lived around  druggies
and around the gay society
i am straight
I don't need these activities  to rule my life
it shouldn't
so why is it such  a big deal
for you to push and i am to stay quiet
why ..
i find myself the minority now
because i disagree with the lifestyles
the activities were hated long before and now they are the norm
why
my soul never changed   i just disagree with some activities
like you disagree with my  cigarettes and coffee
why



By alan spivey 2/5/2014

this heart of mine
she said it is no use
she is stuck haunted and taunted
by an ex flame
use to the abuse non physical all demanded and mental
wish i understood
single life once again
shattered hearts
duct tape
sewing needle and thread
  wish i understood this heart of mine
  from the past
no reason to mend  tape falls off, and i cant sew
leave it shattered on the floor
this heart of mine
she said it is no use
she is stuck haunted and taunted
by an ex flame
use to the abuse non physical all demanded and mental
wish i understood

Silence
Fighting to get ahead the distance is despair
No one listens or seems to care,
Push, push away arm yourself for another day
Silence
Heart lays burdened upon the floor
Let it be his lesson
Silence
Only fools choose to speak only for something to say
Meaningless as it may
Silence
Has everything to say
  Belittled and whittled until nothing left
Like the phoenix bird
Death is reconstruction, re birth
The fires of life shall be heard
From the silence of the night
Silence
Days turn to night where the fight is
Is it me or are you who seem to pursue
The anguish of the night
Or is it just me trying to survive
Silence
Unbearable but only for those who are right
But growth be as it might shall overcome in time
Silence
Who is right?
Written by alan spivey 6/14/2012

buried underneath  the piles of ruble
it took just a deeper look
just to see
me

not as a boyfriend, lover, best friend or other
not to see the lonesome heart or  son or brother
a deeper look to see
me
i am of no other
trials and mishaps did not ****
so  they only showed my strengths
i have not had my fill

a deeper look
showed a heart
struggle
a life
love beyond all reasonable means
it showed me........ me


a deeper look
what i have been searching for
was ........
me

apon the topic of love
oh what can i say ,
every day i hear  I love you, xoxo
and with in minutes i hear your my buddy

no promises made lets just stay and remain   the friend

yet i  hear i love you , xoxo day to day.
yet i am still single
yet i still love
yet i  desire the  feel from  love
yet i desire  making love
yet i  still hear day to day i love you
and  next lets stay friends
yet i grow older , wiser not sure
yet i  yurn for  a love to hold
yet i still think theres a *** of gold at the end of every rainbow
yet I ..... the story still unfolds

I started to write a poem
but then i realized
no one is going to listen
or going to care
everyone is too busy
too  easy  just brush it off the sleeve
like a fallen hair
pretend to never care  or if
you were even there
until thats what they beleive


since  promises get broken
words a dime a dozen
loves fall  into and fails out
friends come and go
seem to never care

i started to write a poem
just to be silent












Maybe then my heart ,my voice, my love will be heard.
                                                     alan spivey 2015

I beleive
  small things
are the biggest  things in a persons life..
I beleive
In love at first  sight and  also love at the third
I beleive
in  family is not always  from blood
but from  the heart of  special people who choose to be a part
I beleive
in angels
are everywhere, even  when times are down they are around
I beleive
in the sparkle in  ones eye
is the magic of ones heart
I beleive
a smile is golden
but  at times is has to shine from with in a persons heart and radiate out
  I beleive
in friendship
even from afar  may not  hear  from them often but just to know the person is there
I beleive
in miracles  
I beleive
in Santa and  his sleigh
I beleive
age is  a number of chances by the years count of the many chances to get   things just right to shine above the many failures to  step foward with success
I beleive
in myself
so that I may inspire others to  beleive as well
I beleive

Sitting at the poker table
The cards handed to me
Four aces and king of hearts
Any players dream
I could win that hand and carry
Home the ***
However
I kept the ace of spades and king of hearts and discarded the rest
In return I received queen of hearts, jack of diamonds, ten of clubs.
A flush how ever I may not win the game.
Bets all placed cards shown.
I could have cleaned house with main hand, however I threw away the greed and picked up my pride and still won the game.
The flush.

