Sometimes I feel
like an imposter
A self constructed collage
of my favorite bits
of other people
I wonder
if those I admire
are constructed as well
out of those they place higher

Fear
seeps into my brain
when I think of leaving this world
having done nothing of importance,
having made no difference at all
I wonder
Is it too late for greatness?
To push through the pain?
Is it vain to still pray
they’ll remember my name?

Sometimes I bleed
in the form of tears
for the memories
I can no longer recall
I wonder
if they’re stored somewhere
tucked away safe
resurfacing only at the smell or sight
of something lost
I’ll fight
to not lose them again

When I reminisce
about the many spaces
my atoms have occupied
I wonder
Who occupies them now?
Are there fragments of me that still remain?
Moments in time that stayed the same?

I wonder
blossom,
grow and change
I deconstruct
And then start again

Degraded
Downgraded
My ego deflated

Configuration education
Sleepless nights
Memorization

Going for Great(ness)
So please pardon my lateness
to your parties outside
because I can't escape this

Evacuate
Evacuate
My breath escapes
Resuscitate

Tell me
What will you do
if I am not OK?

sometimes there is no closure
though it makes your heart rupture
and your blood scream
you must close the door yourself

I wonder if occasionally
we gaze up
in synchronicity
at the same night sky
as we lead
our own separate lives

she will not be your
afterthought
your quarantine hit of dopamine

she deserves melodies
not staccato notes
pecked upon piano keys
by hands you’ll never let her hold
without recoiling

she deserves poetry
not slippery lines
dripped from lips like water
running
from a broken faucet

she knows better
she knows
running
is the only thing
that broken things
know how to do

how can it be
that a chapter
so surreal to live
feels
so surreal to leave
?

I wonder if the
leaves fear the autumn
of their youth in the same way
that I fear mine Or if they fall
in confidence shedding dead
weight and faulty fears

they’ve

held

to

all

this

time

wine so sweet
at twenty- three
has since turned to water
that tastes of concrete

and I can’t turn back time
like I can no longer find
a backroad to take home

take me home.

Equal parts with you
and without
How many more choices
till our chances
run out

Jump with me now
I don’t care if we break
But you don’t

so I won’t

She needs love
of a cosmic capacity
Something seventh level,
extraterrestrial

For she feels
this vessel
of flesh and bone
is a temporary home
she will molt one day
to break free
to higher ground

tentative
they tip toe
around the question
neither asks
for neither wants to know

There are moments
When fire touches ice
Places
Where Earth meets sea
And all improbability
of Man and Woman
Melts away
Each time you sing to me

a familiar game
catch and release
never for always
never for keeps

new beginning
different company
won’t change the end
the inevitable flee

Dominance
Submission
Power and control
The nauseating
push and pull

Attachment
to the waves
that drown me

deeper

darker

down

below

shrapnel
little shards of glass
hardly a threat at a distance
red flags and warning signs
not to come closer
you know the closure
will sting like hell
but you put yourself
time and time again
right in the line of fire
these tiny heartbreaks all add up
til you bleed out all desire
to clean yourself off
and go out to war again

Perhaps I’m but a puzzle
Pieced together
Entirely
of those I’ve lived for
Those I’ve loved
And those that loved me

Sensations stir
that haven’t in some time
A familiar feeling
forgotten far behind

Pin ****** tickle
What once was numb
You remind me
what I like about myself

Black hands
as deep and rich
as her history
Carry white bags
full of groceries
and burdens
she shouldn’t have to bear

he is perfect
in almost
every way
except
he is not you

a silky black shirt
that had slipped

from her shoulders
was all that kept him

from the rest of the world