i feel lost
i let it go
i want love
i let it go
i feel not enough
i let it go
i don't work hard
i let it go
i'm afraid
i let it go
i'm lonely
i let it go
i'm not sure if i should be doing this
i let it go

i am completely lost in life
i let it go

Anger is not real
Just a combustion
Of different colors
A bomb
Of pain
Sadness
Stress
Trauma
Bottled up
Emotions
Exploded
Inside me

All at once
And my anger
Tells the story
Of everything that came before
And put together the ragged boat
That hit tall spiky rocks
And drowned under tsunamis

The confusion
Emptiness
Loss
Trying to figure out
My way through life.

People tell me I'm mot,
But I am alone
When I am down,
No one will pick me up
No one will save me
When I am lost,
No one will find me
When I cry,
No one wipes my tears
When I am heartbroken,
No one will mend my heart
When I am alone,
No one will ease my solitude.
When I am at my worst,
No one will love me

That's how I feel about you
When you hurt me
When you lied to me
When you insulted me
When you used me
When you manipulated me
When you made fun of me
When you broke my heart
When you made all of it my fault
When you told all your friends
You were cutting me out of your life
When you called me a ******* monkey

And now you wanna be friends?

I have nothing left to feel
Theres no more tears to cry
I am always in a rut
Trying to carve my ******* way out
And I am angry

now that I think about
I never felt comfortable
in my own skin
I think people
overreact to how dark I am

I'm blind
to my own skin color
cause when I look
at myself in the mirror
I see a thousand words
and I don't
see myself
and my image
feels like
a snapshot
it's an illusion

I'm not seen as a person
not really.
I am a lot of things
I am deep

I am so many words
that I'm indescribable.

And I am secret-
no one knows who I am

So please
don't invalidate me
when I tell you
that no one
loves me.

when i was younger i
wanted to be like you

but now i want to just
go back to being myself
everything was perfect
before i brainwashed myself
to thinking you were

i did the things you did
i said the things you said
i trashed the core of my being
to fill myself with you
and now that's left me empty
feeling like trash
feeling used up

i feel like the color gray
i don't know who i am anymore
i can't trust what you say
i slowly get better day by
day i ignore the dismay
and fill myself up with
sunshine so that i am happy

with my life in a strange way.

i am almost fully grown
although my soul is poorly sewn
there is not much that i own
i'm myself when i'm alone
i don't feel at home at home
in this lonely house i roam
i am not that girl
i am a whirlwind
i am a model
i am the engine
i am a throttle
i'm a magical trapped spirit
i'm a genie in a bottle
i am darkness, i am sad,
i am depressed, i am mad
but i am not that girl
that girl you once had
my innocence has run dry
my naivety is buried
over layers of affairs hurried
my brain is slightly scurried
my vision is kind of blurry
inside of the reflection
i am becoming human
lost touch with the connection
of the essence of what it meant
to be a child
i had no protection
a victim of erections
from boys that scour the internet
their mouths foaming wild
but i am not that girl
who is young and naive
and easily manipulated
i am not that girl
who is desperate
i am not that girl
who thinks she is worthless
i am a similar girl
but a different girl
i am not that girl anymore
i am
lonely
hurt
sad
broken
but i am
strong
i have a will
i am older
i am wiser
im
a little
more mature
i am slowly leaving
my past behind
because
i am not that girl anymore

they appear
like giant black specs
in the corner of my eyes
peeking behind doors
hiding under beds
they are our fear
we do not feel
they are the pain
we shove, hide,
and push away
they are the black holes
in our minds

Id rather dig my grave and have a place to stay, rather than wandering around aimlessly
Someone please tell me what pill I can take
So I can die painlessly
I dont ever think ill heal from what you did,
Our love is a child that died young, and never got a chance to live

