When all of my words are said
and there's nothing left to say
from the long nights of decisions
neither of us were ready to face
or the early mornings i sat and thought
and tried to contemplate
whether or not I should end it
If the sunset had something else to say.
Should I just wait for the stars to convince me we're right
if i know the sun will convince me otherwise?
You held my hand
and gave me space
told me you'd wait if waiting
is something I'd fake
And I won't lie
I'll probably miss you every night
But by the time the sun comes up
and burns my eyes
I'll remember why I decided we aren't right.
Either way, I'll push what i want aside
because its not fair to you
that I can't make up my mind.
So I'll end it now
while I still can
tell you that I feel nothing
not even when you're squeezing my hand
And when the sun goes down
and all that I'm left with are the stars
I'll hold myself back from calling you
Because I've seen how this all ends
And I'm not ready to watch it begin

"Why am I so sad?" he'd say,
those warm wet tears freezing the clay
"I've tried so hard, yet gotten nowhere", he'd scream
When he was my signpost.

So concerned of being lost, that he dropped the map.
Without thinking, he ran, into the dark.
Those warm wet tears still freezing the clay.
Ruining my dream.

Not once did he stop, still trying to get out,
all he was able to do was moan and weep,
which only ever plunged him ever more deep.
Ruining my dream.

In my youth I never once stopped him,
never helping him find that muddy map,
so trampled upon by fear and doubt.
I'd just watch.

Now the tears are my own,
It's me running, my map dropped
My signpost broken, hanging.
No one is stopping me.

I don't know how greedy that makes me,
Or any human,
The fact that we cry over the dead because it's they
That no longer provide us our dreams.

We've only cared about ourselves, so stop them.
The running, rest their feet.
Wake up to give them their chance of a dream.
**Maybe then I'll sleep.