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975 · Aug 2010
confusion....
Addeline Wagner Aug 2010
Do not consume me for I cannot bear it
Just as the moon holds sway of the tides,
So it is as this contentious concept laps against my mind

Sifting through the possibilities,
I am stripped across the sandy shore,
Held fast to wayward hands
Consciously drawn to my desires,
Colliding into illusions

Compile a craft to sail me above this confusion
To be defeated by far away forces or triumph o’er the seas
For this is the risk of freedom
739 · Aug 2010
....cause of hesitation
Addeline Wagner Aug 2010
Yours is a dangerous love.

It is rough

…and as course as your scruff scraping against my skin
….and it bruises.
It bites.
It tears.

It pins to the wall, gasping and encaged.

It is vivaciously hungry.
In the eyes of its passion
it seeks to devour me.

It is an instinctual need.

It is dangerous.
2010
716 · Aug 2010
...words of Encouragement
Addeline Wagner Aug 2010
I know you can if you think you could
But should you should? I wish you would...

So leave Seuss for the children and open your mind
When you look through your heart I’m sure you will find
There is a driving force, painful and past
That propels your engine, rhythmic and fast

It stokes your fires, it paves your way
It gets you through the miserable days
But people will come and bring something new
They will see your progression and see that you grew

But with this same fuel you will churn on and on
And in this tried method you will still meet the dawn
But alone in the darkness you will think, and think hard
About the new people and you put up your guard

They come with new meaning, they bring a new day
They come with intention but meet them halfway
You could find a new method although you’re inclined
To move as you’re going and not lose your mind

But people will come, you could choose to give way
Or in this great madness of course you can stay
But to try something new, and dare I say fail
You shimmy away, afraid to derail

But time will press on, there is naught you can do
To keep them from coming, curious about you
Into the tunnels, yourself you could cast
But you can’t change what’s done, the past is the past

...So hear what I say and consider it true
Although you may struggle, only you can change you.
Alternate title:
Nathaniel's Plight
579 · Aug 2010
Eulogy for my Father
Addeline Wagner Aug 2010
To the living spirit that is in and of all things,
both conscious and silent life,
be now affected by my intention.

I offer my divine will that when you are released from your physical manifestation,
that you may slip away freely as a strand of pure energy into the great matrix of all that is living.

May all of your positive experiences fly with you
and be your forever companion on the journey that lies ahead.

May you leave behind all your negativity to the decay of the physical world.

May the poison of anger and the pain of physical neglect lift from your soul that you may

Find peace.
576 · Aug 2010
...thinking wishfully
Addeline Wagner Aug 2010
How I wish I were the strand of hair
that clings about your neck.
Oh how I could caress your skin
and feel your every breath.

If only I could be among
the darkness of your sheets,
along with you then I would pass
into this dreamfull sleep.

Where to awake in dream or real,
the light from off your face
would lift my senses on to feel
the warmth of your embrace.
2010
562 · Sep 2010
...Strung along
Addeline Wagner Sep 2010
Take this string and tie it 'round

Wind it tight because I'm bound

To scream and struggle against its weight

Until it's ******, until I break.
Addeline Wagner Jul 2010
Rambling through dark alleyways
      Searching for destruction
Fire and pain engulf my soul
      As misery blinds my instruction
Whitewash walls covered with talent
      Rise up from every corner
Emptiness fills this path I take
     This shadow in which I border
Up ahead is no release
     As silence breaks but will not cease
Tears trapped inside that bestow my pain
     The whistle heard that remains the same
Wind and air bites all at will
     As this body quakes, such reason, so still
A limit be said on what I feel
     And yet all at once its not so real
A glare of what I used to be
     Fire and destruction, thats all I see
...1998?
Addeline Wagner Jul 2010
When the morning sets in and we writhe in bliss or pain,

The waking dream dissipates with the confusion of our yesterdays

And the reality of our condition remains unchanged, challenged and

What I fear to be doomed from the go.

In this I find myself, still broken and weary under the night’s dreaded desires.
....can you copyright your emotions? 2010
Addeline Wagner Jul 2010
Day shifts into day
   Mortals fall away
Creature of the night
   In its longfull flight
Madness overtaking
   Insanity not mistaking
Power in the night
   Creeps away in fright
Fearful of my bite
   I am master of the night
....I came across this as I was looking through an old notebook from high school. I'm going to say 2001 maybe?....
Addeline Wagner Aug 2010
If that which parts us is no more in this moment,
Then why do you not hold me?
That which separates us no more is now replaced by your own means.
Laying next to you now and I feel a world removed.
Must you hold fast to the pain of what has come before?
You do not want it and yet its power over you is more tangible than your hands upon me.
How long will you remain unavailable to the indulgences of your own pleasures?
How long should I wait for you?
2010

— The End —