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Alexander Coy Apr 2016
A close friend of mine was enthusiastic about his upcoming botany project;
he wanted to show me what he had learned so far;

the anatomy of a flower, a rose, a tulip, a daisy
a lily, a Poinsettia...

As he was talking I couldn't help but
interrupt his silly game of catch
with a hearty laugh

I said people don't want to hear about the inside
of something so beautiful, so perfect, so clean

They want the illusion, the absolute, the ideal!

After a couple of hours
of hand motions, direct eye contact
and awkward body language
I finally managed convinced the man to quit school,
and take up poetry.

That was 2 years ago from today.

Last I heard of him,

He was roaming around
some small city in France,
managed to use what little money
he had to phone me
and tell me poetry was the best thing
since American sliced bread.

He is now a starving artist
that goes by the name of

Hawthorne l'bouffon.

Keep a lookout on his collection of poems

entitled: A Life Worth Leafing.
Alexander Coy Oct 2016
she's
got a tattoo
of the alkaline
trio logo;
the heart
and skull
by the crease
opposite of her
elbow

she does acoustic
renditions of
90's punks songs
in the backrooms
of cafes around
the shady parts
of town

i'm not a fan
but an innocent
bystander

pierced by
bullet
and blade

hands cupped
over my ears
pleading
for the sound
to finally fade away

i just work here
and can't
handle it anymore

i get called
an *******

but i can live with that
Alexander Coy Apr 2016
Silly me. I thought I had a choice.
I assumed, like most people do, that
I could put pen to paper
some other day, perhaps
during an hour of peace,
or once I've had my
first, second, third
fourth cup of coffee

or wait till later on
when the sun crashes into the
earth exploding dawn everywhere
golden beautiful like *****

one beer, two, a shot of
whiskey, a few puffs of the cigarette
walking back and forth
mumble here and there

My roommates talk over each other

Moving on

Let's put it off till another day
My muses take their turns on me;
a ******* of creativity
So much possibility, and emptiness
is an illusion; the ego is the *****
for the masses

And I shut the door
rock back and forth
I am nothing, be something,
everything hurts and more


It comes to be,
whatever it is,
it comes to be
all that's all there is

It comes to be without me,
these hands, this vessel
the breath, the life
I live, it just comes to be

Silly me. I thought I had a responsibility
I assumed, like most fools do, that
this life was mine, and these actions
were the inevitable outcome of freewill

I'll go to bed,

and the night blends
like half and half
into the morning's
grief
Alexander Coy Apr 2016
There is darkness, and then there is utter darkness.

In this pristine atmosphere I have crossed my legs, clasped my hands and placed them in between openings. My eyes follow suit. I am in the pyramid black and yet I don’t feel lost. I am here amongst the burning wild bushes of thought. These are fires dying animals gravitates toward. In this day and age, we long for more fires rather than water to nurture our dried out hearts.

There’s a drought.

I try not to feed it. And so I stay here, not perturbed in the least. What was I thinking? A beautiful young girl all the way in Afghanistan. I’d like to hear her whisper sweet nothings into my ear. No. Wait. I think I can hear the bombs now. A voice that slithers through nearby carts rushing past on freshly built railroads. A trainstation of the mind.

Often, I feel my body contorting itself into the youthful rage I once loved. And by love, I mean grew truly comfortable about. Comfort is a great ecstasy.

I am no writer.

I have no motive.
Alexander Coy Nov 2016
the coming days are like
a tidal of white walls

as children, my brothers
and i used to put our
crayons and markers
at work

i wrote my name
in cursive on my
wall, my brothers

drew big circles,
then little circles within
the big ones

and we stood back
like a live audience
with our mouths
agape

there was no such thing
as constructive criticism
at the time; 'yours
*****' seemed
to suffice

but even then,
that got boring

had i known i could
have had a hand in
shaping a sibling
into a spray paint
tagging maestro

i would have said:

i see what you're
trying to do there,

it's a human
being plastered
across a blank
sky

give it some life,
a little color;

like you are
handing over
a full heart
to all that empty space
Alexander Coy Aug 2016
I'd give you all the passwords
to every account I've made online
if I knew for sure
there wasn't already a way
to access them

I'd prefer to shed
light on every dark
secret of mine if it
kept you close to my
mind, trapped
for all time

We're tangled
knots of misfortune;

such is the fate
of rosebuds
with sharp
emerald veins

And here I thought
we'd make it further
then I ever dreamt possible

Past the threshold
where the sun
greets the unknown
and shines a light
upon it

as though

it were never lost at all.
Alexander Coy Jul 2016
Hello to everyone,

I suffer from an
paralyzing case
of shyness,

Hello from inside of my head;
I want out, but is
there an escape from within?

