My teeth crunch the brittle bones of
my arms as I bite through,
drinking in my own blood.
I am fervent and charged with
electricity and an insatiable hunger
to swallow myself whole.

I continue to chomp through my bones,
hoping that the self-consuming pain
that sits so deeply inside is
eaten away with the rest of me.

I then hold my heart in my hands,
turning it over and over,
feeling how plump and ripe it is.
Then, I bring it to my lips
and sink my teeth into the
flesh, feeling it break open and
ooze deliciously down
the back of my throat.
I continue to consume
myself until all my pain
is
gone.

What is the point of trying
when we are bound to fail?
Why do we have that terrible
jolt of hope
when we know our chances
are next to none?
I think it's because
human beings enjoy
pain. Loss. Failure.
We enjoy the thrill of it.
The sting and the burn.
Why?
Because of the pity that we attain.
All we really crave is attention.
Not love or understanding
but for our lives to be the
saddest, the most miserable
of them all so we can achieve
pity.
Is it worth it?
Is it worth going through all
that terrible and gut wrenching
pain that stings in our eyes
and our hearts
just to accept a warm smile
a baked casserole,
or a simple hug?
Are we really
so delusional that we
think this so called
"love" will fill that
empty, dark and deep
void that we carry so
far down inside?
Yes.
We really are.

When we were little
you held my hair back
from my ear as you
gently breathed:
"I will always be here
to catch you when you fall."

But here I am,
Falling.
Falling so fast
my insides swell and
ooze from my
ears, nose and mouth.
So fast my heart
becomes lodged tight
in my throat.

I'm waiting for you
to pluck me from the air,
hold my hand in yours
and stand me back up
to teach me to walk again.

But you left me
here alone
and the concrete
begins to loom
ominously below,
and I fall to the
impending smack
and splatter of
my brains.

The cold ground
greets my face,
crushes my skull,
snaps my neck
in two.
My teeth shatter.

My brains pile in a
pillow under my head.
Then, every bone in
my body snaps.
Jagged pieces of these
bones poke through
my pallid and paper thin
skin,
and yet..

Somehow,
my heart still pumps
hard in my throat.
I start to fall unconscious
when I see your feet
approach my broken body.

You pick me up,
slide my brains into place,
force me to swallow
down my intestines
and you glue my
bones back together.

Then you reach down
my throat,
grab my heart,
and place it back into
the center of my chest.
Next, you walk away.

You leave me
but this time I am
not void of your presence.
This time, when you leave,
I'll see you again.
All I have to do,
is
fall.