Forgive me old friend for i didnt know.
I wish it didnt end that way.
I cant help but look at myself in disgust for not realizing it sooner but you were too good at hiding it.
Looking back now i see the signs so clearly.
They say that the ones who smile the greatest are the ones who hurt the most but yet i didnt see it.
How could i have called you a friend if i could not even save you from yourself.
I basically gave you away without a fight and all because i couldnt see what you really felt.
You deserved much better than this.
Now look at you.
Rotting away.
What have you done?
I should have done more.
If only i stayed true to myself instead of letting this world change me.
Im sorry my old friend.
Sorry that i gave up myself instead of holding on to you

Time runs by slower every day.
Crickets fill the night with their songs.
The moon and stars shinning through my windows crack.
Tossing and turning but sleep keeps eluding me.
What has become of my mind of late.
Filling itself with fear and hate.
Anger clouds this weak minded fool.
Drowning myself just like a pool.
Please give me an answer for all this.
Why have you chose to betray me?
I know what is right but my heart refuses to forgive.
You chose the path you did but I am the one who is being evolved.
I become what I need so that no one has this leverage on me again.

Today is my birthday.
A time of celebration.
House filled with music.
Kitchen smelled of aromatic food.
Fridge stocked with the coldest drinks.
Cigarette flowing through my body ever so smoothly.

Today is what I waited for all week.
The anticipation was so unbearable.
A time to enjoy myself with family and friends.
What more could I have possibly asked for?
Company was all I really wanted.

Today is my birthday.
Today no one showed

This room is too quiet.
I can't see a single thing.
I feel it getting tight in here.
I'm losing my breath slowly.
My chest is getting tight.
I'm gasping for air.
I open my mouth but nothing comes out.
I feel the spiders crawling all over me.
I don't know what to do.
You used to be here and save me but now you're gone

No one noticed.
I matured more than ever.
No one noticed.
I got a promotion.
No one noticed.
I stopped smoking.
No one noticed.
I stopped getting drunk.
No one noticed.
I felt out of place.
No one noticed.
I started cutting myself.
No one noticed.
I tried to over dose.
No one noticed.
I was extremely depressed.
No one noticed.
I showed up on the news...
Now everyone noticed.

What do i say?
Im utterly speechless with her.
I eyes are locked but i don'tknow what i should do.
My heart races at the shear thoughtof telling her.
Tell her how i think she is amazing?
What about how i cannot sleep without thinking of her?
Should i dare to say what i truly feel?
I open my mouth but i cannot speak those words.
The words that would set me free and release me of this hold.
Oh how i urn to tell her those exact words that make me weak inside.
I really want to tell you your beautiful, smart and amazing.
Tell you everything you truly are, but most of all,
Tell you i love you more than words could ever describe

I was frozen in fear.
There was nothing i could do but stay in that place without moving an inch.
It even became hard for me to breathe.
Everything around me became frozen and all that could be see what you.
Nothing else mattered at that very moment.
I remembered all the times we said "i love you".
Every moment that our lips touched under a passionate kiss.
The laughs that we shared and the tears that we cried.
Everything brought before my eyes led up to you and I.
Oh how i yearned for you in this very moment.
For the last kiss.
The last laugh.
The last smile.
Im sorry but this is it for me my love.
Im glad you got away from here.
I gladly give my life to save yours.
Forgive me for not making it back to you tonight.
For breaking my promise to never leave you alone.