The world takes a turn for the worst
and it’s a little less safe
and that is to say
the danger that was there yesterday
grew a little stronger today

how many more lies
will fools swallow
before the find their own little girl
not a little girl anymore
but a ghost of who could have been
nothing more than a broken thing

broken by a boy just being a boy
who will grow into a man
believing he can take
whatever he wants
when ever he wants it
and that no
somehow always means yes

that being drunk
is a good enough excuse
for any one
with the right kind of money
and the right kind of name
the kind that comes
from being born
in the right kind of skin

the kind that believes
its culture is a good culture
a good culture
where boys will be boys
who grow into men who are men
who are nothing
but cruel monsters
pretending to be human

I still remember our first kiss
it was all of eternity
passing between our lips
it was wild flowers
blooming behind closed eyes

it was a field of dandelions
exploding in a windstorm
and then becoming
all the stars in the sky
and every star
becoming a wish come true

it was the first time I realized
heaven wasn’t a place
for the dead to go
it is a place for the living
it is here on earth
heaven is the sound
of a heart that stops beating
because it has
learned how to sing

that it is a moment
that goes by too fast
that stays forever
in our blood

and there it was
waiting on your lips
a lifetime of love
quite and trembling
in a single kiss

it is still there on my mouth
even though it has been years
since we last kissed
said our goodbyes
gone to our separate lives

I can still smell
the wildflowers that bloomed
in your eyes that night
I can still feel
your hand on my heart
I can still hear
you whisper “it's ok...”

it hurts a little now though
but it is still ok
it was a once in
a lifetime love
a fairy tale
my heart still sings

a dream time ago
that is still as fresh
as the sunshine
of your song

and I can’t help but smile
through the pain
because it was and is
the most beautiful pain of all

Is it too much?  The weight we have to bare
to accept being human, to take in all the bad
while trying to protect what little good we
have left
Is it too hard to accept?  All the ugly things
right at our doorstep, all the monsters
looking back from our mirrors
Children shooting children and all the parents
crying a day too late, we should have taught
them better
We should have helped them lift that weight
We could have taught compassion, nobility
and reason, instead we threw out food rather
than feed the hungry, taught hate and fear to
justify war after war
It isn't ****** if you're in uniform, minimal
loses of minimal lives
Is anyone keeping score?
Who can tell me whose god is winning?
Every side praying for better days while refusing
to find a better way
And it is too much and I cannot accept...
The weight isn't crushing me
The monsters don't frighten me
I just can't be human anymore

Back to where it all began
  before our first breaths
    before we knew fire
     before we knew blood
Before time had movement
  or meaning
Before our ribs
  our bones
   our skulls
Back to the empty sky
  of our souls
Yet to birth stars of sin
  and shame
   and fear
Back to the moment before
Dream became dream
  Dreaming
of dreams
  of dreams
   of dreams
Of rivers dreaming
Of fish dreaming
Of flight dreaming
Of birds dreaming
Of butterfly wings dreaming
Of feathers tied to the lost branches
Of the first dream of a tree
Dreaming of leaves
  Thirsty for the dream of a sun
     Which was desperate to dream
    Of the moon of all moons
Dreaming of the pale blue skin
Of dream becoming the dream
  Of the birth of blood
    and bones
      and life
Weaving the blanket of dreams
  That would become the flesh
    And truth of love
Back to the
  Heart of all things

The art of war is a canvas painted
with the blood of our children’s lives
it is paint dyed with the colors
stolen from their dreams and futures
that will never blossom or bloom

it is the chiseled marble
forced from the flesh
stripped from their bones

it is the shaped clay
from the hole in the earth
where their bodies will decay

it is the blind writing eulogies in Braille
for all the mothers who will never again
set their eyes on the sunshine
of their sons smile

it is the deaf writing songs
for fathers who will never again
hear the sweet sound
of their daughters laughter

it is the end of the road
for all those who are lost
waiting for the loved ones
who will never make it back home

there is no beauty here
death does not sing of glory
death does not smile
for the fresh and never ending harvest
from the art of war

death...
my heart breaks for you
what a terrible burden
we place in your hands

and for what?