Let's greet each other
like the dusk and dawn;
before Time splintered
us into separate halves;
before Space
arrived
and took
everything away

Hello, I see you noticed
the tears streaming down my face;

It doesn't give you the right
to ask me what's wrong
or if I feel
any pain

But would you just stay
anyway?

At least until the voices
become silent
whispers at the end
of this deep
dark
cave

Hello, self
it's been a while
since we last talked;

and if I remember correctly,
it was about

how much a oneway ticket
to hell would

cost.
Alexander Coy Oct 2016
body's built
to starve, late night
accusations
and the magazine
pages keep
on spinning

land on page 99;
how to lose weight
or lack thereof

someone's yearning
for a ***** chai, grande
no ice

almond milky
way

tonight, it's about
mimicry, with no
soul inside

be free, a copycat
of an adolescent

wake up tomorrow
and prepare the head
for it's inevitable
face palm
Alexander Coy Nov 2016
i am damage per shot,
a weakness of the lung,
collapsed, i fold into
fours and then submerge
as easily as a freshly
baked American apple pie

i am a 24 hour diner
without a place to sit,
something like
a sack of grains
pouring into closed
mouths and filled
bellies

it begins, another year
around the neck of
two thousand

starving, i wander
the earth in search for amazing ***,
a fertile egg to implant my indecisions
and imperfections in,

one more breath
against the tidal waves
of suffering, we all continue
down this path

not as if it was chosen,
but as if it came naturally

littered with multitudes
of ideas,

i fall into place,

the center of a crooked
angle
Alexander Coy Nov 2016
Wonder who's
next

behind a steering wheel,
or in the 5th row
seat next to the window
looking down

or in front of
a gun, staring
into the barrel

at the mercy of
a stranger, or
on the knees
begging a jealous
lover

someone's
gotta go

here, now,
there

in the distant
future

it's got your number,--

but till then..

give meaninglessness
hell, kid
Alexander Coy Apr 2016
I was so young. Just born fresh really. My flesh was as tight
as it could manage itself around me. Somehow
this attracted your gaunt wrinkled fingers; your corroded bones
found their way into my new home.

You tickled until you found the right spot,
and then you prodded until you drowned out
the stops.

You made a holy body
laugh it's way back into the womb.

Who knew safety
was never real? And yet
it would be worth more than
the King's jewels, Made in China gadgets,
and hell,--

God?

You took every intimate secret and made it public.
Shoved a black crystal into my heart, like a child
stuffing a cube into the star shaped gap; positioned
it just right so that every horror would
reflect from any light.

You penetrated the silence of night
and the pleasure you inflicted with ease
lingered for life.

The sweet and subtle pricking
caused ripples that would prevent
me from ever being truly satisfied.

To hell with your lovely disease;
your seductive ways in resuscitating.

Your plague shadow
remains a smeared blotch on the wall
of my humanity.
Alexander Coy Apr 2016
The bed is like a mug full of
***** fog I drink in.

