The fight avoided is already won, but don't count me out another way.
Is it the stronger man that lives with his sins, or he that can call it a day?

The deck is stacked and there's no more begins.
Like Russian Roulette, played fully packed;

The house always wins.

Another night I drink myself to sleep.
Don't know what it is, but I know this ain't it.
The uppers and downers drag me to the deep.
I know I need a change from this everyday ****.

Through all the smoke and pain,
This problems held in the mirror.
I see it all with the sweet disdain.
Can't help but think of all the times held dearer.

When I think of all that has to give, I wonder what it takes to truly live.
Should I find myself again; would you think to love me then?
Cause if I can't, why should you, and if that's true, what will I do?
If it's not, what did I miss? Cause clearly what you wanted wasn't this.

As I studied the verse and chorus, it would seem your more into the rhythm.
I built my world to include an Us. But it would seem that yours includes a hymn.
At 3am, behind a cig and stiff drink, I can't help but wonder what it is that you think.

If I work toward my dreams, would I be the man that you think of.
After all I've been through, what I want the most really is love.
In my mind, that's you, but what do I know that's true?

While I'm drunk and alone, I sit by the phone, waiting for a sign that is you.
Cause all that I know, says I'm just growing old, and simply put this wont do.

Another night out and I'm drinking alone, cause no one would join or even answer their phone.

I'll say I had a great time, but I'm The Pretender.
The high point of my night was a shot with the Bar Tender.

With Cig in my left hand, beer in my right, I sit at the bar contemplating my life.

Was it the wrong day of the wrong week? Did I use the wrong method with the wrong technique; choose wrong mix with the wrong speak?

Ignoring the scars by my open wounds, I swear I'll learn my lesson soon.

No matter the lines, You've proven my Fear: You only see reasons why You Can't be here.

Things aren't quite so black and white, as the way they seem to be.
You should know, that I know, this also applies to Me.

I'm sorry I have to be the way that I am to you.
I come across cold and that's not the truth; it was just less damage to split in our youth.

Were I as welcoming as I would like to be, we'd quickly repeat our entangled history.
That cycle is no good! We'd ruin our lives, as so many unhappy husband and wives.
To hold on as friends, it just never fails, to come the times we both feel impaled.

I miss you my friend and all that was Us, but we cant go back after all that was.
I wish you the best, but don't want to know. I really do care, this is why I must go.

Shotgunning in the ally behind a seedy bar, sneak in the back door like under the radar

The ******* my mind, is not it the lady before me. I see the man in the mirror, but cant say that I agree.
She delivered her hit, a cold, cut blow. My knees gave way and my sight turned snow, my back hit the stall and I slid to the floor, wiped the blood from my nose and tried to stand once more.
  
I dust myself off and headed back to the bar, hoping no one would notice that I've fallen so far. I force a half smile, and say that all is well. Cause I cant just say "Hi, I'm living in Hell."  Or that I'm an empty shell, and Maybe yeah I'm my biggest problem, but who's to tell.

I want to go out, but I know I cant play. Cause no one ever gives me the ******* time of day.

So I try to forget it, if just for a while; the pain that comes out when I remember your style, your eyes your voice and the way you smile...

**** it! I don't mean to ***** but I'm still in my head. Control my emotions? Yeah, not till I'm dead.

You call me in tears with the tales of your woes, and ***** about stress in your life.
When I compare your stories to those of my own, they all seem to pale in the light.

Forgive my lack of empathy,  I've not your means to escape.
All I have are these six steel strings and the occasional too much to drink.

I'll also sit in the dark, with the occasional spark, to float on my own cloud;
While I sit in the studio and play my music, with the volume far too loud.

So crank up the amps, lose yourself in the sound,
drown out the world, and have another round;  Cause were pouring for keeps...

(*******)

So many times, I knew you'd be in my life;
my first car, out of school, a new job and a wife.

My first job just started today.
I know its not much, but its paving the way.

Just branching out, to make it on my own.
I wish you could see me in my brand new home.

But you're not here, its just me and my beer, and I **** sure wont be sober.
Cause try as I might, I remember the night, They told me "visiting hours are over".

Its hard to explain after all these years, how it seem so easy that I break down in tears.

I always thought that You'd be here with me; it never occurred that You just wouldn't be.

As I stand by your graveside, a train whistle blows. The wind picks up and the sky is a glow.

So many things I was longing to say.
I hope you are right, that well meet again someday.