pride?

faith?

country?

who is killing who
is killing who is killing

who made the enemy the enemy
of my brother
and my brother the enemy
of my brother
and my brother the enemy

in what womb was the cord cut
that once connected us all
in what field did hate start the fire
that turned the world
into “us” and “them”

from what heart did the cold blood
first flow into the finger
that squeezed the trigger
that drew first blood

whose life was lost
to the first brush stroke
of the art of war

How much time do we have left
Until we take our final breath
Why isn't it enough to know
Our time is finite
To protect the flame of love
Instead of fanning the fires of hate
To work for human needs
Instead of needless greed
Trading hands full of sand
For a fist full of dollars
But our pay is already spent
Before we even touch a cent
We can taste the foul stench
  as we inhale
Of a wick burning out our last
  bit of air

We have to strive forward with hope
no matter how hopeless it seems
or we lead our children into a life and world
where only nightmares and worry
rule as kings and queens

Music and poetry
Oils and paint
Blank canvas and
  empty stage
Pointe shoes and
  bare feet
The seeds of life and
  love just out of reach

I want to feel your
lips full of poetry
bleeding out a verse
of pleasure over
a rhyme of sin
with fairy tale eyes
whispering of secrets of lust
and promises for love
hold you until the end of time
and hang our story
from a branch
of the tree of stars
where beneath the roots
we will steal the crown
of butterfiles
and throne from
the queen of bees
and float down
the river of eternity
and dream of reading
each kiss we share
from your lips
full of poetry

The pit-pit-pat of the rain drumming on the roof
In perfect sync with the beat-boom-boom of my pounding heart
And my pen won't stop with its skrit-skrit-scratch
Writing down what I'm trying to hide inside
Easy to write and type
When It's hidden in plain sight
Three counts of silence
Three words I whisper
Before I fall into dreaming
Three words that strecth
From dream to dream
Three words repeated when
The morning yawns in
Three words echoed
In the chambers of my heart
Three words haunting my soul
Three words I'm longing
To let fall out
Three words
If I could only say
Out loud
And hand in hand
Standing in front of you
Three words in the pit-pit-pat
And beat-boom-boom
And skrit-skrit-scratch
Spelled out in poems
While dancing
Madly in my heart
And caught in
My throat
Leaving my breathless
Unable to speak
Three words

Its not the skin beneath your clothes
But the vibrance of your soul
That makes your heart so beautiful