Before I wake up, it dribbles
off my lip
and after I go to bed
it softens the blow
of living without
it during the day

It's a fading mist,
and I'm a lost ship
tossing, and turning,

in all it's glory.
Alexander Coy May 2016
I see what you did there...
We're all alone in this
it's quite a mess we've made
call it sin, guilt, a nightmare
with no name, a shadow
without a face; it lurks
behind the word abyss,
the loosely knit concept
of nothingness;

what great shade our bodies make

for the earth, it's plants and creatures

Tomorrow is on the tip of your tongue
and fate has seized your heart
torn it in two, handed one half
to the night, one half to the moon

and what of the sun, you ask

it's been inside you this entire time

As you wake, you stretch your arms
and mourn over a thousand yesterdays
with a yawn; and you bury it in
coffee beans and freshly baked
pastries; who you were
a day ago, is far more different
than who you are now;

it's a fool's errand
to think otherwise

And like fools
we shall love,
and drown ourselves
in tangible decisions;
such as long distance relationships,
baby making commitments,
and soul seething incisions

Let it all fall apart...*

I am between your legs

and I am of nothing,

and nothing is where I stay.
Alexander Coy Apr 2016
4 Fried stuffed avocados.
Migas enchiladas.
A craving,
an appetite, a hollow
vessel.
Fresh Tres Leches.
Packaged chocolate donuts.
*** after work. 30 minutes.
Flaccid existence.

Found humor
in it all.
Alexander Coy Apr 2016
We're like promises lost in a small pond near the London Bridge.
I am inaccurate as I am ignorant.
Excuse my existence, we can
talk about it later.
Have you had your cup of tea,
my darling? And are the boys
and girls all amused by
your sad stories?
We're like hours and hours of sleep
without the increments of dreams.
The bread crumbs somehow
made it this far. So let's
keep going till we're
lost for infinity.
We're like boxing gloves without the passion
for fighting. Going on and on
about how we'd change the world,
and arrange it's furniture
if we had just the perfect lighting.
I am mysterious as I am tangible.
A rare jewel that's been carved out of common material.
You were right when you said
it's going to get more difficult.
Well, time is here to stay,
as are the diseases, crimes, and other obstacles.

Ain't it pitiful?
Alexander Coy Apr 2016
The seeking of death
is a young man's game

and the dream of romance
is a little girl's fancy

Is there anymore room
between these two things?

Living without life
is just as easy.
Alexander Coy Oct 2016
Raise your awareness
up to the sky;

lower your standards
till they hit
rock bottom
and die

Make sure
each copper lid
has an eye;

make sure
each silver lining
isn't a lie

A shine for
a shine

makes the whole
world fine

Tomorrow
we wake up
bright and early
to nothing but
past memories

Lather, rinse
and repeat

till the *****
pile of laundry
is pristine

Our souls aren't
clean, nor
will they ever
be

That's how sin
came to be so handy

Tonight
we live for infinity,

hearts ablaze,
lungs torn apart
from all the
unnecessary breathing.
Alexander Coy Dec 2016
baby, these are eyes
heavy with guilt;
pupils like dandelions
in the shape of used
tampons;

a kaleidoscope
of secrets whispers
through yellow crooked
teeth

you said don't trust
a sailor, don't let her
come close

but i know better

i've tricked myself
into becoming a father

and now i wait
with my hands over
my mouth

behind a wilderness
without a name

the same greens, the same
browns, the same rustle of leaves
in between the same
frowns

it's your turn, you said
as i started to walk away

but this wasn't a game i wanted
to play

okay, you replied

and then you swallowed me
whole in a thick black duvet

i moaned your name

as i started to feel around
the absolute darkness.
Alexander Coy Apr 2016
It's not something I'm very proud of
but I feel less guilty
when I know I'm not the only one

There are others
but I don't know their names,
I don't know where they stay,
and certainly remain ignorant of
their personal pleasures and intimate pains

We're all in this together
but on our own
in constant motion;
petrified from the tip of the iceberg
down to the floor of the unknown

Is shame real?

Or did we built this atrocity together?

Our ancestors had the best intentions

After survival, what comes next?

The rational decision making,
the fragile economy, bastardized standards
and capsizing traditions; and it's as though
we keep asking,

no,

pleading for more of it

Almighty silent search bar
answer all of my questions,
direct me through this
neon wilderness, guide me
with your fluorescent light;
north, south, and every which
way between...

I am guilty of nothing

I left living in your hands
and it's become a complicated design;
mistaken for a binary fairytale;
an illusion of flawless bells and whistles

Sign me up, an elegant scribble
like a mouth dribble, along the
dotted line

Modernity
is malnourishment
pristine

It was never something I was proud of
never something I asked for, but questioned
constantly is this right, is this wrong, is this normal
is this healthy?


