At the beginning of your junior year, you will become a different person. Someone you wish you never met. You will wish you didn't know their name. Because a name gives identification. And you don't want to identify with this person. You're going to miss the old you because this person you have become, this is not you. It will be painful. You are sorry. All the time. You apologize for existing in your own skin. A skin that holds your body together when you wish for it to decay. Living like this will exhaust you. You will not know. You will miss the innocence. You will miss looking out your window and admiring what you see. Instead you will be wishing for the will to walk over the edge. At night, you will see your reflection in the dark and you will question who is the person looking back. You will question how it got to be like this. How it got to be this awful. You will miss your energy because it has been ripped out of you. Because it takes energy to stop yourself from making a sound as you cry in your bed at 1AM. It takes energy to sob out loud in your car on the ride home. You will be confused. You will not know what you have. You will be afraid to admit. You tell yourself this is not who you are. You promise yourself it will change. But you will break every single promise you make to yourself. Because you will not be strong enough to keep any of them. But you will change. Listen. This is not you. This is someone you wish you never met.