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 Jun 2013 Aggie Fredette
Ai
We smile at each other
and I lean back against the wicker couch.
How does it feel to be dead? I say.
You touch my knees with your blue fingers.
And when you open your mouth,
a ball of yellow light falls to the floor
and burns a hole through it.
Don't tell me, I say. I don't want to hear.
Did you ever, you start,
wear a certain kind of dress
and just by accident,
so inconsequential you barely notice it,
your fingers graze that dress
and you hear the sound of a knife cutting paper,
you see it too
and you realize how that image
is simply the extension of another image,
that your own life
is a chain of words
that one day will snap.
Words, you say, young girls in a circle, holding hands,
and beginning to rise heavenward
in their confirmation dresses,
like white helium balloons,
the wreathes of flowers on their heads spinning,
and above all that,
that's where I'm floating,
and that's what it's like
only ten times clearer,
ten times more horrible.
Could anyone alive survive it?
sometimes I feel like
theres no beginning
to losing and winning
all those people who are
dying and grinning
like the first few lines to a poem
read them so much you get to know them
thats what peoples hearts can be
if you polish them so they're all shiny
and hold their picture up to the skies
find yourself tasting the tears in your eyes
and think about how much ur missing
those cheeks you'd be kissing
and you stand there reminiscing
realizing all those years considered lost
where only true love with no cost
and thats the moment you turn around
thinking about what  you had found
and you make up your mind
that love shouldnt be timed
so you open the door
to the one you adore
I am mad within my own mind
I have come to insanity
there is nothing that can save me
call the exorcist
defile the demon that is within
destroy what need no longer be living
there is a monster within my soul
gnawing on my very flesh
chilling me to the bone
inside me is a witch
crafting her evil right inside my brain
the voices they tell me to wait and die
there are maniacs inside my ears
and lunatics on my tongue
speaking evil words for me
tonight i banish them away
let the choir and angels sing to me.
Last Night I dreamt
As most often do
It was so very vivid
I could've sworn it was true
I sat up and gazed around
At the morning in my home
A little voice whispered in my head
I was not alone
So I laid back down
I took a deep breath and then
Closed my eyes to think back
To the Dream and where I'd been

I sat alone with Van Gough
So I could watch him paint
His life splashed upon the canvas
So he could forget his pain
The world seemed to disappear
As he he sat with a brush in his hand
He wasn't called mad by a world
That refused to understand

I stood beside Hemingway
With a strong drink in my hand
He told me stories of his life
Of war, women and Cuban Land
A large smile sat on his face
As he spoke and forgot about his strife
I drank his scotch and thought
Could I be as great in my life

I laid beside Elizabeth Short
And I watched her as she lay
I heard her speak of fame and stardom
And that she would know it one day
With stars in her eyes, she told me
Her name would be known far and wide
And it pained me to know
That she'd be known for only the way she died

Then I sat back and gazed upon all three
With which I had shared my time
I took their words to heart
And stashed them within my mind
I could be like Van Gough
And focus my pain and fear onto the page
My blood is ink and I can wield it
Like some unholy Mage
I could be great like Hemingway
Forever destined to destroy myself
I could hit the top of the pile
And drown out the future with top shelf
I can be like The Dahlia
Forever dreaming of the day I'll be known
Chasing fame until the end
When my final fate is finally bestowed
 Jun 2013 Aggie Fredette
B
Love is a word
not often used
hastily abused
to seperate fuse
and confuse

To acquire power
or regain
a wilted flower
love takes hold
and the reigns
of reason
are snapped
by its control
no longer in control
you use the word
to reacquire
lost desire
in your partner

love is loaded
who has the gun?
and talking about love
like inspiration from above
but really
just using the word
to feel safe

when push goes to shove
who do you trust
to use the word love

say it at the same time
on the count of three
it never comes easy
the word love
can be misleading
through cheating
when it gets heated
what do you say

what they always say

love
finds its way
 Jun 2013 Aggie Fredette
Cia Says
May I not forget
The way skin feels
Beneath the wake of my hands
Smooth
Sympathetic to the touch
Rolling
Gliding
To the rythem I choose
My hands envelope you
causing parasympathetic response
Beneath my finger tips
Relaxing you to the fullest
A gift to me
a gift to you
Let me feel
Let me give
let me love
May I not forget
The way skin feels
Beneath the wake of my hands
A fiery breath is gone into the cold,
And I stop to think,
This could never grow old.
His touch is laced with perfect bliss,
A kiss, a smile,
I could get used to this.
I hold his hand, I hold on tight,
Nothing, no nothing,
Could ruin this night.
But here they come, its an army they've formed,
No kiss, no smile,
Could stop this storm.
The letters we send have to be enough,
And when they day comes,
It will be enough.
The passion in a lovers heart,
Grows warmer and warmer
When its torn apart.
So we'll sing loud proud and true,
When all these storms,
Lead me back to you.
The love I shared with this young man is one I cannot compare to anything else.
The love my mother has for me has never been questioned.
The love my father has for me has never been questioned.
However it is these people who should see the beauty in this love who have torn it into a million pieces.
Someday I'll forgive, but I promise I won't ever forget.
Love is powerful and takes time.
I'm young, I'm brave...I guess I'll just have to take mine.
 Jun 2013 Aggie Fredette
JR
painted lines on a map
tracing our travels
our dreams
yours in blue, and mine-
mine a vibrant, rosy red
miles apart - so close to my heart
occasionally
and more than once
the lines crossing
entangled
exchanging
tying knots
full of memories
a touch here
a smile there
two words
whispered nothings in my ear
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