Standing at Heavens Grace
                                                                                                                                                  By Alan Spivey

My horse and I  were riding the fence line  just as my boss ordered me to do, he said  “there’s a tear in the fence line somewhere out  there  we are losing our cattle I need you to find  the tear and  mend it be on your way .  Then get back here I have more chores for you to do” that was two days ago and still no sign of any tear.  My horse is hungry as well as I, and we both could use some water we are so dry.
  We ride some more tired and sore, still no sign of any tear.  Then I see something ahead we walk up to what we saw there is an old man sitting on a bale of hay alongside the fence line we have followed for days.
I said old man is you lost or something.  There is nothing here for miles away so may I ask   why are you sitting on a bale of hay?   I asked the old man, with that hay that you are sitting on may I give some to my horse he is very hungry, and could kindly use something to eat?  The old man said, “Son, yes you may.
I then said I am somewhat hungry in addition, would you by chance have some   jerky to chew.  The old man then replied back   saying “ son I have better coming your way stay here a bit rest  there’s buffalo  heading your way , but warning  there’s a white buffalo behind the one you are to shoot don’t shoot the white one, let him come to a rest before you take your shot.
  Then the old man got up and walked away, and then he disappeared just like that.  Sure enough just as the old man said the buffalo and the white one arrives I was amazed, I have heard stories about this   animal but I never once thought I would ever live to see it.  I let it come to rest as I raised my rifle to shoot the buffalo just ahead of the white one.  I took my shot just then the white buffalo started walking towards me and  as  it was walking it was changing when it   came to where I was standing it was the old man  and there before us was a table as far as you could see of food and drink.
For that was the day my horse and I had died and we were standing at Heavens grace

I stated what  has bothered me over time
always hear just do things right.
   it could have  been my blindness
or facing my dismiss

  some  poems i place  carried dust until i opened them
some still  trying to come up

but a blinded artist can not see the beauty he  can create
unless  he opens his eyes for just a speck of time.
nor can a  musician  play  if he can not hear  the melody he plays.
nor can a heart beat if it is closed to whats out side or the mind work  with all of its realm  to truely show whats inside.
   i am not always going to be right    as much as some has wanted me to be

  but i am a person who still beleives in creativity.
time does play a role  anguish and pain if allowed takes the stage
    i am a friend that truly cares but left  stuck in the background because of someone else..
  i am the starving artist  who has many times been told my work needs a gallery  so i give it away  to those  dear and close to me.
    and now i am just a distant memory.   so i
vent

2/10/2014

my appologies for the previous poem" why".  i have had mixed comments else where but really  look at it, thats what  alot of people see. it isnt about me or even you we are all different,  the biggest thing is  lets just get along. an no longer push people into a corner   or  push away because they dont do exactly the way you or i do. i lost many of friends on both sides of this .  my  biggest  part about who i am  is i  have a heart and i care , i would bend over backwards to help and  there are many who  know that to be fact. some  walked away  as if i did them wrong.   i started getting very frustrated and angry. i even put down my artwork for  a while ,   and really it never needed to be this way. so again sorry if i offended anyone i just needed to vent  
alan

I didn’t leave to say goodbye, I left to stay alive
Every waking moment you’re on my mind, yes the distance greater
Way much farther; than what we both had planned.
Always come back we both have said many times along the way
Had I not left I would be homeless, near death. I already was thin skin and bone.
I didn’t leave to say goodbye, I left to stay alive.
Now you hate me, I question myself should I have stayed and died?
Or homeless, no work to be found for the cost to have a roof over my head
I didn’t leave to say goodbye, I left to stay alive.
I have stated and asked many times come with me where ever it will be my friend.
Come travel let’s see the places new to you and old to me, yet just as beautiful as our friendship is to me
Magic waiting in the leaves, I hope soon you will see.
I didn’t leave to say goodbye, I left to stay alive

