You're a red rose.
Bleeding sympathy.
Craving love,
learning growth,
seeking beauty...

Tonight,
I will drink.
I will swallow the pride away.

Will you sing the stress away for me?

It's 3'clock in the morning and I still have a little left in my glass.

A bowl of cashews spell out 'You're a ******* mess' on the kitchen counter...

Oh god,
The sweet burning amnesia fills my brain,
I want to forget this night as if it never existed.

I want to forget why I am even on this Earth.

Take a shot with me as I forget it all.

It's hard to stay employed in that position.
Sometimes you quit.
Sometimes you get fired.
Business isn't always booming.
This one guy I met, reintroduced me into that job.
It was like I was connected again. What it felt to be light again.
Every now and then I think about him.
It was magical; like stepping onto wet grass.
Feels different.
Get knots in your stomach and chilled with goosebumps.
It makes you bite your lip.
He tested me,
quizzed me,
studied me,
questioned me,
when he'd hear my voice over the phone, he was inquiring.
To find someone who connected with you but couldn't keep the job, hurts.

RJ,
thank you for teaching me that the love was very young.
I know you go by Robert now, my bad.
We didn't know what we were doing,
but you were so sweet to me I thought it was love.
I realized we're better as friends,
that bond never broke and I thank you for that.

Kuma,
thank you for making me realize that age does and doesn't matter.
I was so naïve,
so immature.
We were on two different scopes of the world.
I grew up quick with you though,
you matured me enough to know I had to leave.


Taee,
thank you for being fun with me.
I know I was never fully emotionally there,
so I thank you for doing what you did and only staying for that time.
It showed me we were better as friends,
from afar.
I have no bad blood towards you.

Bronte,
thank you for giving me the knowledge of a relationship.
Teaching me that stubbornness gets me nowhere.
I fell in love with you as well,
which broke me even more.
So I thank you for leaving so I can know my self worth and that I really do not need to keep you around in order to be happy.

Jacek,
thank you for the being the sunshine after the rain.
I needed it.
Knowing I was hurt,
you came around and gave me the freedom I needed.
We were never an item,
but you helped me realize I didn't need to be an item to have fun.

Allyn,
thank you for showing me there's chill people in this world I can vibe with.
Even though we were short-lived,
I thank you for being the old soul I could kick it with.
You left,
but that gave me hope that there's someone like me out there with an old soul.
I am not mad at you anymore, I took heed in this.