Look up, look up, look up,
Define me

We're all in this together,

But on our own, as though

doors never open

and windows stay shut.
Alexander Coy Apr 2016
This afternoon I tried signing onto my Xbox but it wouldn't let me.
I called up customer support and they asked the usual questions.
Then they put me on hold for thirty minutes or so;
and in those thirty minutes I decided I'd make a grilled cheese sandwich.

When the customer service rep got back on,
he said the account would immediately be deactivated
and they they couldn't refund me for all the purchases I made;
then told me I was better off with a Nintendo WiiU and hung up.

I looked at my phone in disgust. Surely this was some sick joke.
But anger, much like a clean, pretty face,
got the best of me.

I chucked my phone at the wall;
then rushed out the house and found the closest thing I could see.
An old lawn chair from my jam band festival days.
I threw it, with all my might, into the street;
screaming "I don't want a ******* WiiU!" over
and over, till my voice gave
and puttered like a Ford Pinto on it's last leg.

That's when I noticed the windows were tinted black;
and soon after smoke started to billow out the windows.
Oh no, I thought, the ******* grilled cheese sandwich!
I ran in, coughing, my blue shirt clinging to my nose and chin;
the alarm screaming  "I have seen the face of God!".

I managed to make it to  the *****, grabbed
all the plastic water bottles I could find and
gave the stove counter top hell.

After the smoke cleared, I removed the pan,
threw away the sandwich
and slumped like a limp sack of grains
on the stool by the kitchen window.

And for the rest of that day I mourned over my deceased sandwich;
Oh, how well it would've paired with a bowl of Campbell's tomato soup.
Alexander Coy Jul 2016
Shadow object
of destiny;

guide me
into the
multicolored light
at the end of
this dark tunnel
of mine

There is no
humor and sadness
to speak of;

only what is perceived
by two flickering
vessels of black
and white;

Even then,
the mind can
be so hard to trust
at times

Or so
I find.
Alexander Coy Jan 2017
There are times when I'm afraid
to ask you questions I know the answers to;
afraid of the night rearing
it's heavy ***** as though it
were something I needed
not something I begged
for when I was at my lowest

(and would soon regret after)

There are days when you're
sound asleep; like a balloon
living on borrowed
oxygen

Laying on your side
your eyes flicker
on and off;

taking in the AM
particles, eyelashes
that sweep dreams
back and forth

back and forth
until the dusk
smothers you in
promising scenes

There are times when I am
grateful I get to hear your
voice at the end of the razor-wire

and wonder, (because
wondering brings me
back to a childlike
presence)

if it's really you
that I love and appreciate,

or if it's just a dream
that continues to blanket
me in it's infinite ardor.
Alexander Coy Apr 2016
Marcus,

I left a message on your answering machine
but you have yet to respond. It's been
two weeks, perhaps more. I lost count.

At the moment, the streaks have accelerated
and multiplied. They resemble an arial view of
cyclists competing in the Tour de France; they're
like multitudes of ***** pennies vying for that one
eternal slot.

Hey, man. At least I tried. I'm drained of all that
is sacred. The me you knew as a child, is still that
innocent figure left standing by the door. Except
this time, he's not coming back anymore.

I guess you could say I'm finally free.

How silly it is to depend on such modern
machinery. Man has come this far just to end up abandoned.
And yet  man is constantly searching for a self to wrap up
in a tidy little package; to display for the entire world to see.

I thought I'd drop by, in the form
of random sequences; this present motion
is like a ballon being released from it's
needy little string. The desire was always
following me around, but now
I'm fathoms deep in the sky;

Drowning happily.