Hello heart
just let go
you played your part

let that be your glory and shine for all to see
then start again
you are still beating
Hello heart
lets do it again.......
tommorrow

alan spivey 1/31/2014

from the past one message  in 21 poems
21 poems 6 thousand words
some shallow, some deep
no one can ever   go back to change these
but it   comes back to you in many ways
may be  in a flash or over a period of days.
even years.
nothing in order   ,  never is when  learning  new ways, and new things
  a lesson of what to or not to do  with this new you or me  
  each step is a new step it may take a few steps forward and a step back
and knowing  when to twirl    or to side step. or when to let go and when to catch.
it's a lesson of knowing  who we are inside before   the opening show
we are the writers of our own  and with that it takes time,   failures and growth  
from the past one message  in 21 poems
the message is different to everyone it may seem we travel the same path  each path is different in so many ways
from the past one message  in 21 poems
mistakes are made ,plans change uncertian dreams   but most of all just be you and welcome change.
from the past one message  in 21 poems
(start of   the new poems or writes) 2/22/2014 to the brighter future

I can't wake up
from this dream of everything grand until i take step
then i keep falling and falling
unable to grab hold of anything, unable to talk yell or scream
falling and falling
I can't wake up
I tried and tried
all I do is fall and fall
sometimes it seems so much easier to just end it all.
then maybe I can wake up from this dream that has encased me for so long
I keep telling myself you will wake up soon, its just a dream but the years pass by no ground in sight.
to talk but no words are heard , just the passing of the wind
as I keep falling and falling
is there no end , or am I just stuck somewhere inside a dream
I can't wake up I need to breathe i need to see it's just a dream
but I keep falling and falling
can't wake up

Just breathe

taking a break more stuff on my plate that needs sorted through.

However,  a friend of mine Mara Kennet look her up she is in here.
is a poet, writes childrens books, writes and produces  plays in Russian and Belarusian. She helped me write and granted mines not that great....
she is awesome ,If you understand  her languages she has a lot of stuff she has written. Coming from a friend you learn alot from her.

I tip my Hat off to you Mara  you are doing fantastic  , until later when things sort out once again. bye for now  
alan

If i didn't wake up one day
would my love
still wipe your tears
still keep you warm on cold cold nights
would my love carry you through  harder times
help you  along life's uneasy times
did my love  shine through
even  when i couldn't smile
from the pains i was going through
did my love  come through each time
i messaged
came to your side
when you asked for help
when  no one else was around
or really  showed much care
did my love show when i was there
i hope so, because i really needed  love my self
someone to say  i care , i love...
even when things went wrong
i needed some one there
all my life i felt alone
will my love show through  the hard , rough times
will it be enough
even if i am not there
and alone and single
If i didn't wake up one day
would my love
still wipe your tears
still keep you warm on cold cold nights
would my love carry you through  harder times
help you  along life's uneasy times
did my love  shine through
even  when i couldn't smile
from the pains i was going through
did my love  come through each time
i messaged
came to your side
when you asked for help
when  no one else was around
or really  showed much care
did my love show when i was there
Will it be enough?

How do you tell someone
how much they mean to me
how much i care
and love even through an old broken heart
  how do you tell someone
how special they are to me
the friendship is  cherished and very dear
how do you tell someone
i can ***** up big time
its the only way i learn to do things right
how do i tell some one  
their trust in me is golden
sacred
how do i tell some one
i learned to never make a promise
because more  gets broken than  just the promise
how to i tell a friend i still need  and want our friendship

(I left the poem unfinished)
How do i tell someone
I love them with all my heart
with out ruining their livesand relationships.
How do i tell them
Thank You
and im sorry i broke the promise and your heart..  

by alanspivey -