Hunger feels like emptiness
Is it in my stomach or in my soul?
Either way, id feel empty
The loneliness swallows me whole
Everything i have is worthless
Everything i want is far
You dont know you left me broken
Burning inside like a star
I wish i could **** myself
Just to stop feeling this pain
But ill just go to hell
And life after death would be the same

Id rather dig my grave and have a place to stay, rather than wandering around aimlessly
Someone please tell me what pill I can take
So I can die painlessly
I wish that i could be happy, and live life shamelessly
I dont ever think ill heal from what you did,
Our love is a child that died young, and never got a chance to live

happiness is not chemicals running through me

or lustful desires

happiness is simple

happiness is not hedonic

true happiness comes after a long day of work

when all those things on your to-do list is finally done

and you get to relax

I feel so happy

i feel damaged
lost and confused
i don't really know
what's important to me
i'm like liquid
flowing one direction to the next
what is a priority?
what do i spend my time doing?
what do i focus on?
i don't even know.
is it exercise? or to love myself?
self-care? learning a coding language?
should i strive to be "the best,"
even though i don't know what that is?
should i compare myself to my ex
who was always "perfect"
and try to out do everything he does?
should i focus on my religion
my faith, beaten and battered,
barely existing anymore?
or should i search for a partner
to put all my burdens on
just to end up used and heart broken?
should i go to therapy
like everyone tells me to
so i can pay money off my insurance
for someone to invalidate me
constantly being triggered
as i try to find the "right one"
should i focus on my family,
or rather, leaving this chaotic house
this messy marriage i witness
should i keep applying to jobs
just to be ignored
over and over again?
should i post things online
for them to get no views
and leave me feeling embarrassed
like there's no point in trying
anything in life anymore.
or should i just do
whatever the hell i want
and see where it takes me?
base things off my
ever-confusing, painful emotions
so i can just feel
a little bit of pleasure
i just select
a couple of things i feel are important
and stick to a consistent routine
and doing that
had really made me feel
rigid.

but what else am i to do?

Im so tired.

Im going after things
I thought I wanted
I feel *****
My tongue is dry
I dont know who i am anymore
I dont know how im going to make it

and then i wonder, what was the point of ever opening my heart in the first place
no first kiss, in the first place,
reminisce about the things that were wrong in the first place

something tells me that i shouldn't, but maybe i just should
i already knew you wouldn't
there's no chance that you would
in the first place

i don't wanna go back
in the first place
i didn't even wanna live
in the first place
i just wanna fall back
into the sky
i wish i could fall
right into heaven
that's the first place

the first place
i was in
the first place
i ever sinned
i always lose
i never win
i want to end
so that i can begin

the first place
i ever lost
the first pain
i ever caused
i am exhausted
i first started falling
when we first met
and the crash and burning
it leaves me withered
thinking of the first thing
i can't forget.

longing,
singsonging,
and not feeling
any belonging
no consequences
for any the wronging

not feeling belonging
always do the wrong thing
everything is song sing
tired of these long things
waiting for so long i linger
licking on my *******

always sing song but no singer

Can't say that I'm glad
that you don't know what we had,
is it something good or bad?
I find myself becoming mad.

In our past life, and in our future
I would've gave you so much more
since you wanna penny pinch with your heart,
I'll take nothing more.

Take me away,
from this terrible place,
can't understand how this is made of love
and I know we'll never make love.

when will I have sweet love
he looks into my eyes
and stares so deep
knowing I am the one
it all feels
like a perfect song
and the blissful emotions
rise and fall
as all I've ever wanted
falls right into my hands.

when will I be taken care of
when will I be
given everything
that no one ever gave me
when will someone love me
without hurting me
when will they say
"I love you"
and mean it?