Marcus, if you find the time
to put aside the nuclear children
and wife. Please call back,

so we can have that man to man

talk you promised for so

many years.
Alexander Coy Aug 2016
If I knew I could have you
in a dark alley way,
behind a Latino
club, Desperado's
or something rather,
without any passerby,

no cop in sight,

I'd still decline

You see, it's not the opportunity
I want to sieze, but the heart
I want to freeze, and burn
it down like a suburban house;

and set ablaze all the green

If I knew I could fill your belly
with one, no two,

please you with
three little seeds

I'd refuse, give up,
sign off and leave

Tuck you like a memory
in the back of my jeans,
au revoir, Nacadoches;

My sweet American diet,
c'est la vie

For I am only a finite
creature, on the brink
of immortality

You could do without the
deceit, mi carnal amor,

with velvet blue sky
under your precious feet.
Alexander Coy May 2016
Don't you think I could use
a little help over here?

Medic! Medic! Medic...?

A health pack
would keep me going,
but you think
because I look, act,
talk, and think like a
ten ton truck,

that I am one?

The strongest
ones in life
got that way
by being afraid
for their lives.

A little tender
love and care
goes a long way
for a grizzly bear;

A health pack
would be nice
right about now.
red
Alexander Coy Nov 2016
red
pardon me
for peeking
into your window

i was just admiring
your Christmas tree

it's very beautiful

i like the oriental
ornaments; my favorite
one is the the rainbow
colored candy cane
swinging like
an iridescent icicle

don't mind me,
nor the ***** rags
i'm covered in

i'll be on my way
once the snow settles
Alexander Coy Dec 2016
I could be in bed right now.

Under the sheets where it's safe;

like the tongue resting firmly
between teeth; presumably
the gaping mouth of
a banshee.

I could call it an early night.

Dream of you, and the
effervescent hell
betwixt those thighs.

I could do
many things;
and yet, it still
would not suffice.

It's safe to say,
'coulds' should
be deleted from
my lexicon.
Alexander Coy Oct 2016
it was
another saturday night
they stood by the door
like vultures above
the carcass
hungry, their feathers
ablaze,
their tongues
swaying
church bells

the ring
so loud
it destroyed
the glass walls

they poured in,
their bodies
crashing
into each other
like waves

when one went
down, another
took it's place

after it was
all said and done

there were no words
to share, no memories
to be had

it was as if
they were born from
zeros, and went
back to zeros

where no
concept could
be formed
Alexander Coy Jun 2016
If you ever seen ugly,
you've never seen ugly

If it doesn't fit in your hand,
why strain yourself
with disfigurement?

Your eyes are
picture perfect;
capable of
precise precision

Disillusionment knows
no boundaries

And so,
onward
we march
as stagnant
as ides of March

consumed by the
ideals of the our times

If you've never
had love, it wasn't much
but two hand touch;

yes, it was rough, and at first
it wasn't enough,
but now that you've
lost it all,

a bowl of cereal in
the morning
is another lonely
nail in the coffin
Alexander Coy Jun 2016
i

I am an echo
the size of an insect;
wingless and translucent,
I stick to the walls
of an endless mouth

it speaks of chaos,
the world is on fire
everyone is burning
for love

please don't leave...


ii.

Love is not
loneliness
feeding upon
loneliness

The curves
of a man's tongue
as it rests against
the teeth

sleeps

until
it wakes once more
to shatter the
earth
and scare all
the little ones

iii.

If it is not within me
to share a heart, be
it bruised or broken,
be it sealed in black
or lost in fog

It if is not within me
to continue on, limp
blinded by the past,
torn asunder
by the hidden
hands of ignorance

Then it's final

There's no coming back
from the depths below

Fate smiles approvingly
on the guarded animals
of fortune

iiii.

And I feel myself
make it back somehow,
courage the size of
a feline fang;

it's enough
to tear through

the sadness,

enough to get me

by for a longer

while
Alexander Coy Sep 2016
You know,
i am living
between blood
and bone;

a little swimmer
suddenly so
alone

sinking deeper
and deeper
until the unknown
is home.

And i stay here
as you breathe
out there;

because one day
i believe this will
all make sense,

one day
i'll have my riches;

spoiled rotten
right down to
the core.

Nevermore,
you caw;
my muscles
tied in knots;

knock, knock

my brain rattles,
rattles, until
it tips over
and falls.

We were here
all along,--

except i prefered
to stay lost.

