help me.
for if you
unleash me
upon myself
i would melt the heavens
and you’d freeze in hell.

May He forgive me for my role.
and my silence when you cried out for help
from me.

but hindsight
lagged behind
by a year
and that’s why
we’re here
where
20/20
is merely a year

i’m sorry i failed to see
what was right in front of me
i can’t say today
you’d be proud of me
because since you left
and it’s been just me here
i have yet to reflect
or face what’s left of me
let alone accept the rest
in peace
and so it will be
till you let me feel
you’ve accepted my apology
then we can rest in peace

i’m sorry
i’m sorry
i’m sorry

April 25, 2020 3:08am

life is too short
for cruel words

it’s too long
with cruel words

i hate how my heart
beats at the same rate
when yours make me hate you
for being the best you could create
and when they’ve shown me the shooting stars
that are the look of pride
upon your face
but above all
i hate
how though they equate
less than half a grain
of sand
in the bottom half of my hourglass
to date they were just enough
to get me up and through the day
where all i can wonder of
is if my time will come
when you’re too late or

i give up

from time to time i go blind
remember?
the one time?
i looked at you and felt jealous.
i didn’t realize
and wouldn’t have
hadn’t you told me that
you did the same
looking my way
at the same time.

and isn’t it sad
and hard to explain
as it is to understand
two mirrors
face-to-face can
see bright as day, all
then their own rays,
black.

i don’t know how to act

hey friend,

remember, when the wound
was more fresh
than the in-season blood-red
fruit wet on my flesh

it’s five fifty-two
and i’m here
where the sky’s blue
is premature
and the moon’s gone
too soon
stuck with jail cells
for brain cells

with and without you.

what are words with no soul
whats a soul with no cords
who am i when no one’s there
and my pillow instigates
let my bed sell
my head on
the futility of rays.

     im not ok.
     im not ok.
     im not ok.