when will I feel safe
to share my body
and sexuality
with another person
when will I
be able to relax
because he doesn't
make me feel any stress
when will I have
to not worry
about my safety
or constantly check
to see if I'm
being manipulated
when will I
be finally be able
to lower my defenses

when will I
stop feeling hopeless
scared
when will I
feel what it's like
to be inside my body
and not feel insecure
not feel men
look me up and down
like thirsty dogs
trying to aggressively
have *** with me

when will I be happy
when will I have
this love
that lasts forever
that makes me feel
like a little sun
is inside my heart
burning all the
darkness away

and when
will I have
someone accept me
for who I am
the fact that
I'm ****** up
I have mood swings
I get angry
sometimes
I age regress
back into
a child
I have kinks
that are weird
I do the opposite
of what I say
because it's hard
for me to be vulnerable
I have a history
of abuse
and being manipulated
over and over again
I feel tired
and overwhelmed
I am so
sick and tired
of being strong
for everyone else
and taking care
of everything by myself
all the ******* time
but then
being told
that I'm too much.

when will I
attract someone
that is handsome
so I don't
have to feel like
I always have to settle
and then made guilty
cause "looks don't matter"
"be grateful"
none of these dudes
are in my league.

and that's why
they're always
cheating on me.

when will I
have to stop wondering
and fantasizing
about all these things?
when will it not
leave knots in my heart
in my stomach
when I see
a happy couple
holding hands
and it brings me to tears
because I wish I had that
so badly.

I prayed for it
it makes me cry
and hurt
it looks
so effortless
they're smiling
and holding hands
and I just
want to know
the secret
I just
want to know
what's wrong with me
I just
want to know
how long it will take

I just
want to know
when it will happen.

i remember
when you said
you were going to marry me
and i really thought
you were the one

What will I be like
if I ever reached
100 years of age?

I imagine myself
wealthy
married
successful
on the brink of death

I've painted one hundred paintings
made one thousand crafts
pictured ten thousand things
that have brought forth value
to the world

I don't think I would have found the one
maybe he would come naturally
like so many stories
of how husbands and wives found each other
or maybe
I'd be with a woman
cause' my sexuality has changed
over time

And what is successful to me
is achieving my dreams
creating music
taking back control of my life
finding love
being independent
and being free

some things
should be kept private
left unsaid
not shared
not spoken

crickets
blood drippin'
hand grips
heavy epuipment

cause' i hit that blow
and he takes the fall
and i feel so slick
treading down the hall
i just take my pick
of all you sheep
it was written on the wall
while you were all asleep

i know him
i follow him
i haunt him
i want him

i am him
but i'm not him
i feel him
and i've got him

cause' it feels so good
when im in his mind
my villianous prescense
has him hypnotized
baby, I'm not your slave
so just save it
i don't know if this is man made,
but i'm a sadist
and no ones comin' to save me
pray to the god who made you

cause' it feels so good
cause' i hit that blow
and he takes the fall
and i feel so sick
treading down the hall
i just take my pick
of all you sheep
it was written on the wall
while you were all asleep

Abused
and misunderstood
I am so surprised
at the amount of people
who defend abusers
simply because
they don't like "crazy."
but they will still
use crazy people
and sleep with them
and treat them
like animals.
They'll ****
the crackheads on the street
and think something
is wrong with them
they don't have a home
for a reason.
That girl
with mood swings
whose desperate
that girl
who sells her body
just has daddy issues.
That girl
you lied to
and manipulated
and used,
she's just crazy.
And no one knows how she came out to be that way.

That girl
is a *** toy
and a waste of time.
That girl
is so desperate for love
she is weird.
She needs therapy.
She needs help.
Because therapy is so easy to get, right?
Just wait until you find the right one!

It's not like
I emotionally shut down
It's not like
people tell me that over and over again
while I have flashbacks
and go back in time
4 years ago
when I first learned
how to trauma bond

It's not like
the world treats me
like somethings wrong with me
it's not like
men know
that I am extremely traumatized
and target me
and take advantage of me
It's not like
I haven't been eyeballed
since I was 9 years old
It's not like
my mom tells me
awful things about my body
that I'm fat
that I'm ****
that I need to lose weight
It's not like
she's touched me
in weird ways

which is the reason why
we haven't hugged
since who knows when.