I will always be yours
Although you may never be mine
But that will not **** my heart
Or chase my soul away
Your heart is numb towards love
I know
Your have days of darkness and  biting doubts
Whispers of failure and loathing echo through your ears
You can walk through a warm pleasent day
Yet your every breath fills your lungs with ice
And everything you do hurts
You could look straight to the sun
And your eyes would still only see clouds of misery
Somedays you have your reasons
And somedays this lifeless blanket just wraps itself around you
Tightly like it is your skin and your soul
Somedays are worse than others
Somedays are not so bad
Some even good
And maybe it wouldn't be so bad
If you just knew what each day would bring
Sunny tuesdays
Horrible saturdays
A black storm appointed
Every third thursday...
If it was predictable
Maybe... maybe it would be easier to bare...
Probably not...
But maybe if there was a why...
A why to the darkness
A why to the bricks in your hands
A why to the wall going up more often than down
A why to the whispers
A why to your lungs filled with ache
A why to the numb
A why to you crawling back into this pit
A why to the again and again
A why to you hurting
A why to you hurting yourself
A why for your loss of lust for life
A why to your reflection not being as beautiful as you actually are
A why to the silence breaking over the beat of your heart
A why to the whys...
But the days are unknown as to what you will wake to find
And the nights are unknown of when the monsters will whisper
Or the demons will be hiding under your sheets
Or what seeds of doubts the devil has placed under your pillow
To rot your dreams and your hopes
From within your sleep
And the whys only echo more whys and whys
And even the days you wake up to a smile
Or fall into pleasant dreaming at night
Not knowing how long it will last is the shadow stitched to your feet
The nagging question of how long before it hurts to breath again
The anxiety and fear of a bad day looming
Only brings the clouds more quickly
You have lost sight of yourself
And its hard to see yourself as anything
Anyone would be inspired by
Anyone would treasure
Anyone would call beautiful
Anyone would love
So you listen to the whispers and the doubts and the whys
And you brace yourself for a bad day
Instead of enjoying the good one you woke up too
And no matter how many times you hear it
Or are shown that
You are treasured
And beautiful
And inspiring
And that you are loved
You still find yourself crawling into your pit and your darkness
I don't have a cure
I don't have the answers to the whys
Because there is not always an answer
And there is no cure
Treatments works to a point
Pills often **** as many if not more than they help
But the greys of the unknown
Are darker than what little light is understood
What I do have...
Is my hand
And my hope
And my love
Every time you crawl into that hole
I will crawl down with you
I will burn my heart and soul
To keep your lungs warm
I will always be here
In the dark
In the hurt
In the doubts
I will always be yours
My heart will not die or break
My soul will stay by you
No matter the weather tomorrow
Or next week
Or at the end of time
I will love you endlessly
And expect nothing in return
My only purpose need be
To show you your light
And your heart
And your soul
To reveal your true teflection
Your true beauty
To show you
You are inspiring
You are treasured
Your are beautiful
And you are
Loved

You be the bee
And I'll be the honey
We'll stay busy
Busy busy
Living and loving
In that treehouse
Under the sea
You be the ocean
And I'll be the waves
We'll always move
Each other
And handle every storm
Laughing and crying
Never torn apart
You be the stars
I'll be the night
I'll catch every piece
Of you that falls
I'll never let you down
My soul
Your forever home
You be truth
And I'll be love
Meant to be together
We'll write our own fates
Happily ever after
Page after page
No end to our song
Our tale
Always fresh ink
On forevers
Mobius strip

she turns black thread
into silk verse
and writes poetry
with every sway of her hips
and the words linger
in the movement of a dream
and even the moon
can’t wear the night
as beautifully
as she wears that dress

I wish you were here notes
Tattooed  up and down my arms
Written in an empty coffee cup
On a lonely chair at the dinner table
On the empty couch with the tv off
Waiting on the extra pillow of my cold bed
Sleeping on the clock I can't stop looking at... almost 2:32 am
Sitting silently on my phone that doesn't make a sound
Little squares of paper with five words
Caught in this storm
Repeating repeating
  I WISH YOU WHERE HERE
And the largest note
  The deepest cut
Those same words
Carved across my heart

Come find me at the bottom
of a funeral pyre for the moon
between the hours of death and birth
where we will rearrange the flow of time
and wear eternity on a string around our necks
and we will unlock the forbidden flowers of lust
and paint dreams in the lost colors of impossible love
and find ourselves lost
under the seduction and song
of magic and madness
of the flames
of the funeral pyre
for the moon

It isn't the question of all men being created equal, it is the matter of keeping all men and women and children as equals.  Let none of us raise above and ignore those that have fallen down.  Pull them up by hand and by heart and shoulder to shoulder and head to head and eye to eye.  Let no one see themselves as superior or inferior, let brother aid sister aid mother aid father aid stranger aid friend aid child aid infant aid animal aid flower aid tree aid air aid nature aid all.  We are of one people of one planet of one land of one ocean of one love connecting us all.  It isn't a matter of religion or prayers or god or gods or faith or skin or color or heritage or race, in the end we know not where we go but only where we have been.  It isn't about the destination but the voyage we've travled both outside and in.  And both our history and blood have been tainted by hate and war and greed but yesterday doesnt have to repeat.  Let us not continue down the same road of crimes that cause only suffering and grief.  Take the hand of your sister holding the hand of your father holding the hand of your brother holding the hand of the infant being held by the mother holding the hand of your child holding the hand of a friend holding the hand of a stranger and let the raise of equality spread across this one land of one world of one love and find in unity we stand shoulder to shoulder and eye to eye and soul to soul and finally see there is no real difference between us all.  Let us voyage forever forward through kindness towards love.

