Too close to the sun
he flew
Too much
I wanted from you
The earth waits to catch us
as we tumble towards it
the sea winks and waves
the hills cup their hands
the trees raise their arms
I close my eyes
ready for the impact
But the sun is burned
to brightly onto my eyelids
the fatal embrace of the ground
cannot make me forget
the brightness I have known

They turn me inside out again
blank pages flutter to the floor
They have to shake me
in order to free the few pages
that I held dear
they were stuck to my hands and caught on my heart
"Why won't you let these go?"
they ask
"They are just empty pages"
I let the ink fall from my eyes
"You can't fill something up if it isn't first empty"

I like to run and
let my feet stomp over my thoughts.
If I could,
I would unleash a stampede of cows or wildebeests.
My memories would be rendered to a pulp.
And my dreams might be sufficiently squashed,
that they would think twice
about rising up into the thought bubble
of reality
that floats innocently, glowing above my head
in my dark room.

no, No, NO the maestro said,
like the eulogy we sang for the Northmen
It is a bit of a sad day,
especially today.
He finds it soothing to hear a sad song,
his son is dead, you know.
Make it melancholy!
This is a man who has been
freighted by loss,
let us do his suffering justice.
Sing it again and make sure it is
laden with loss.
Such a sad song
and so comforting.
Comfort him!
Play him the
Troubles of this World
and make sure all of the notes are
burdened with loss,
Heavily.
no, No, NO.
it goes like this:
trouble,  hardship,  difficulty.
These are the chords of sorrow,
you would do well to learn them.
But three years is no time at all.
It takes much longer than that
to fully lose one's child.
Come creatures,
An orchestra cannot conquer
the sound of his sadness.
He won't hear us yet.
Can't you see that he is not listening?
He thumbs through memories and pictures,
La vita breve he whispers.

I run towards
unmoving iron sky and
Grey steel waves
Feet hammering cold, hard sand
Like nails, each footstep
is placed with precision
Hammers and nails don't change the flat sand
It was built and compressed
by the weight of a thousand waves
Too cold for bare feet
but I can't feel the cold because I am almost flying
almost but not quite
like a bird that can't be brave
I just wanted to find the emptiness
Sky
Sea
Sand
my eyes capture it,
more effectively than any camera
When I close them the picture I took of the sea
is engraved delicately on my eyelids
my lips taste the iridescent salt spray on the breeze
My heart is grey not yellow or blue
It belongs to the ocean
Where I can feel as deep as I need
and want as much as I want to
I look back to see if you are following
But you are trapped within a cage of humanity
Set yourself free
Why can't you just run after me?
I know where I am going
I show you the pictures on my eyelids
and put them in frames for you
But you don't even care
About chasing the horizon,
about where I have been
So I run faster
My bare feet are more effective
than your shoes

Inadequacy
rains down on me
I put up my umbrella
but I can still see
all of their faces
peering through the raindrops
they wonder
"is this her?"
I drop the umbrella
let their poison
wash over me
because I will be
MORE
more anything
more everything
whatever they see
I'll know that
underneath
I am More
They may still wonder
and stare through the glass
but they will know now
that yes
Yes, this is her
and she is more...
Something

And so this is the end.
But in the end,
It was like they said:
Sweeter than most.