In the strands
of my DNA,
I am repulsed by her touch.
It's not like
these dudes in their 20s
are looking for
some hot
11 year old
15 year old
16 year old

What do you do
when you're a 40 year old man
who just doesn't got it no more?
Let's chat up
the ****
17 year old
girl

My ex
mentally
and emotionally
tortured me
and out of fear
I attracted
more guys
just like him.

That's exactly
what I wanted
ever since
that moment
he treated me
like a *** object
I slit the throat
of my inner child
and became one.

I'm always hovering
outside my own body
like an etheric spirit
observing
a beautiful mold of clay.
I am overwhelmed
by emotions
I've slowly processed
from years ago
I am scared
of men
in real life.
I am too afraid
to have ***
yet, I want it
so bad
desperately

I am afraid
to be
my ****** self
because I don't
want to be taken advantage of
I am afraid
of love
because I am naive

I am afraid
to tell people
who I am
because the moment I say
I have BPD
they'll think
I'm "crazy"
and make me into
that puppet
that concept
that everyone has
inside their mind

I only feel safe
in my room
holding my own body
I've lost
50 pounds
I look different
I don't know who I am
anymore.

I've always had
a negative self-image
and still do
I try to fight it
but it is powerful
the way he made
me feel so worthless
and disgusting
the way I float
near my own face

wishing
I,
the spirit,
could live
inside myself
that's what
we all
truly are
I wish
I could go back
to when I was a child
when I was free
when I didn't hate men
or fear them
when I felt inside my body
and my emotions
when I felt happy
when I believed in love
and never felt empty
but always full.

And the last time
I sought out love
I let that man
crush my boundaries
with a mallet
and in doing so
he crushed me.

I looked at my past
and saw my future
and decided
to shut down
my fragile heart
and love no more.

And now
I am 18
a ******
who has never had a real man
or been on a real date
but only lied to
and manipulated
behind a screen.

I am mentally destroyed
and have no idea
in the ******* world
how I'll find a partner.

But I've accepted
that I am crazy
and that I am a ****
even though I've
never had ***
and that I am
completely
and utterly
hopeless.

all my pain
can simply change
if i just
rewire my brain!

delete your *******
from my cells
so my life won't be
a living hell

read, write
exercise,
keep *******
away from my eyes

live life
meditate
wok hard
don't hesitate

it's so easy
at first hard
but a little steps
cover a yard
eventually

blah blah blah
anyways
the point is
you control your brain

when you stare
pay attention
when you think
when you act

are you aware
of this dimension
into metaphysical reality

i feel it all
i live within duality
a know it all
and i know i get distracted

and i say lifes not fair
but i want to be proactive
because i really do care

even if its only for a moment
and i feel fear
and i feel empty,
and i shed tears

now is the moment
to think about the years
into the future
where i'll disappear

do you care?
if you really do care,
why don't you act?
and you say you do act,

why don't you try?
i know the lie
i know i live
in a completely separate life

welcome to the future world
where trees are gone and trash is abundant
squirrels, mice, rats, and birds dominate the wasteland
it smells like apocalypse.

the age of technology
has taken over
and while the poor suffer, fight, ****, rob, and ****,
the rich go to their fancy underground bunkers
having *** parties and eating fillet mignon.

we have no electricity, no food, no water
it's world war three
the power grid collapses
we're all gonna die
except the few
that warned us of this
and prepared
for the future world.

where animals die
and humans live
in an earth destroyed
nothing but slums
and ruins left
because rich men
..and women
plumaged the earth
of it's resources
to make and more more money
to farm souls
and turn everyone
info a lifeless bot.

I genuinely hate you.

