Some people say that true love does not exist. It's funny cause I used to be that exact person. With having to deal with such agony of a loss of my own mother at a young age, reality became a part of my world. Love though, was never evident to me. Never clear, nor around. Hope was lost along with faith. How could I ever turn to bringing myself alive with feelings only someone else could give me?

It happened.

Struck me through many faults, and times of confusion.. I found myself to be fascinated and utterly taken by someone else life. It just gathers your feelings and throws them into a well that you will never get back. I fell deeply, madly, continuously, in-love.  But this was a love that had no way to be described or defined. This love to me became more than a feeling it was a sense of living, and to be without it would be impossible, heart-wrecking. It became my persuasion at life.My hope for a future, and my inspiration for believing in greater things. You did this to my heart . You filled my vains with something other than blood, but yet a poision that only you could make. Your love. Your taste.Your sound, smile, your looks, and just the way you walked in room making it seem so alive, i was captivated.

Love is so wrecking, and is so STRONG. It is something that should not be messed with . People ask me all the time.. how could you be inlove your so young... you have a whole world to meet...there are bigger things than this. What does that matter. No age, no number, no disease or death could determine such love that is unconditional. You see, its not forced.. its just there. Its as if you blink for a second and your whole world is changed. you feel as if theres a glass over your eyes and you know longer just live for yourself. You live to protect, to hold, to cherish, and to provide whoever that special someone may be with every part of your soul .

You mean the world and beyond to me. You mean such beautiful dreams to me. You soul brings me down to feel all the gravities of love. Your bright,your sunny, your breath taking in every cliche way their is in a sense of being mine and only mine.

Life brings us these mysteries, and obstacles that we must overcome to be strong and better than we could ever imagine being. Sometimes things happen that we may not even have the mind to control or explain, but to work over. You have always been my strength, and my biggest weakness but will never be any sense of failure to me. We must be braver to be brave, to feel extreme, and to experience the true meanings beneath compassion, and loyalty, and security. Once a love so strong, that a love must be stronger. You are my one and only . My fairytale that has no end . Your my storybook, and although i may be hurt , i trust in your heart that you will replenshish this love  and vision how our lives intertwine for such powerful reasons. We've had a love that cannot die nor burn out. So believe me , i will never stop loving you now , then , and after that. True love exists in the eyes of the beholder, and i am a victim of something so moving that no pull could break my longing for your touch.

I love you , I need you and I only pray for your heart. never give up.

-Jl

I'm gold and platinum
Then why do I feel like the mud, stucked under your ride's hooves?

You say you're a king?
Then I just became your crown,

Don't cast me in the box of your jewellery,
For I'm sparkly and shiny by nature,

On your head you should carry me,
Don't mistreat me with thick dust and dirt,

But if you wouldn't, if you can't, if you don't want to,
The farther you put me down,

The more I ****** your gold and glitters,
Before I vanish into thin air

her olive eyes swam with desire
as she gazed at this boy
this simple boy
whom she never expected she'd fall for
but who'd worked his way into parts of her
so concealed, so guarded
not even she knew they were there

love was a foreign concept to her
her past conquests were only that:
conquests
simple boys who flitted in and out of her life
and proven themselves to be just as they appeared:
simple

she was told that when you kiss someone
you feel sparks
the earth moves beneath your feet
and you feel as if you can fly

but she had never felt this power
she was told a simple kiss could hold,
dismissed these stories as fairy tales,
and went about kissing for the fun of it
and out of her desperation to become whole



he saw the desire swimming through her olive eyes
and gently stroked her cheek
he felt so drawn to this
enigma of a girl
and oh how tirelessly he strove to solve
the puzzles she created with her glances

"Kiss me"

she loved him
and she hated that she did
for giving into desire is not as simple as it appears
in the romantic comedies
from which she'd learned everything she knew about love

giving into desire means quieting your logical mind
and logic was the only thing she knew

"Kiss me"

he looked at her with tender curiosity
observed the conflict raging in her olive eyes
and wondered why she was so hesitant to let herself go
wondered why she seemed so full of desire
yet was unable to allow it to consume her

she leaned closer to him
the simple boy who had wormed his way into her heart
and he looked at her intently
tried to solve the puzzles she laid before him

she saw her own desire echoed in the green foam of his ocean eyes

"Kiss me"


she felt sparks
the earth moved beneath her
she flew
all those fairy tales proved themselves to be true

