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absinthe Jan 2019
you don’t get me
so you don’t get me
my knowledge of you
is barely rudimentary
and rue is a two way street

why did you beget me
only to regret me
forsake me
for your sake
i beg you

forget me
forget me
absinthe Dec 2018
your fingertips outsink ships
my loose lips let slip

safety nets ripped
by ventriloquists twisted  
ripple effects affected
we inherited it
to trip or quadruple our
crippled-ness to depths infinite
abysses

if i’m not incorrect
those are my deformed forms
mine do detect
morphed to be torn between your two souls
as ours do so so well as well
how well illy we’re reflected

your heartbeat is ******
unredemeed and restless
as are feared our fearful existences
deemed rested contingent without exception
upon only our
respective
breathlessness
even graves can’t reject we the grave rejects

if life must be empty
my pens must be
its attempts at repentance
salvage my savagery by any means
just or unjust
just not at my hands expenses

and Father: take heed
beg mercy with sincerity

like sentences hence
life sentences end
and poets
us devils
from heaven
raise hell
absinthe Dec 2018
bored in a beautiful palace
with waterfalls and hands uncalloused
was a bystander when it all happened
and in their happiness
they struggle to understand
me
hapless
absinthe Nov 2018
You are not a breath of fresh air
but air itself.
absinthe Nov 2018
i killed a man today
yesterday  
he was a child
and before then
was once inside one
meanwhile inside
her childish mind
he didn’t decide
her body wasn’t his
or go on to dismiss
the one on her side
or rid him from her insides

yet now we’re here
and it’s me he sits besides
my hands slide up
and down
his bedroom
eyes

was yesterday not just the other day
what’s tomorrow but just another today
and why is it i can kiss a man
at the same time  
i end his life
absinthe Sep 2018
today i feel
particularly connected with
the plastic fake nail tip
that from its branch my hand disconnected
when it fell off of the bed with which it and i was blessed
the  days came and they went  
then the day came and they left
and my heart enraged felt neglect
like mine when they saved their own instead
and all that does change when chains react
is what the heart always felt
but the mind not yet accepted

and i set in ways with malice friends
took as so often do you
and us fools do by pride possessed
and watched them take what’s theirs as theft
sat meanwhile taking them for granted

and i too like it snapped and left an other half
scared half to death
and for the life of me
unhinged in my inability
to muster not
even one snake tear then again
ain’t these i see here
the same eyes with which she
summoned her last breath
begging me for help

i’ll take a life with slow death
waiting ahead at every bend
over this death
of a head
mine
wet with regret
absinthe Aug 2018
dear baby bro,

i miss you so much. so much so
it doesn’t hurt anymore.
i keep trying to be everything bahi wasn’t to me
i think about my approach
i had a dream two nights ago
you came up to me
and said you can’t ignore me
anymore
i got so excited
and squeezed you so tight and
even though then you said this doesn’t mean
things are the way they were before
and suddenly it didn’t
not hurt anymore
i still had you to hold.
and the holes felt whole

i know i have to reassemble
what i broke.
and if it turns out your heart’s
missing a piece
because of the peace
my negligence broke off
just know
right after i’m through
putting mine together
my heart’s yours
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