When she sleeps
When she is sick
I am the quiet angel
That cleans the mess
And takes care of her
And feeds her breakfast
Sometimes

I like when she doesnt let herself go
I like how she is when my dad is gone
She leaves me alone
Just how I want to be
Our relationship is broken
And we try to love each other
Through distant ways

With that housekeeper look
She is ugly
But when she is free
Like a dove in flight
She is beautiful.

I have a lot of hatred
But I have to heal my family

Even though all of this has been said
I do not forgive her.

How can I love someone
Loud
Abusive
Annoying
Toxic

I *******
Hate her

We never tell each other
"I love you"
she pulls me in
She has no boundaries
Im sick and tired
Of her

She made my life
Really ******* hard
But I feel bad for her
Not being able to leave
This disgusting marriage
And giving birth to all of us

I hate my ******* family
I wish my dad would leave
Everyone assumes I dont have one
And that shes a single mother
But since this
******* ******* broke *** ***
Doesnt do **** but work
And come home and watch TV
She might as well be.

Because housework isnt work, right?
even though he gets a break,
And she doesnt,
Hes more "hardworking" than her.
******* *******.
My dad
Is a lazy
Selfish ******* *****
Just like my ******* ex,
Both of them never change.

She
Is
So
*******
Weird.

I hate who she is.
Shes disgusting.
But she is like that
Because of trauma

Just
Like
Me.

We see each other through
A glass wall
Its fragile,
I know it all
The things you did to me
The lies you said
And fake apologies
Messages unsent

Things left unsaid
Cause all you do is hurt me
You dont deserve me
You only desert me
And I lash out at you
For everything you did
But you know thats its true
I know what you hid

I know your secret

I know your lie

I know you seek

I know you spy

I know your pain

I know your weakness

It keeps me up at night

Nows the time
To seek me out
If youre thinking about it
Come see me now
Your name, I shout
Inside my head
Heres the green light
Just go ahead.

when you left me
i longed for you
every single day
as months passed by
and i cried
and mourned
i was torn
i was defeated
knowing you wouldnt come back
not wanting to believe it
i waited
and waited
and waited
everyday more painful than the last

and i choked on my grief
hope was all that was left
but i couldnt stand the belief
that you were gone

its making me sick
i feel so empty
i want to go back
to the time
before you murdered
who i was.

i lost my self
i lost my religion
i lost my life.

i lost you.

and when i was with you
that's when everything was perfect.

my life has been a downfall
i did not want to live anymore
but here i am
despite it all
not killing myself.

but the road ahead
is IMMENSE suffering.
it takes all my strength
to go on like this

living imperfectly

i am alive

and this sick,
nerve wracking,
perfectionism
is deeply rooted in me
like a ****.

i am living!
i am alive!

with a deep void inside myself
an internal hunger
oh god, why do i do it?!
it eats me up
its a black hole

so far
living life
has not been worth it

yet i fight
for no reason.

if i give up
what good would that do?

maybe
just maybe
i'll have the power
to make it perfect
all over again.

I hate it
I am
A perfectionist
In the worst way
Possible.

Trying to go
Back in time
To restart my life
And make everything perfect.

Trying to fix other people
And make them perfect.
I dont know
How to stop.

I dont want to be
Who I am.

A life full of tears.

Does it break you
To imagine me
Crying all night
To make the pain stop?

I cried myself to sleep
And woke up depressed
Like a block on concrete
Upon my chest

I questioned God
And begged him to make it stop
I rotted away in my bed
I felt like I was dead

For months, I felt empty
And I couldnt eat
My whole body was numb
And my heart didn't beat

No one saved me
No one helped me
And it left a void in my chest
I keep trying to feel

Im detached from reality
And nothing is real
Theres gaps in my memory
Some parts are blank

I'm mentally ill
And have you to thank
You broke my heart
And broke my soul

You made me feel worthless
And I sacrificed myself
I ditched my own God
To worship you

I was unconscious
You destroyed me
And everyone thought
It was funny.

