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 Jul 2013 Aiko oller
dj
bored faced, roaming the neon panels
I've got my backpack & wallet
I've got my self

25% off faces looking bored at me
weird convo's about the government
and TV shows litter the bell jar mall

the mannequins look down at me

bored faced janitor
bored faced mom & kids
bored faced teenager working the CD store

the infinity mall echoes
a muffled boredom roar

the mall is everything to everyone
"whatever you want"
"how can I help you"

*I want to go home right now
She was a whirlwind.
A beautiful flurry of kindness and compassion and sympathy stitched on the wings of an angel never meant to touch the ground.
She was a woman whose outstretched hand reached out and touched the lives of many like droplets of paint on a white canvas.
She inspired, recreated.
She molded her children to become what she was - maybe to become what she always wanted to be.
But she was everything. She was the best she could be.
But the best was not enough to protect her from falling onto that hospital bed. The best doctors. The best nurses. The best medicine.
The best was not enough to heal her pain.
The morphine which ran deep through her rich veins and engulfed her was not enough to cure her from the ****** aching in her.
The oh, shuddering throbbing that raked and wracked her body. The throbbing that shook the empire inside her, knocking down the little soldiers in which supported her and made her who she was.
And all this. This hurricane unfolded, as the children she made stood by and could only watch in anguish.
In regret, her son slams his fist against the grainy counter, tears like floods erupting as if a dam had been broken inside him.
"I'm losing her!"
He screams and shouts, throat raw with emotion.
As her daughter can all but stare, a string seconds away from snapping and back lashing like a flashback of her mother playing in her head, slapping her in the face back into reality.
Because just a month ago, in the sweltering heat of June of 2011, her son had graduated high school. He did his best.
And her daughter graduated middle school. She did her best.
Their mother was proud, clapping loud and clear through the faces of those in the crowd who did not matter to her children.
But the best did not save their mother.
No text book or diploma or certificate from the children or degrees or credentials from the doctors could cure her.
The woman laying in the practically snow white hospital sheets with the eerie beep beep beeping of the only lifeline she had was not saved.
By the best doctors, the best nurses, the best medicine.
Not even the kids she considered the best things in her life could do much, either.
However,
She was my mother.
She was the best.
Just something a bit personal. I wanted to try my hand at something like this, haha.
 Apr 2013 Aiko oller
dj
Fish Blood
 Apr 2013 Aiko oller
dj
not on a lvl
with the rest of animals
(offended I'm sure)
an echo of prejudice

flailing on deck; fishnets, I guess,
are a sort of
birthmark
could you fix me a joint
get me high
get me some pills
in fancy colours
some snow
get me high
or a syringe
full of heated escape
from my magnificent ego
would you let me drown
with you?
Don't be mistaken. I don't do drugs. Neither do I plan to. This poem is about wishing that, as a contrast to mundane and rule governed reality,  it would sometimes be possible to let go....
 Mar 2013 Aiko oller
Roselyn
Who am I
this runs though my head
haunts my every thought
maybe it just haunts me
am I real
am I fake
am I that person who others want around
or am I that person no one likes

am I letting this fear, control me
or is it just haunting me
waiting for me to snap
or to crack under pressure
to summit to it

I try to fight back
but all I see are the cracks
the cracks around me, just waiting to snap
so I'll fall down
so I'll relapse
and crawl back
to that insecurity
to that question
that I always ask
Who am I
 Mar 2013 Aiko oller
dj
tunnel vision life
everything happening far away
backwards telescope
high school prom
pink & blue balloons

I walked through those doors
off the devil's wagon
like a poltergeist I was either
invisible
or a painted blood red target

Alone in the hallways
they laughed at me
a wasp-like
******
entombed in toilet paper
spit & magic marker
they didn't hate me,
they got me to hate me
everywhere I went their
gummy bioengineered shadow stalked
it was stuck on me all those years

like a bucket of pigs blood to the head
that I could never wash off

but I'm not that loser anymore
Don't worry, dea  r
Lo ve me.
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