They always compare love to a burning fire
And say, " you ignited my heart into flames"
But you were the frozen furnace
The ancient stove that no one ever bothered to heat up
You were cold down to the core and I had electrical heat running through my veins
And everytime I touched you you gave me frostbite
I tried so hard but you were too numb
And sooner or later,
I ran out of match sticks to keep this pathetic excuse of a fire alive
Because I was the forest fire and your were the water that drowned me

You keep asking what I want
But do you really want to know?
I want the stars in the skies
I want the stars in your eyes
I want the thoughts you push through your mind
that help you not to cry.
I want you.
I don't want you.
I want to do
Something that makes you see
I'm not the person that you see
The person that I ought to be
And these are the thoughts I push through my mind
that help me try to cry
On the nights I feel I deserve it.
I want you, I need you, I long for you, have to have you.
I don't want you.
"I love you" are the words silently whispered to his neck
But suddenly my arms are wrapped around your chest instead
Lulling you to sleep
Forcing me to try to speak
All these words to you because
You want to know, don't want to know
I want you.
I don't want you.

I've always been jealous of leaves

because they have the luxury of dying
with the promise of being reborn
in a few months' time
even brighter and more
beautiful than before

    sometimes I want to die
but death is such a big commitment and
I've never been a fan
of permanence

I miss you
but
not in the a-piece-of-me-is-missing-when-you're-gone
kind of way
I miss you in the
I'm-okay-with-being-alone-but-I-like-it-better-when-you're-ar­ound
kind of way and I think that
that is a pretty healthy way to feel

It took me a very long time
to realize that I was whole

    and I'm not so scared of winter anymore

she was the woman he couldn't save
as he sits there beside her grave
and remembers how it used to be
when they were young, they were free
he just wanted her to have it all
he watched her slip, watched her fall
into a darkness he didn't understand
it was in the way she'd hold his hand
the way she'd cry herself to sleep
he didn't know the sadness was so deep
he'd buy her gifts, bring her flowers
stroke her hair, hold her for hours
promise her they'd have more time, maybe tomorrow
it wasn't him, he just couldn't see all the sorrow
he found fear in the freshness of cuts on her skin
and he wishes he could just say i love you again
he didn't see how she felt so alone
and now it's too late, she's already gone
pills by the bedside, too many to swallow
and he's never felt so empty, so hollow
a note wrote in shaky hand
begging him to try and understand
that this wasn't his fault, he wasn't too blame
a pain so dark and deep it didn't have a name
nothing caused this, the break in her mind
maybe happiness wasn't hers to find
but she wanted him to know
that wherever he should go
she'd always love him true
there wasn't anything that he could do
because he was already the best
in the life she had, it was such a mess
she didn't know how to make the pieces fit
the game was over, she had to quit
because the days seemed never-ending
it hurt too much to keep pretending
that she could be more than what she was
he finds comfort in this bottle, too much drinking
but it eases the pain so he's not thinking
and remembering
the woman he couldn't save

Its 6AM again and the cigarette laced ashtray is smoking
There's a joint burned down to the roach
Through the foggy room, lurching, tired and choking
I sift through forums seeking a reproach
Harold Melvin and The Blue Notes from the speaker, I'm forlorn
My eyes are red and I am in need of rest
I peep through the dingy curtains, the world at peace and I feel scorn
The ******* keeps my heart rapid in my chest
Feral cats quarrel and screech through the alleyway, maddening
Gentle hum from a depression creeping
The abuse of my body on these long summer nights, is saddening
A shot to the arm and finally, I'm sleeping