You know,
I am stuck
between blood
and bone.
Alexander Coy Nov 2016
I sure could use
a poem about me*

said no one
ever
Alexander Coy Oct 2016
I enjoy the way the light
shines on your forehead
like the sun scattering
arrows across the plains
of a desert

your unwashed hair
polishes it just right,

greasy and mirror-like

Your eyes are open
wide when you scrub
your crooked teeth
with the Hot Wheels
toothbrush;

I suddenly imagine
a navy blue 76 Chevrolet Camaro
speeding through
a busy-body city
with empty shoddy buildings
like it's the end of the world

Then there's the sound
of liquid crashing like
waves inside a tiny
tunnel

You turn off the light
and lay in bed next to me

'Your breath stinks,'

you say as you push
me to the side to make space

Groggy old me agrees;

you're just
as bad when it's
that time of the month

but I don't say anything

because I know how bad
it can be
Alexander Coy Aug 2016
I suppose what aches
the heart is a competitive
mind;

It's never win or lose,
but somehow feels mores
like the latter.

With dreams, come
the scenery of futures.

You close your eyes
and it's like you're there again;

crying over another broken heart,
or
better yet,
mourning over a father
who let the needle
love him too deep.

The mind is not
for or against
the concrete reality.

It persists
to perceive.

And what aches
the heart
is the breath
that competes.
Alexander Coy May 2016
The screen is lit.
A pixelated wildfire.
Next to it, a 1TB HDD
hisses, then eases
into a subtle hum.
There is a pencil
inside the Best Buy
advertisement; bookmarking
the electronics section;
two 4K HD televisions
are circled.
The cellphone lays
on it's belly; it's
no side sleeper.
There is a nearby
pulse, lime-green;
the internet
heart beat;
the door into
a different world
that seems recognizable,
sounds familiar;
the most known
unknown.
The screen stays lit.
Words readable
at first glance; countless
forms of languages;
copy-paste micro-transactions.
Left,
        Center,
                     Right,
alignments.
And the keyboard
is like a child
being tucked
in a silver blanket.


The fingers of God,
any god,

dances.
Alexander Coy Apr 2016
It's been quite some time since I've seen my father.

He rests like the mask of a retired luchador;

a soft, withering hero's costume of my childhood.

I know I don't talk about him much;

it's not like you ever ask what he was like anyway.

My uncles and aunts who used to shine like diamonds

when talking about him, have corroded over time;

stuck in the dying art of living.

I used to be superstitious you know.

Each time I visited the cemetery

I'd make **** sure I wouldn't walk over his

grave.

I can still remember the expression his face would make

when he got angry with me.

I feel that demon seethe within when I don't get my way.

And I never, ever get my way.

So what gives?

Pay a visit, let my words rise and fall in the afternoon air;

Feel the hopelessness of communication; each word

a petal that's been torn off with no regard and roughly

placed on a half-assed craft.

At least there is a consistent mood I can depend on;

where every question remains unanswered;

a predicable outcome;

always a safe bet.
Alexander Coy May 2016
Tell me, darling

Whose name I've been chasing

After all these years I still don't know

who I am, and want to be

Are you the one for me?

The one of many; millions

upon millions of seeds

Only one had a chance

and some would say

that's luck;

How fortunate I am to be stuck

on this planet with no real

destiny; drifting like a ghost

through an empty building

I once called home,

is my perfect idea

of fate.
Alexander Coy Apr 2016
I really couldn't
love another.
Couldn't really claim
to make such
a bold statement.
Random may be
my virtue; and
contradiction my
very essence.
But let's be honest.
Lies come
easy as truth
leaves the body.
Enough falsehood.


There's that.
There's also
the fact that
I've never
wanted someone so badly
as much as I want to live
to tell the tale
of the greatest heartache
I've ever known.


But in order
to speak of such
a feat. I must
continue onward.
The heart beats
and beats. It's
such a silly thing.


And what of
worry, you make ask.


Yeah,
you got me there,


Moon reflecting
from the face
of a nearby pond.
Alexander Coy May 2016
What if,
by the time I am forty
all I have are black curtains
preventing sunlight
from coming in;
or a full-time job
on a minimum wage?

What if I lose all
my possession in a fire
caused by a cigarette
I didn't put out properly;
what if all my files
were wiped out
due to faulty hardrive?