and oh, how certain she was she loved him

I prided myself in loneliness
But it was a farce

Ive never been dependent
Even when luck was sparce

To be fortunate enough to have been happy for while
Was my recent loss

Now I am but chaff in the wind
Or leaves in the moss

My prayer is for never to have loved
For it would not be so painful

Yet again I think one day with it
Is better then without a handful

My only wish was to have been more wise
To have not betrayed myself

Yet again the past is done
To learn is a my wealth

Mine only saving grace
Is there is some chance

That fear will go away
By you with just a glance

I sit alone in this room
Atmosphere dark and gloom

I close my eyes I ponder
Mind begins to wonder

I find myself in the woods
Alone with natures goods

The sun is high and stunning
A nearby rivers water running

Birds singing and deer prancing
Leaves dashing and shadows dancing

A peace becomes all I am
I am one with all of them

At home in this splendor
My soul becomes soft and tender

My troubles are now receded
Gods will I have conceded

My desires have no merit
For only the weak shall inherit

Perhaps alone now I must be
Whether or not I wish to agree

Mine own hand has put me here
Weakness made my honor disappear

This place plentiful and brilliant
Like nature I must be resilient

For now I will take it in
And realize how beautiful it has been

Perhaps one day I will be in perpetual peace
And maybe my pain will cease

What has brought me here
What has made myself disappear

In the end it only took one
Someone whos beauty I could not out run

All my life love was secondary
An emotion so powerful it was scary

I ignored I refused
For with that my heart could not be bruised

Through all of life tests for me
Conquered them all I still could not see

I have been challenged by the best
Still I did not fall as anyone can attest

Stood strong through all contests
And yet all feelings I suppress

Regardless of the cost
Myself was still not loss

This place teaches so much
A divinity I cannot touch

I’ve never had to come here before
But since you I cant ignore

Through everything I have beaten
All I’ve over come save for this demon

You’re the one I cannot shake
The one sensation I cannot fake

The one thing I did right
I cannot vanish into the night

Bravo you have done what nothing else could
If I could take it from my memory I would

But alas I am broken
With no words to be spoken

My iron clad façade
You put in front a firing squad

Always on guard
My soul now scarred

In the end it only took one
To make me completely undone

Yours Truly
Loving You Avenue
Kissime, Missmeana
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Dear Love of my Life,
You do not know me yet but, I am the love of your life and you are mine. Try not to over look me if we ever meet. Pick me out the crowd of beautiful women you see from where ever we meet, whether it be in public, private, or through a computer screen. Oh yea, and try your best to judge me by my personality. Look past the color of my skin for it may interfere with your better judgement of me. For all you know I could be white, purple, or mahogany. Once, we are together theres somethings you should remember. One is that I won’t completely hate you if you forget our anniversary. I’ll only pretend to so we can feel like a sitcom family. Second, my favorite flower is the lotus but I’ll settle for roses as long as they are never red, I prefer white or black instead.Third, don’t be what you think I expect you to be because I really love spontaneity. So don’t be surprised if for vacation I’d like to go skydiving, bungee jumping, or skiing. By the way I have of list of things I’d like to do before I died and those activities are numbers one, two, and three. Promise to never lie to me unless you are trying to protect me. Yes, I know honesty's the best policy but a little white lie never hurt anybody. I hate to be told what to do unless of course it is by you. So I guess I’ll be fair and not give you too many rules. This last one is a request of you for me, Spontaneously tell me you love me.
Sincerely yours,
The Love of your Life

They say you wish upon a star...
But, darling, how do I know there’s a star for me?
Or for you?
You see, there are just so many stars
so many people
so many wishes, darling,
How do I know which one is for us?

I know that,
if I had a wish,
I would wish not for a big house
nor money
nor the ability to fly,

but

I would wish for
your happiness, darling,
Because that’s all I really want.

But,

if there isn’t a star for us,
I ask for your heart, darling,
Because then, I can nurture you
love you
make you happy,

And then,

With your heart and your happiness,
I won’t need a star to wish upon.

Because you, darling,
you will be my star.

And broad Heaven’s stars will smile down on us below:
Our Own Heaven reflected in their eyes
while your eyes will shine more brightly than all of them:
We are Forever, darling.

She lay there:
So peaceful and tranquil it seemed
nothing would ever trouble her.
Her parents gazed fondly at their
perfect little girl
As the tears escaped their eyes,
Falling endlessly.

By her fifth birthday,
She had said her first word,
Developed a taste for chocolate,
Seen some of the big, wide world,
And recognised the thrill of laughing
uncontrollably.

At seven,
She made a new friend,
Fell out with another,
Read some new books,
And was always fascinated by her
geography lessons.

When she turned eleven,
She joined a dance class,
Went to France with school,
Baked some cupcakes,
And begged her mum to let her try on her
high heels.

Thirteen years of her life gone,
And she had her first kiss,
Argued with her parents,
Handed in a homework late,
And wished she was prettier, taller, thinner,
cleverer.

She was sixteen
When she had seen too much of the big, wide world,
And knew reality in all its cruel coldness.
She wore lots of makeup
And a fake smile to mask her
feelings.

It worked.

Until
She whispered,

“Take me to Wonderland.”

And shot herself in the head.

She lay there:
So peaceful and tranquil it seemed
nothing would ever trouble her.
Her parents gazed fondly at their
perfect little girl
As the tears escaped their eyes,
Falling endlessly.