you're not catholic, per se, but you never quite felt okay with not feeling pain

god are you there? please talk to me

god?

please

there is teeth, that i have, and there is marrow, which i do not,
because when we slaughter this year's chickens in preparation for a feast we will eat all of it,
just like you have taken my bones and emptied them,
you do not have teeth, resigned to suckle ,
i wish i was free of taint, there is teeth, that i have, and i wished i had ,had the nerve to bite back,
because there is only the remnants of a proboscis eating my marrow,

(sexting) i thought of holding your hand for hours today

and i would lay down the world at your feet
but there is nothing that is worth anything
close to you. lay down with me on rain soaked
concrete, let us dream of distant sunrises
press your tongue to the pavement and let
the world dissolve like an oversized pill
as though it would cure the ache of matters
relating to the heart.
i heard a song that sounded like it was through
an old record player. and it said that it was
worth giving your whole heart away
than to keep it forever cold and sheltered
i thought of you then, how precarious your grip,
blood soaked hands clutching at an ending not
meant for us.
arteries that dilate as pupils do
due to proximity, due to epidermal ridges
pressed against each other so tightly,
together in lockstep, forever and ever
as though you would fall if i let you go.