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absinthe Sep 2017
see
God
get me out of my own head
please
keep me out of my own way
i
stay awake to fall asleep
pray
i won't see the day
i see

but the week/weak
never cared
just like me
till today

today
i see
absinthe Aug 2017
i lie to him
he lies to me
side by side we lie
till i fall asleep
and he leaves

he always knows
never to come over
unless i need to heal
after his hands beat me
but better yet
he always knows
to leave when it's all over

so when the sky turned over
as did i when i rolled up
so lonesome and more broken
and less so because this morning
i had his rough hands controlling
my thoughts to claim i caused it

i hold them both to console us
and all fours know that i'm sordid
i hear him calling my phone
his tone shows me he's been gone

my nightstand dead men
show me it's over
and now i can't lie
or stand being sober
  Aug 2017 absinthe
saint
-5/11 5:48PM-
I’m sorry, goodbye.

-5/11 7:03PM-
I miss you.

-5/11 11:54PM-
I miss you.

-5/12 12:02AM-
I miss you.

-5/12 12:23AM-
I miss you.

-5/12 2:34AM-
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you. I miss you I miss you i miss you I miss you.
I love you.

-5/12 7:15AM-
I miss you.

-5/12 6:44PM-
I miss you.

-5/13 8:12PM-
I miss you.

-7/03 1:31AM-
I loved you.

-7/26 5:16PM-
I miss you.

-12/31 11:59PM-
I miss you.

-01/01 12:00AM-
I
miss you.
absinthe Aug 2017
the venn diagram of conscious decisions

to drink: achieved through a state
of self-inflicted unconsciousness
rapid.
pleasurable.

to think: achieved through a state
of self-imposed consciousness

slow

tortuous



the overlap: interchangeable
two means too fatal
in reality
insanity resides in the latter

i may be a sadistic cynic
but i am no *******  
i'm too selfless
or selfish
synonyms....

do clichés not instigate
infinite plagues

so why put off until tomorrow
what yesterday
could have hypothetically
assassinated all
my future-former sorrow

it would have been excellent then
to begin embarking on my end
though it's ok
i hear they also state
that never is never not better than late
and how i love to double up
on shots and my many
mesmerizing negative mind states

thus
once the ex exits
what next best exists  
than the first
if not its successive fail
the second in line
and what time most prime
to quit
more so
than me
while i'm behind

**** a sober mind.
absinthe Aug 2017
knights take shots
trying to steal my heart
steel it was till it was not

so let the sun tell them
no man's son can rob
what’s been long lost

gone
absinthe Jul 2017
inhale
exhale*
stop.

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