My moods are unstable
It took years to gain control
Like navigating an ocean
When your ship is full of holes

It all went to my head
It would painfully ring
When words couldn't be said,
The migraines would sing

I need you so bad
That I wanted to die
You make me so wet
And without you I'm dry

Without you I'm nothing
I'm simply your slave
I'm addicted to you
You're all that I crave

I let you abuse me
Until I lose my mind
And the monster within me
Developed within time.

I wanted to ****** you
With all of my heart
The light within me
Shadowed by the dark

I fantasized about it
Your blood on my hands
Your body an object
That I control

The light and the dark
Is what makes me whole
You ruined my life
You tortured my core

And now I don't know
Who I am anymore.
By going within,
By exploring the deep,

I know who I am.
Inside me it sleeps.
The person I am
Is you.

i feel like all the pain i held onto is releasing itself like a tight, sore, overworked muscle

I feel like I'm standing in the middle of a bridge that's burning on both ends.

I feel angry at men, and society, and my ex, and myself, and God, and the world, and everything.

The anger is like a bitter fire that's warm, that builds up inside but doesn't get quite hot enough to burn me.

At this stage in life, I finally feel like an adult.

I have a ton of **** to figure out and do by myself. I have to figure out how to get a place and pay rent and apply to jobs and get experience.

Because that's what being an adult is, right?

I was always independent, and I love my independence, but this is one of those moments where people say they wish they were a kid again when life was good and they didn't have to get their *** up and do ****.

My life wasn't good as a kid.
It's turning good now.
I guess.

I just feel the burn
of having to work my *** off
my entire life
and not get a slap on the back.

I'm putting in 100% effort and getting nothing for it.

I complain about that in my mind
But nobody will ever really know
and nobody will ever really care
All I can do is write poetry about it.

The truth is
is that I'm slowly letting go of my grudges.
And that drives me insane.
My mind is fighting tooth and nail to become livid!

fake me
i read the words on the screen
through other peoples eyes
i tell myself i'm being authentic
like everyone else,
i lie

but i don't know who i am
i'm feeling middle-aged
and my sexuality and soul
is feeling pretty caged

i'm feeling pretty fake
so fake me
mistake me
misplace me
or take me
away

somewhere far with all my things
i wanna be a stray
i wanna make love in an open land
and run my fingers through the sand
no one in this world will understand
me except my man

Always have the slight fear
that you're watching me
your prescense doesn't disappear

To me, your shy voice is clear
whispering inside my ear
I want you closer, I feel you near

I want your hands on my skin
I want to feel your gentle lips
I feel you strong deep within

Can't get a grip, I let it slip.
I crave your essence, I need a sip
Your love's a wire, I always trip

You are gone
You don't know I'm here
I think I'll get used to it

So much love lost
memories cold
in the attic of our minds
I would love
to talk to you again
but I know
it's a waste of time.

I remember
your sweet smile
when we were in love
I was naive
and the world was bright
I thought I had it all.

And now
and it's as if
I live between
then and now
who I was
and who I am
are a girl
and a woman
with a long distance
between them.

Elephant me
Elephant you
Elephant she,
Elephant you, who?

I'm the elephant in this room
In a cage

**** and blood
On the floor
Bang my head against the doors
Metal bars and peanut shells
For an elephant, it's a living hell.

Fleshy beasts
Sit and stare
I'm having a nightmare, I'm scared
I'm the elephant within this cage
Kids think I'm fluffy and that I don't rage.

No ***, no sleep,
This is how they keep me.
The drugs are the only thing that make me sleepy
But the humans are the only ones who are sleeping,
And other elephants are the only ones worth seeing

If I'm not reading, I'm too busy weeping
My blood, sweat, and tears, they keep cleaning

I'm too stressed out to start eating
And they whip me in the knees,
I'm a weakling.