The moon smiled and laughed
as it hung in a dark magenta sky over a blood red sea
burning with black flames
Dead mermaids brought the dreams of starfish
to the surface of the ocean
Hoping to pay their way out of their debt to love
The last and only thing keeping them chained
to the cold tides of fate
Their bones tired and weary
Their scales fallen off a fairy tale ago
and their hearts still faintly beating
No matter how hard they tried
and no matter how many dreams they collected
or how far they swam
They never could find their way to death
or a map to oceans end

The weather has the smell
Of tears in the air
And there is an empty
Sound breathing in the wind
The sea is singing of melancholy
And the birds are swimming
With maladies
The clouds with lines of silver
Have been poisoned by lead
And the hands of death are busy
Collecting all the bees
Time is borrowing from itself
And its bank account
Is nearly bare
The fairy tale of man ends in suicide
And the moon is cheering for our end

His body fell to the ground and his pulse slowed to a stop and the colors of life in his eyes drained to grey and the last bit of air exited his lungs and he laid there motionless and silent and his chest opened as if his ribs had been cabinet doors and his heart floated up into the sky and into the night and through space and back and forth through time and it was alone in the vast emptiness of it all and with all its scars and stitches and broken and missing pieces it hummed and it beat and it remembered...

it remembered the name in every stitch and every smile that had stolen and kept a piece of it and every heartache in the story of every scar and every love that had ever made it laugh and sing and dance and fly and it remembered all the joy and misery and failure and wonder and everything that had made its life worth living and somewhere inside it smiled

She was the art of beauty
perfected in human form  
and I was a helpless wanderer
lost in the pages of her fairy and magic
and her name was the birth of poetry
and her kiss taught flame and fire
how to dance
and her smile was the moon
and the sun and the everything
and the heart of love
beat in her chest
she plucked a black feather
from the night
and taught the raven how to fly
and the humming bird how to sing
she planted the first tree
from the last tear of spring
and carved the first leaf
from autumns skull
while telling stories to dragons and their young
and gave them a butterfly
with a map hidden in its wings
should they ever need to escape
to the safety of dreams
where she would be waiting
to teach starfish to fly
and planets to swim
and sculpting hearts
of wonder and clay
for whomever may need
something new
for something broken
and it would all be a dream
of a dream
and in the end
it would still be a love
of a love
as we all get lost
in the art of her beauty
perfected in human form

