locusts in my throat
for years i couldn't figure out what was wrong with me
it festered inside my head
thousands of voices
simulating schizophrenia
the irritation
the regret

all i had to do
was use my voice
and say The Things I DIDN'T SAY

i'm a bird
i'm a gazelle
with eyes full of fear

I'm the ocean of tears
I've held back for so long

I am pain
I am loneliness

I can't live right
I'm a hermit
in this house

i'm a bird
trapped in a cage
too small for it

i'm a great mind
living in a swamp
of shallow people

i'm a black hole
shifting directions
every day

i'm trying to make it
even though i don't see a way out.

you are a void
you are love
you are a parasite
inside of me
whose hunger never stops

you are
the single cause
you are
the only reason
and you have
so much power

you wanna be the king of hell?
well, feel free to rule my world
because i'm in hell every single ******* day.

i must be a satanist then
because you are god
and I've spent the rest of my life trying to replace you

my whole life
flashes in my mind
the war is over
i'm just the aftermath

i'm just the victim
four years later
i'm just the blown up buildings
being reconstructed

i'm just
the starving kid
accepting that she'll never be fed

i'm just
a person
in a dark room
typing on a screen

i'm just
miserable
i'm just
angry

and i'm just
alone

no one coming to save me

doubts and worries disappear
like fog blown by wind
but they come back again
zebras eating grass
how long will this mood last?

don't know when, don't know how
it will ever end
my dear reverend
can you tell me the answers?
i see crosses in the sky
god hides from me and i don't know why

my dear revenant
coming to haunt me again
i guess he wants me again
is life going as planned?

i'll get out of here
i'll write better poetry
maybe when my mind is clear
maybe when the end is near