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 May 2013 AGrace
Camilla
Whisper
 May 2013 AGrace
Camilla
If I let you hold me
For a little longer than you should
Will you want
(And want a thousand times)
To simply
Tenderly
Hold me?
 May 2013 AGrace
Camilla
I have a friend.
I think most of us do.
My friend is not like any friend I have ever seen.
My friend cries when he holds me and looks me in the eyes as he says "I love you more than everything".
He does love me more than everything.
I can't remember ever seeing so much love in someone's eyes.
Except maybe my mother.
My friend has two little planets on his face. His planets are the place where I see his love.
His planets look at me and when they do I feel extremely embarrassed.
I don't want him to look into my planets and discover something that I am unaware of.
He knows.
 May 2013 AGrace
Max
one day i was talking to my little sister.
she asks me if i was ever depressed.
i tell her yes.
her eyes widen and her lips are mouthing 'why?'
'babe, i'm transgender.'
'is that it?'
so i begin to explain to her the things i feel.
i tell her how everyday i can't wait to get home
and slice open this body i don't know
with a razor from a convenience store.
i tell her i don't know how to act like
a girl for mom and dad, but apparently
i do a **** good job because they
don't notice i'm not.
i tell her that for fourteen years
i've wanted to cut my hair short
and never have to wear a skirt to church again.
i tell her about the pain and fear of
going into a public bathroom.
i tell her about the looks the kids at school give me
and the shoves from behind
about the **** binders and
the locker rooms.
i tell her that i don't know what they
want me to be, and if i can be it.
i tell her all i want is to be called 'he'
and feel like they mean it.

she pauses and gives me a look that says
even though she's too young to understand,
she does.
'i've always wanted a brother.'
 May 2013 AGrace
FeelMyFeelings
She gets everything,
No matter what it is,
She gets
Whatever, Whoever,Whenever,
It’s not fair to the people,
The people that actually have to work,
Work toward what they want,
Work toward what they need in life,
Then there’s always,
That one person that comes along,
Not even moving a finger,
But she takes it all,
I wish I could be like her,
But no,
She’s too pretty without
Even trying,
She’s a ***** but,
No one cares,
She has the perfect body,
And eats what she wants,
Tell me,
How do I become her?
 May 2013 AGrace
Naima Mungai
This is the voice of the face at the mouth at the heart of that woman
This is the tear of the smile in the chamber where she lost her soul
This is the hate from the love drawn deep in the well where she stores her hope
This is…

It is what I make it,
It is what she wills it to be
My nemesis, my lover, my judgment, my retribution

This will say that I do not care,
That I never did and I probably never will.

This will write that I do not love,
Nor hate, nor cry or laugh
Not in this life time,
            the one before nor the one after.

This will decide that I am
Haunted by hate,
            by my apathy,
            by my indifference.

This might touch you or loose you,
This might move you or change you,
But it cannot show you me
You will show you me
You will show me-me
My self, my disgust, my filth, my dirt
How?
In your eyes,
In how quickly you turn away when I walk by
In how soon you will forget my name
In how much you will disown
Me, disown my words, my feelings, my hurt.

And yet I am drawn
To still do this
To reach out, to play, to hurt, to maim

I am sadist,
Narcissus
Alone
Yet I still


Rock forth
Rock back
See in, see without
Look,
Touch,
Feel,
Yet what does it mean?
What do I invite?
Who am I now?

I do not know this person
Do not feel them

Think
Think
Think about man
Long, hard, hate
Think about life
Pain, alone, death
Think about love
Left, hurt, tears

Alone please
Shouldn’t be touched by me
Bad spirit
Bad heart

Do I know why this
            is interesting
            hand hurts now
            stop.
 May 2013 AGrace
Emma Butterworth
I shed tears for you at the beginning
Never ceasing to miss you
I felt the pain of losing you in the middle
Hurting myself and others around me
In the end, I felt nothing
The numbness carrying me away, on a cloud of nothingness
 May 2013 AGrace
brendan
Push off from the bottom, flailing towards the top.
Air bubbles around you eloquently pop.
Fluid covers your body, feet are weighted down, swimming with your shoes on is a good way to drown.

You see us from down there don't you?
Our faces turned and distorted from the new view of reality, refracted light revealing the truth.
When you reach the surface will you believe what you see?
Swimming with your shoes on makes it easy to flee.

You finally make it to the rocky bank where your face lay cold.
Your breath is shallow, just as where you lay, and your heart is deep, but dark as the end of day.
You look up to see a smiling face reaching to help.
You knock it away and steady yourself.
The smile surrenders as you dry off.
You squish with each step.
Swimming with your shoes on leaves your feet pruned and unkempt.

And now you're alone, with everyone around.
you take your shoes off and feel the damp ground.
Perception of time slowly sinks in.
You are not living but alive, not pale but rosy red skin.
feeling flood in, but are they welcome yet?
You cope with the pain, and curse the sight of joy.
Which one is harder, swimming with your shoes on or being their toy?

— The End —