We can stand in front of a mirror and stare at our own faces, examining our teeth, our smile, our tears, and the endless reflection of our own souls gazing back at us from behind our eyes and question and ponder and weigh ourselves down with questions of self worth and over burden ourselves with self loathing and stare even deeper as we realize how small our bodies are compared to a tree or our houses or the buildings we work in and then we can  compare how small all those things are compared to the size of the earth and continue down this road as we look towards how massive our sun is to the earth but how even the sun is just a spec of dust in the vast cosmos and then wonder why are we here and what is it all worth and what does it all mean and for a moment maybe we're overwhelmed and nothing makes sense and it all seems meaningless.  I've been there, standing in front of that mirror, with tears running down my face and my self worth lying and rolling in the gutter with all my self loathing and I've stood there scared and depressed and everything else that is miserable.  And I've walked away from that mirror, either out of anger or fear or when I was all out of self pity sometimes I walked away out of hope.
Life at its very worst always has the potential to get even more horribly so, there is no  bottom when things are going from bad to worse... But it always has the potential to get better too.  We may seem small and insignificant when we compare our bodies to the vast cosmos that surronds us, but the love that lives within us is its own endless universe, quite possibly even bigger than all the space that surronds us.
Its not as easy to find and sometimes maybe we feel like this internal universe has kicked us out or won't let us in or for the truly unfortunate maybe they just haven't found the door, maybe they haven't gone mad yet and maybe they never will... but that's another heart breaking story for someone else to tell.
If you're one of the fortunate ones you've already found the door and walked through it,  if you were really lucky you fell through it or came crashing through it.   You know its a beautiful place, you know its a dangerous place, you know its easier getting here than staying here.  The life line of our bodies is finite and we never know how long or short it will be.  Love however has the power and possiblity and vulnerablity to be infinite.   We don't always (or perhaps ever) get to choose how or when or why we come tumbling through that doorway.  Sometimes we're idiots and we find ourselfs here and we either hide hoping to go unseen or even worse we try to get out,  we walk back out the door willingly.  And sometimes we get lost and the door can't be found and were stuck here...
Just like standing in front of the mirror, I've been through this door a few times, sometimes scared, sometimes hopeful, and when I've been really lucky I've been stuck.
I'm lost here now and I want to stay and I think at least some small piece of my heart must have been left behind and buried under some floor boards years and years ago because somehow its all familiar and my heart feels like its found its home

Tell me what does your heart see
when you say love
what do your dreams make
of this thing we call life
where are we going
where have we been
it’s not a matter of how long
but how well we have lived
what good is tomorrow
without doing something today
but an endless repetitive
reproduction of doing nothing
again and again
and time wasted is wasted
unless it is wasted wisely
with laughter and heartache
and whiskey and tears
and the kindness of strangers
tell me what does your heart say
lets build a better tomorrow
by starting something today

wrinkled velvet
  scratchy silk
a stain on the laundry list
   lazy verbs
     and mispronounced pronouns
language is a funny thing
  a vocabulary test
    on a lifelong joke
     with no punchline
strange how we can laugh
  at our own misery
or weep uncontrollably
  when we find our hearts
    overfilled with joy
it’s enough to make someone
  believe that maybe
   we don’t really know anything
     about all the things
       we pretend to know
personally I don’t pray
  to a this god
    or a that god
I have my faith invested
  in the wisdom
   of fairy tales
    instead of the studies
      of theology
but i do appreciate any conviction
  that leads someone
    to a life where they
      help compassionately
        give with generosity
          and love more kindly
what else do we have
  but this one brief moment
    this one long
     often agonizing
      brief pause of eternity
       to live this life in
why is so much worry
  about what comes next
    weighing down today
when none of us
  is guaranteed
   to see tomorrow
and what good is a future
  that ignores the rubble
    of the past
the absolute wreckage
  we have left behind
    in our human history
the truth of our mistakes
  has been whitewashed
   again and again
in every new volume
  of every new text book
rewriting villains as hero’s
  neglecting to write down
   their origins and crimes
there is a deliberate madness
  in this process
   an intentional poisoned thread
    placed in the binding
     of the pages
      the spine
       of the book
the truth is still there though
  bleeding through
   the page in braille
only being read by those
  who want to read it
those how refuse
  to let the truth
    of the past
      be replaced
       by a modern lie
but the masses consume
  faster than they learn
and we pride ourselves
   as intelligent
    crown ourselves
     as noble
arrogantly pointing out our ability
  of pattern recognition
while constantly failing
  at not repeating
   the pattern throughout
    our history
      that causes so much
        human misery
and I wish I could laugh
  but my heart doesn’t
   have the vocabulary
    to write a punchline
     in a language it just
      can’t find funny anymore

