Silent winds break through my hair,
I watch you walk away through blurred eyes.
If only everything had been different then maybe.
I feel my body start to shake,
The weight resting upon my shoulders.
I hear your words repeating in my ears,
“I still love you, but it’s your choice.”

It was my choice,  
That’s why you’re walking away.
I can’t be hurt anymore;
I don’t want to know you for only the pain.
I can live with the memories, I can handle the separation,
I can’t know the future, what will become of this all.

To you I may look small and weak,
Desperate to pretend it never happened,
Wanting nothing more than to accept.
I can’t accept your choice, I didn’t make it, you did.
Wishing will only bring thoughts of loss and loneliness,
The “what if’s” will rise anger from within me,
Looking you in the eye and telling you just how I feel,
Brings terror to my heart and bones just at the thought.

The road in front of me is steep,
The choices I make will determine my path,
I carry a heavy load that I cannot bare,
I need strength to guide me,
A light for my feet and a peace to my fear.
I’ve always known of one but have never trusted,
Now is the time to fall into the unknown,
Put my faith into the unseen and just know,
Know that my strength comes from the One who gives life.

It was my choice, it still is.
Yours was made but more can still be made.
I choose to heal, to live and not dwell on the pain,
To love without retreating back to fear of what might come.
Scared of loss and distrust but also I hope for love,
Love can be healing and precious.
You will not skew my view of life,
I will move on. That is my choice.

Your words touch my ears
They say everything I want to hear
You make me feel like I’m the only one
Feeding my heart with your bait that’s hung
It’s only been a short time
And already you want what’s mine

I see the fire in your eyes when you look at me
Desiring only what the eye can see
Not what is in my heart and soul
But I can see your heart is black as coal
I step back and turn to leave
You catch me by my sleeve

You say those words that sink my heart
Those three simple words feel like darts
I see the desperation in your eyes
And realize all those words you said were lies
You only want somebody who needs you
You’re not somebody I can say I love you to

You try to pin me down with my own shame
Take my joy and bring me pain
The lies you whisper in my ear
Cannot deceive the hope I’ve found here

Safe in arms wrapped tight around
Your knives they twist the shroud of my gown
Your voice it drips with venom down
But my heart does not skip a sound

You will not take my hope and joy
My life is not yours to make a toy
I will hold on to my faith with steadfast strength
Knowing what happens to your fate

My weaknesses you seek to find
My hands and feet you try to bind
My body disheveled but my heart still beats
From ashes to beauty my story this meets

A tired and broken spirit found
By a love unending that cannot be bound
Your tricks and lies they end tonight
Though you may struggle, though you may fight

Safe in arms wrapped tight around
Your knives they twist the shroud of my gown
Your voice it drips like venom down
But my heart does not skip a sound

The morning brings headaches,
Black bruises, and stains
From long-soaking spills,
Crumbs ground into carpets by stumbling heels,
Meaningless messages scrawled careless on walls were
Written by bored ******* waiting to fall.
A cake is uneaten on the floor, overturned,
On the counter behind it the cutlery, spurned,
Is covered in *****, the
Price of a night spent
Waiting for comets.

i stay rollin' eyes and cuttin' ties
i gaze right through the bitter deceit in your lies
you're guilty as sin, right down to the core
i know it's true, i've never been so sure

my veins proceed to stiffen
i feel my stinging heart throb
you've become so drastically different
as if conforming is your job

as i sit by my lonesome
goosebumps buzz across my skin
it's as if there was a ghostly presence
that even tickled the peach fuzz on my chin

overwhelmed with sentiment
i sprang up from my theoretical hole
i let out a yell one could hear for miles
then i felt the universe swallow my soul

i stay rollin' eyes and cuttin' ties
i'll stay true to me 'til i stop seeing the sun rise
for i now know the extent of my suffering
hopefully soon this feeling will stop hovering

to this all, i owe you
my darling, my dear
for i never knew guile could ever be so clear

In dried-out marsh where footsteps lie,
Tracing steps and feet before,
Broken fence and ragged wire,
Brook and grass and harmony.

A field across the orange blaze,
Faithful cracks, surrendered branch,
Dimly grained and bowed in green,
Earth and hooves, informal dance.

A gallop halts in open air,
Squared, and chest apparent,
Perfect as my counted steps,
Alone he stands in distant stare.

A moment still I hold my breath,
Fixed and strong, he’s caught my track,
Hazel backed and scars to bare,
Solemn in a fragile glow.

Content in wayward solitude,
He does not trust my path,
Dark brown eyes and pointed pride,
Yearning for the evergreen.

In greying tips he stands his ground,
Loyal to the days gone by,
Speckled spots of brown and black,
A primal thud of cloven foot.

Stooped and still I hold his gaze,
Eagle-eyed he grants me time,
He listens fair with velvet edge,
And sees my flaws through dusty light.

A broken twig- he’s on his way-
Prancing through the deadened leaves,
Muscled buck and arrow flow,
Fluent as the river ebb.

My lens will capture sight and time,
But feeling, sounds and moments shared,
Something I would rather keep,
In mind and memory before I sleep.

Be reckless with your words to me;
incite, provoke, use words as lips
and teeth and hands and silk restraints.
Press them deep into my skin –
leave marks, leave late, and come again.