Pale peach haze,
Painted the steps of a lavender future.
Imagine clouds like Monet,
And a bunny rabbit foot near by.
I need a companion.

I woke up this morning at nine am
and traveled through all of Switzerland,
it was breathtaking.
Snow painted the mountains white while the trees tops colored the hills  
with speckles of gold.
Ground level,
the grass glistened in neon green hues. Everything was stunning,
everything was chilled.
I thought of you again today.
I saw the color of your eyes
Flickering through the sunlit trees.
I'm exhausted.
But the colors of maroon and umber
Dance by my vessel.
Unaware of their angles and curves.
Be weary of those who adore
The spirit of Autumn.
The frosted noses,
Or hot cinnamon flavored wine.
I climbed the astrological clock.
I spray painted the Lennon Wall.
I fell in love with you,
Actually I always was.
Pieces of me are ripped
And scattered across the globe.
I'm a paper plane,
Calculated to the pressure point.
I miss the feel of the cold air,
And the skin on your stomach.
Move forward free spirit,
**** the dysphoria,
And learn to be alive for once.

I saw Anne Frank's journal,
In the back of an acidic club.
The colors were blinding
Bodies upon bodies,
I feel sane.
Fulfilling every craving,
My tactics come pre-rolled,
I follow the sound of the drug.
My hand is cramping,
From glass shattering knowledge.
And the stoners dance once again,
Slowly beginning to rap in Norwegian.
I love you closely,
One day we'll be together.
I'm talking about the city of course.
Or maybe myself.
I'm rapidly transforming
And the rest of me is melted.
I'm happy.

The sky was red the night
Of my grandfather's funeral.
My friends came by
To get me to feel spacey.
They stayed passed twelve.
But I feared it was too late.
I crammed myself in the
Backseat
Again.
My entire body aches with pain.
I need to start writing
These ******* thoughts
On paper.
So they become my own.
I really just want
*******.
I'm sick of these feelings.
So I'm just going to continue
To flirt with death
And look you in the eye.
You're so beautiful,
So unattainable.
Yet I've touched you
Time and time again.
I saw you last night.
You looked frightening.
I saw my skin stand tall.
I knew then I have been
In love from the beginning.
Maybe soul geometry
And connective intuition
Followed by countless
Zodiac comparison
is inevitable.
And I will end up alone
With one million
Felines while other
Mothers marry off their
Daughters..


  
It's been you.


And I shriek.
For I am losing myself.
And I for once feel comfortable.

Bubbling, boiling blood.
Recited apologizes to the one
Who limited
To lemonade and ***** tiles.
I can never seem to get clean.
And as I reform and rebirth
I am strained.
The one who I sought comfort within
Betrayed me with loose hearing
And scarred feet.
And now I am bloated,
Filled to the brim with self loathing.
What if I never feel that way again?
Am I cursed to roam the earth
Feeling akin
To a skeleton
I've lost my skin
And my sense within
Now I'm ******.
Maybe you're not well

I know I'm not.

But I wish this departure.
Could have been forgone.

I love you.
And now I'm empty.

As chapped lips sting my
Cheeks I cry.
The night is colored in
Red and black and
Yellow in between
Hold on tight,
We're going down
Riding deep in the depths
I can't ******* breathe.
Maybe tomorrow I'm tired.
If the over dramatic
Over done leisure of love
Can consider
I'm traumatized.
I feel it.
And as I sing it, my
Melancholy flow
Blood drips from my ears.
And I stop and pray
That maybe I'm unable
To pick up the *****
Bathroom tiles
And not wish to be cleaner.
I am about to jump.
Don't catch me.

I was happy.
I lost each piece of my cold heart.
The proportions of me that made me creative.
Motivated.
Invigorated.
Eat my skin,
Drink my blood
like the red cherry wine.
I have to be in pain to write.
And you made it probable.
I have to be lonely to want to watch.
As you washed me in hair and tears.
Walk over me,
with your restrained ego.
I have to fill the void.
And like a snake, you held my
Hands behind my back
And induced venom into my brain.
I was stowed  
Within the belly of the hypnotized.
I trusted in you,
And I was swallowed whole.
But with you, I was happy
I was happy when you wrapped your hands around my neck like rose vines.
I was happy when you pushed me to the ground and broke my spine as if I were rotting wood.
I was happy with a knife stuck into my back, how ironic really.
I'm strung out on pain.
I wish to rewrite myself.
To leave the hiatus I have placed myself in.
Just..
**** it, I'm going back to bed.