Would love still show
it's face around these parts?
Or would love walk
around wounded, looking
to score a fix?

Does redemption
exist for a man
with guilt-ridden fists?

A man with nothing to lose,

and nothing to gain

once the world ends.

What if by the time I'm fifty,
all the progress I made
regresses, and the house
I built collapses,

and every detail

I kissed with *****,

chapped lips,

loses it's preciousness?

If I don't let go of the past now,

it only repeats itself over

and over in the present.

The current state of events

is last year's confession.
Alexander Coy May 2016
Not a fan of it, you say
It isn't me, or
I'm not into that
sort of thing*

Oh, honey
we're doing it all wrong
Our egos tie our limbs
to the bedposts; and the self,
the I,

stabs, pokes, and prods

until we lose ourselves
in it's warmth, like a gun
to our heads,

a bullet engraved with
the word Self

and we **** ourselves
every night;

every choice,
a measured note
in a song we can't
call our own

we'll sing out of tune
anyway,

the Western civilization

is a spiderweb of self
deceit

and the entire world
will know the power
of I

as it spreads like poison

through the veins.
Alexander Coy Jul 2016
I put his ***** in my mouth,
and he puts mine in his hand
and we laugh in unison
except my laugh sounds
like I'm gargling marbles
and his laced with
painful joy

We're on my mother's bed
and it's my fifteenth birthday;

The television is on,
and the sound of a
newsman fills the
evening air

60 dead and 5 others wounded
is all I can manage to hear

as he begins to make his way inside
of me, a silent joy consumes my
soul and I'm floating away to Heaven

I see God, and I feel him
fill me with contentment;
his hand is placed on my forehead
and I kiss his fingers
as they slowly leave my face

The front door shuts
loud with a bang and
my friend and I struggle to put
on our clothes;

It's father;

I've gotten
used to the loud,
calculated steps
he takes up the stairs

We both sit on the bed
and act as if we just finished
praying

The door opens
and he smiles,
and asks us
why we are
sweating;

but his eyes make his way
to the television;
he becomes distracted and tells
us with a grimace on his face
to go downstairs and
play a game

I grab my friend's
hand and rush
down the stairs

just to be alone with
him once more.
Alexander Coy Nov 2016
He lays on the couch
his gut peering
over the valley
of camo shorts;

He yells for a beer.

No one comes.

So he tries to get up
but in doing so,
knocks over the
small folding table;

Yesterday's dinner follows.

It's a new problem to fix.

But easily avoidable
(for the moment)
with internet ****.

Google Browser Incognito
flares up. His wife will come home
in half an hour. Gotta finish soon,--

before she cleans the entire mess.
Alexander Coy May 2016
She pulls a razor
out the secret
zipped compartment
of her leather purse

Her yellow teeth,
with bits of lipstick
in between, reflect
from it's dull belly

She kisses it then
glides it down from
her kneecap to under
her thigh and pushes
it into her flesh

She flinches, her eyes
squint in ecstasy and
she feels life leaving her
from below

There's a faint smile,
followed by a sigh
of relief; a sweet
resignation of some kind

Someone knocks on the door;
they need to ***,

no, they
need to take a ****;

but she knows
what that really means

She stopped doing coke
ten years ago, after
her husband took the baby;

Now she gets a visit a two
once a month and that's
enough to be considered lucky

She leaves the razor
on the sink for the next
person;

they could use it, she thinks;

someone else has gotta bleed.
Alexander Coy May 2016
Do you look around and
pick an attractive stranger and ask
would this individual
make a good spouse?

Are they someone I can depend
on when the going get's tough,
when the world starts
to tilt on it's axis; when
things fall apart,
and everything
I ever owned
is shattered
in tiny
unrecognizable
pieces?

What about the ***?
Can this person
keep up with
my desires, or
will the judge me
by my
turn ons?

Do you take a survey
that outlines this perfect
lover; and do their
beliefs and ideas
align with yours?

Such a beautiful
and tidy future
so easily predicted.

When you're young
it's easy to make a few
mistakes here and there;
it's only when you get older
that you start to
cherry pick.

