i would like to break you
i would like to press upon your throat
untill my knuckles come undone
i would like drag my nails over your face
and destroy what you are in love with
i would like to kick you in the mouth
and make ****** your arrognant smile
i would like to spit in your face
and laugh as you drown in helpless fury
i would like to destroy your holy body
so you can no longer be admired for it
i would like to run you over
when you parade in your gay little shorts
i would like to drown your face
in a bucket of your own *****
i would like to humiliate you
and show everyone who you really are
i would like to tell your boss
how you steal his money
i would like to make you poor
and see you begging at the street corner
i would like to punch you in the gut,
and tell you to go **** yourself

you are nothing
you are a fake
you are impotent
you are a narcissist
you are too stupid to see it

the only way you will ever be happy
is if your mirror had a ******

but no matter what ill i wish you
kharma will ******* in the ***
and i will deem my lessons well learned
while you adore yourself

how do i not read
lies in your words
when you contradict yourself
and leaves me wondering

how do i not see
manipulations in your actions
when they seem so carefully planned
and leaves me unsure

how do i not grow cold
when your words and actions
are as night and day
leaving me insecure

maybe that kindly face
hides a malicious creature
having had years to perfect
an art i have yet to discover

your arms say
i love you
your words say
i dont care

do actions speak louder than words
or is this a game that has no name?

i used to give you sunflowers
i used to gather them
hunt the side of the road
for their smiling faces in the grass

i used to stop in the traffic
wade through wet foilage
muddy water
to reach them all

i used to think
that this love
i used to think
i am unique

i am uniquely naive
i am specially ignorant

now the sunflowers will die in the grass
everyone will pass them by
and i avert my eyes
because it's another thing thing you ruined

am i so wrong
to want to hear
that i am missed
loved,
treasured,
longed for.

am i so wrong
to want to feel special
beautifull
adored
secure in you.

i dont know
from one day to the next
what you feel for me.
if anything at all.

you cant say you love me
you cant say you miss me
you cant say
how i make you feel.

this whole facade
is but pretty lilies on the water
with nothing underneath

dont i deserve
to hear what i am to you.
how you feel when im not around

i know i am insecure
but you are not helping.

i feel like something is lost
something that has no name
no colour
no smell

i was shown my face today
i had to hear
what you did to me

i had carried myself
without crutches or aids
i had trodden quietly
where i could

i feel an immense loss
for the innocence you *****
the love you choked
the gifts you broke

if this is what i escaped,
why do i feel like grief?

i am cold
here
now
i dont want to remember
what you did
but i cant escape it either

the bloodlust in your eyes
the ****** in your hands
the physcial hurt
you bestowed upon me

i trusted you
with my life
and you throttled it
untill it died

i am stronger than then
i hope i am stronger than then
i think i am stronger than then
please, god, let me be stronger than then

why do i feel like something has died?
when i have won by leaving your abuse?

maybe,
the death of my self-image
the mask i thought had worked

they saw through it all
and they knew
that you were drowning me

and now they see
how i am shining
away from your shadow

maybe, now
i can have my watershed

i am an african
my blood is thick with it
the soil smells of home
the sky is my colour

i am an african
my dna defies skin
the grasses sing my voice
the trees  invite me underneath

i am an african
my heart beats the rhythmn
the summer's heat
the winter's bite

come to our shores!
taste our passion
hear our drums

let our endless sky carry you away

let our green savannah steal your soul

let our smiles warm your heart

this is what i wake up to,
every day.

and you will never truly live,
untill you smell the afternoon rain,
and sleep with a thunder-lullaby

i am an african
i dare you to prove otherwise.