We flip reverse
Transpose and translate
Switch the words around
Theives and pretenders
Just dying with our time on earth
Heaven pounding in our hearts
And we only hear the hell drumming  in our ears
Love floating freely in the air
And none of us dare fill our lungs
Wasting our days away
Living in our shallow graves
Long before our flesh decays
Our bones already ground to dust
Slaves to sin
Just to make a wage
A pound of blood
For pennies on the hour
Flowers no longer bloom
Rotting roots in poisoned soil
The only things striving
The grease and the greed
Of the mighty dollar
And the gears of the war machine
Are none of us brave enough
To reverse and flip
Translate our disposition
Burn the dollar
**** the greed
Stop sacrificing our children
To the grease the gears
Of that ancient war machine
Heal the soil
Mend the flowers
Use our blood to sin
Wage to slave only for love
Dance madly with our bones
Fill our graves with dirt
Let our flesh live and ache and hurt
Use our days
To fill our lungs
Dare to love and love
And love
Listen and listen close
Hell and heaven pounding and beating together in the dark
Hey can't you hear it
As we walk our days on earth
Let us not pretend or steal
But give truth to love
And love to truth
By loving truthfully
And truthfully loving
Stop hiding
Start fighting
Stop stacking bricks
Around ourselves
Start throwing stones
At our jailers
Don't go with the masses
Dressed to the nines
But heads of *****
Mentally chained
To all think the same
Unable to translate
The silence
And switch the
World around
Doing the ***** work
For the crooks
And liars
Puppets for their
Masters
Drowning in the sand
Wasting fate
Hour by hour
As time flips
And reverses
Nothing changes
Nothing will
Until we brave
The darkness
Dare to
Dream
Break the
Chains of
Silence
And scream
With truth
And love
And love
And truth
Quickly
Before we're
No longer
Human

A cardboard bonfire and a Newcastle
I spend a lot of time alone
But loneliness only creeps in
When I'm around people with
Nothing important to say
If there's one thing I miss about my youth...
Is all the dreamers...
The dancers
The poets
The painters
The sculptors
The writers
The singers
The musicians
The believers....
What happened to all my dreamers....
Or is it what happened to me?

If I didn't love the privilege of fatherhood
I swear I would go off grid
and disappear deep into the forests
and become a sasquatch
with tiny feet

He is the sky full of stars
The stars full of dreams
A dream full of hope
A poem I will never finish

   writing
    
      or

   reading

He is the wonder of joy
The joy of life
A life filled with love
A love that will not end

   not today

   not tomorrow

   not ever

He is the music in my heart
The heart in my soul
The soul in my heart
A kindness that grows

   and grows

     and grows

He is everything in a sky full of stars
More than I could have dreamt
More than I could have hoped
A wish that comes true
again and again

   every moment

   of everyday

My lifes greatest privilege
My loves greatest joy
My son
The poem I will never finish

In my dreams I am still holding
Your picture
Unable to break away
Even in sleep
Still falling
Still fallen
Mad
Madly
Lunatic love
For you
As my eyes peel open
To a new day
A new day
A tomorrow
Spilling from the
Touch of your voice
Your spirit
Your heart
Your darkness
Your doubts
Your demons
Your hope
Your dreams
Your everything
My reflection eagerly waiting
To greet me
To show me
How beautiful
You have made my life
With each passing moment
Giving me more
And more
Mad
Madly
Lunatic love
Tears
Happy tears
Raining over my soul
Washing away the emptiness
And darkness
And yesterdays away
You are the song
You are the blood
You are the pounding
Of my heart
My heart pounding
So hard it feels
Ready to explode
Into a million tiny fragments
Only to then grow into
A million more hearts
All singing
All dreaming
All pounding
Their
Mad
Madly
Lunatic love
For you
My heart
My reflection
My hopes
My dreams
All throughout the day
All throughout the night
While sleeping and awake
They are all shouting
And whispering
And mumbling
And howling
To the moon
Of how
Mad
Madly
Lunatic love
I am in
LOVE
With you

Dead leafs in the grass
Candles flicker in the breeze
Dust scatters with each step
Roses had a funeral for the
  Lilies that passed away
While the orchids cried the
  night away
Over the snapdragons that
  never got to play
And blindly we keep going
Walking willingly in chains
Whats the point of breathing
When we march with the feet
  of the dead