Don't want to waste anymore time;

Don't want to feel like such

a fool.

No one taught you to
believe in forever, but
somehow that idea
burrowed it's way
into your heart
and set the whole thing ablaze;

Now it's a cinder
of what it used to be
when you were a child.

Twenty or so tabs
of online dating websites
and surveys are open;

Potential partners
profiles preferred;

and plan B's
starred and bookmarked,
cause you never know.

That special someone
is out there.

It's attempt,

after attempt,

until you get it right.
Alexander Coy Mar 2017
right before your
cotton candy eyes
it all falls apart

you worked so hard

positioned your
corpse six feet deep
only to find out
you missed the
pearly white gates by
a couple of inches

and someone heard
the tapping of your heels
against fresh lamented
wood floors

and told his brother
and her sister

that you were alone

and vulnerable

and so you hid behind
the tanks, lit the fuse
and watched the battleground
explode into tiny fragments
of new beginnings

made the best of loss
is what you did

but the others knew better
than to let this peace go on
much longer

thus the internal
struggle continued;--

licking your sweet lips
until they parted,

you revealed gaps in
hardwired teeth

and they never
looked so beautiful
as they did now
Alexander Coy May 2016
Me and my boy, Francis go way back
except now he's no longer known
as Francis, but as Frank da Money Machine.

I never knew it
until he told me,
but we used to
live across from
each other.

in the same ****
neighborhood Da *** Squad
came up from;

I said, ****, for reals?

He threw his third Budlight
into the trash can, asked our
friend, Julio for another and
nodded his head up and
down like a bobble toy.

Sho nuff,

he was right.
Alexander Coy Nov 2016
you asked for your
'oomph'
and got it

that spice of life,
variety in a bottle

sprinkle our assorted
colors across the globe

we are like falling leafs
on a windy day in the midwest

orbiting around you;

for you are the sun,
the centre of the universe

without your precious
privilege we
are nothing
Alexander Coy Apr 2016
I want to be kissed by a small
wounded animal. I long
to have bullets graze
past my chubby cheeks.

I'm too busy
looking away
instead of focusing
on what is right
in front of me.

I want my belly to be filled
with Death's babies; and for
my hair to grow long and
spider-like.

Blanket me in a thousand blacks.

Pixelate my entire soul and transfer me
through the infinite circuitry.

I am Image
and Image is legend.

Bundled up in dry words
of a snowstorm day dream;

I reap all that is beautiful;

it's definition not so definitive

anymore.
Alexander Coy May 2016
Oh dear,
what was the word he used to
describe me?

The crack in the sky,
like some kind of raw
nerve endings of a
lost family tree;

It started with the
letter B, and a few of my friends
throw it around like it's round,
soft, and precious to hold

But it's the first thing
you call someone who
wants you to let go

My dear,
there is a mouth
half opened, as though
it were built for a hand
to clasp it;

there is a body
left for dead, it's arms
outstretched like
the antennas
of an insect;

Jog the memory;
what word did he use
to describe me?

A lonely face
shouldn't have said nothing;

Just stay a shut-in;

forever outspoken.
Alexander Coy May 2016
It was mid-August,
maybe later, when I developed
feelings for my best friend.

I think I knew
when I saw that
the trees in the
backyard were dying;

they stopped producing
oranges, their leaves were
soggy, pitiful trinkets.

It was the day after
I stopped believing in Santa;

my mother saw it on my face
when she turned around
and offered me toast bread.

I usually ate bread with my
oatmeal, but the spoon
was still on the table;

the oatmeal still in the bowl.

She asked me what was wrong
and I shrugged. I wanted to say
I was in love.

I wanted to ask if being in love
always felt this terrible; I didn't
care to go back to school, nor
study, nor become the doctor
they wanted me to be.

But that's when my father came in.

I was sent upstairs
to my room, and was told
to memorize the fifty
states.

In between reciting their names,
I could hear my father yelling
over my mother, and my mother
choking on the words, don't leave.

I could feel myself choking too.

So I walked to my window
and saw the dying orange tree;

then I thought of my friend

and how I'd like to play

with her again.
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