think I've forgotten how to write. I know i have a voice. It speaks in my mind but its receding like the hairline I know yours will when you're forty and I don't know whether it will come back and I'm afraid that if it doesn't I'll forget how to speak to you and we'll grow apart like leaves on a tree in winter so glue a pen to my palm and make me dance and hopefully words will relearn how to waltz across the page.

Lovers passionate cry in the heat of the moment
"No I will not drunk drive to Walmart for chocolate" but I kiss you and grab the keys on a way to a night of regret only to find no car in the lot and nobody in the bed. You yell that this is reckless and I whisper that it is relief but I can't speak and your hands are at my neck. Water tossed and star crossed I am a civil wreck. Drowning in a sea of closure and still can't get enough. Emptiness vs solitude in these hearts I call home. The paradox of privacy and the everlasting need to get away. Running from lions,  skipping town,  jogging around questions that I don't know the answer to. I'm tired and tried at the court of course it was my fault.  Injustice in young  and in love. Sentenced with this timeless guilt as I plead for a repeat. Over and over and over again the comparisons,  the loneliness. The nightmares have stopped,  you're taking mercy on me. A white flag as the dark drags me back under.

You're making me insane by knotting your fingers in my hair,  pulling out stands and making a necklace of rope to lead me to safety.  I'm weak and frayed,  afraid and praying, no one ever said an alter girl was on her knees too much,  these bruises are temporary but I hope you'll stay forever. With arms held high above you are mine for the night and I'll make you shout my name from the heavens.  I want to be worthy, need to be worthy of your love, I'll lay down on the aisle and let the feet of a God walk over me  let the hands of a God take everything I have to give, my reason for retribution lies at the bottom of your alter covered in relations of relief. Only luck has guided me to you

So many thoughts are encompassed in my brain, swirling around and around, faster and faster and faster like a tornado that's going to destroy everything in its path; destruction at its finest.
There no place like home, say the voices in my head. GET OUT. I can't take this internecine anymore. I have to end this. I have to end this. I don't wanna be alive. I have to end this. I dONT WANT TO BE ALIVE.

Tris Prior dies

I'm trying to face this but the clock keeps spinning too fast for me to keep up with, the business end is blurred with ***** and bud and I always have a headache. The world is spinning and I'm spending all my time waiting for you to come home

I have a lot of poems
In a lot of notebooks
In a lot of rooms
**That I no longer go into

i named all the holes in my walls after you and kissed each of them with my every knuckle

YOUR WORDS ARE LIKE VENOM IN MY VEINS AND WITH EVERY SYLLABLE I'M GETTING MORE AND MORE INTOXICATED
LOSS OF BREATHE,
SHAKY LIMBS,
UNABLE TO CONTROL MY HEART-RATE
THESE ARE THE SYMPTOMS OF LOVING YOU AND I DON'T EVER WANT TO STOP

I sat outside until my toes curled in numbness gazing at the stars like they could answer all my questions, hoping they would rearrange them in any sort of constellation for my consolation instead of wishing on fallen death.


You set off an atomic bomb in my heart which is pretty ******* ironic considering Im scared of loud noises and falling in love but the ticking in my chest gets louder and louder with every step like I'm a walking paradox ready to explode

The piano is the poetess of a lovers quiet world. Like sonnets and symphony go together,  he was a note and she played him well.

One day I'll write your name upon this anthology
but as I lay abandoned in the garden of grief  coughing out smoke signals and vomiting up words I'll burn every **** poem
This is who I am now, a weeping willow
I flooded the ocean trying to save myself
And can still hear the sirens song
Mutilated lullabies
I see you in tricks of light, and in a blink gone

I have 99 problems and writing block is all of them

Loving you is agony in which I cannot differ pleasure from pain as my hands crumple up the sheets like talons snatching up its prey and I pray that he isn't watching as your lips trace my hipbones oh god it burns like acid but Ive never craved it more

Mother, mother
Where have you gone?
The sky's have stayed dark
The tide has retreated
The fish have left the sea,
Mother please!
Put my ill mind at ease
Give us a cure for this disease.
Mother?

You've forgotten how to look hate in the face and call him a lover.
Maybe that's a good thing

Afraid that you are to me as I was to him but oh my God **** comparisons

Wear your heart on your sleeve like its a ******* fashion statement

For the life of me I cannot possible fathom why you -- a god of nature-- would want me --a tiny grain of sand-- when you could have the whole ocean.

I'm afraid ive forgotten how to write

From the young cashier bad at math who counted the drawer wrong.  Good heart,  bad luck,  pocket pennies on her sleeve.

the clouds weep with me

ive been wallowing in a puddle of my own sadness
hope I drown in it

if I ever loved you at all
I will love you forever

everybody knows, everybody knows, everybody knows

time doesn't stop, it only seems to slow

so it goes
so it goes
so it goes

when do you stop saying "I wonder what he would think of this"

we exist
simply together
in pockets of happiness I keep in my coat
our love like fireworks
sudden, beautiful, fleeting
but
these colors wont last I know
my fear warp into a quilt that rests on our bed
an eyelash on your cheek
hair down the shower sink
the world doesn't stop just because I hold mine in my hands
im losing seconds of you to myself and im
JEALOUS
holding tight to something that isn't gone yet
holding tighter and never letting go

for a long moment
nobody said a word
the Dissonance crept in like ice
under the nails, under the skin
mouths frozen shut
silence again

and it lingered

the scent of a cigarette
chill of the air
the disturbance of something constant

for a long moment
we touched
for a long moment, we just touched
and everything was okay again

This aching,
its hollow.
I feel it bouncing between my ribcage,
hear it echoing down the corridor of my mind
what once were steady hands began to shake
flightless bird
death looks cold on you

if this is the end I do not wish to see it coming
but I can't unsee it
I can't unsee it
I can't unsee it
when a domino falls
does it even make a sound
does it wish to unhear the wind

Black hole
Swallow me whole
Wallow in it
Wallow alone

Devour me slow
Soak up my soul
Tear at my skin with your teeth
There is no ground beneath my feet

Icarus flew too close to the sun
I run, i run, i run