i
don't
want to
think about
what i have to
say to you for the
time being because
that means having to
think back to everything
and all the emotions rise up
again and i don't know if i can
handle that right now in the midst
of all things complicated coated heavily
with all your lies and all the things you hide
because that means having to let go of it all, and
having to let go of you and to be honest, i don't know
if i am completely ready to do that, to lose you for more
than a lifetime, to lose you forever, for infinity, and to say goodbye