Getting thin,
Growing old,
Iron's hot,
But I'm cold
Breathing in
Dust and mold
Party hat
Feeling bold

Elephant me
Elephant you
Elephant she,
Elephant you, too?

I'm an animal,
And a clown.
And my skin's not the only thing that's gray
And brown.

I look down
My heart pounds
I cant hear the sound, I'm deaf
And I can barely take a breath
Cause the air is thin like death
But I'm a wearing a pretty wreath


EYEBROWS
BRAIN COLLAPSE
FLASHING LIGHTS
BARS BENT
CANDY
FENTANYL
CIRCUMVENT
MONKEYS SCREAM
PEOPLE HAVE ***
M&MS
SYNONYMS
INDIVIDUALS
IDIOMS
IDIOTS
PENDULUMS
TIME SWINGING
GRANDFATHER CLOCK
SOMEDAY
I'LL BE FREE
A SUNDAY
MY ELEPHANT
MAN WITH ME
ONE KID
AND A BALLOON
ELEPHANT DEATH, SHE DIES TOO SOON
AMAZON
POSTERCARD
ELEPHANT STICKER BREAKS HER HEART
ELEPHANT MAN
ELEPHANT KIN
BRAIN TINY, SKIN TIN
ELEPHANT ME,
ELEPHANT YOU
ELEPHANT SHE
ELEPHANT TOO.

ELEPHANT FREE.

My love
Come back to me
Im sorry for
Running away in tears,
And I don't know what to expect.

If I talked to you,
Would you welcome me with open arms?
Would you say the same things you said before?
I know you don't love me anymore

Oh, my love,
It's the only thing I've ever wanted
And not having it leaves me haunted
Im turning into a sunflower, getting jaundice
Turning colorful, turning yellow

Getting sick and becoming mellow
Tell your lover I said "Hello"
I'll stay watching from my meadow
While you and her settle
Im blowing steam like a kettle
I'm so hot for you babe

My love
Please come back to me
I miss the snickering,
And the bickering
And the times you made me mad

But I remember the lying,
And the crying,
And the times you made me sad

But oh how I miss the good days,
The average days,
No they weren't so bad.

And yes, I am truly mad.

Because I still love you
And adore you
Like the time never passed.

I can't leave the past in the past,
Oh, please just come back.

A beauty
with curves
and skin
brown
like the earth
mixed with clay
and her eyes
shaped like big almonds
with eyelashes
like black butterflies
fluttering
on her face
her ******* are milky
her waist
is wide
her hips
are even
with a gap
between her thighs
her lips
are luscious
she kills
with her smile
her gaze
is deadly
her legs
are long
she looks
like a painting
she walks
with grace
her flesh
is glowing
the world
is erased
when she dances
its hyponotizing
when she stops
time freezes
with her playful feet,
and her hands so neat,
she flirts
and teases.

when I saw my name
I felt a surge of electricity
I was shocked
at my own power

the door is open
and the sounds of voices like babbling spirits
fill the hallway

people are around me in my home
my heart treats them like strangers
it pains me in a subtle way

i crave the soft touch of a man
being on his warm body
i fantasize about his kiss

i want someone

someone who fills me
someone who doesn't make me feel alone

I used to be in love
I used to be connected to you
I'd wake up ready for your message
patiently waiting for you to get back to me
even though we were far away

glass shards in my bed
reflect my body and skin
make me bleed and itch
broken memories in my head

simple
a story told time and time again
a classic
a repetitive renaissance
of the same old thing
i'd like to break the boundary if this box.

killing it like a guillotine.
which is not contemporary at all

I wanna take take care of you
I wanna share with you
all of my love
all of my joy

and touch your hair
look into your eyes
your skin so fair
I'm mesmerized

this feeling is a rush for me
I know that that is chemical
but really, it's the love for me
I am not bound physically

I'll love you when my *** drive is high
and till' I'm old and till I die'
I'll love you at my highs and lows
you're my best friend— you mean the most.