I dreamed last night,
With my eyes wide open.
Dreamed of running along,
With her trailing behind.

As I ran faster,
And the distance between us grew,
I could still feel her fingertips,
Attached to mine like glue.

And even though it was nearly dawn,
When I laid my weary head,
I felt the soft profoundness,
That I feel when we share my bed.

And even though I loved her,
And sometimes I still do.
You know that you're all I love now,
That my only love is you.

I know I dreamed about her,
When my eyes were open tight.
But when my head hit the pillow,
I dreamed of nothing but You all night.

No need to pray,
No need to speak.
No need for thoughts,
In the Ocean deep.

Just breathe in, breathe in,
Your consciousness is waning.
Your confidence is praying,
Your confidant prepared to stay.

Your heart is throbbing,
Your breath is wavering.
No need to pray,
The Ocean is taking you over,
Again.

Another wave upon my shores,
No more need for open doors.
Take a step into the shallows.
Prepare to leap from high atop,
The gallows.

Another step brings you closer to,
The Ocean edge is dropping still.
Another sip is all it takes,
To fall into Hell's open gates.

And fires beat upon the shores,
The Oceans waves are no more.
But still these waves beat me down,
Into the fires below the ground.

And we are the lost generation,
The end of time is all we wait on.
And still we think we are good.
You fool, you fool, you're breathing still.

On and on passes time,
Leaving us swiftly behind.
And still we wait for our last chance,
To close the doors on our romance.

To my bed I pull you slowly,
To the gallows waiting behind me.
Lay your head upon my pillow,
As the noose tightens, I close the window.
I watch you drop from up on high,
To the Ocean's depths we rise.
And we are drowning, though we stand,
I welcome you with open hands.

You'll sit with me upon the bedside,
Waiting til we all die.
Though poison tastes like honey and wine,
The antidote is hard to find.

And so we are the forgotten youth,
Laid to waste by father's troops.
And though their bullets make us bleed,
We trudge on through the widow's weave.

Through mud and blood we find our place,
Lost in our ***** tastes.
I thought that maybe we could find,
Peace hidden deep inside.

But still the monks say we must wait,
Lost inside this burning place.
And Father stands upon the shore,
Hoping we shall open the door.

Though Heaven's full,
We'll make our place,
Lost into this burning face,
And still I find you hurting still,
My heart and soul have had their fill.

So take up my razor,
And skin my flesh.
Leave no more, no nothing left.
Peel my skin, my flesh, my bone.
And leave me a rotting soul.

For Father stands upon these gates,
Hell burning across his face.
And the Ocean will take none unto,
The depths will have us rotting soon.

So float back down,
And swim inside.
I know you know,
I've got much to hide.

But with my flesh, my bone and sinew,
Know that I have forgotten you.
And hope that one day you'll find,
A casket burning with me inside.

I wish I had digested those butterflies,
You gave to me that day.
Rather than allowing them,
To flutter and have their say.

Oh I wish I had looked at your,
Wrists so scarred and fragile.
And known that my soul,
Would look like your forearms one day.

I wish I had told my beating heart,
To flutter and to die.
For now it beats at half the pace,
From when I first looked you in the eye.

Oh how I wish I had turned around,
Not looked upon the door.
For had I not seen you enter,
I'd have lived much more.

How, oh how I wish,
I had merely kept on reading.
Rather than watch, with laboring breath,
As you spoke your name to the class.

Oh how I wish I had never heard your name,
Or seen the scars upon your wrist.
For had I merely kept on breathing,
I'd know not what became amiss.

So I've never written your name into my poems,
And I've never dared to dream.
Maybe you are more to me,
And I am less it seems.
No, It cannot be,
That I have become so little.
How can I be strong,
And yet be so brittle?

I've never really thought of,
Suicide as anything but poetic.
Your face being the last thing he saw,
As he dropped the photograph and loaded his gun.

But lately I've been thinking,
That perhaps that's not the way.
I always said when I die,
It'll be because I had a say.

Now I'm thinking,
I want it to be random.
A car crash or a bullet,
And not a word from your lips.

Lately I've been thinking,
That maybe a razor is not the way.
Maybe a gunshot,
Is too violent for me.

But what could be too violent,
For a man who loves words?
When I've read your little poems,
And known that Love is War.

Nothing could be more violent,
Than the way you held my hand.
While knowing I was nothing,
I just can't understand.

So I suppose my death will be random,
But why can't I have a say?
If when you die is predetermined,
Then why die in any other way?

In the beginning,
I blamed naught but you.
And somehow i thought,
You never thought of me too.

Somewhere in the middle,
I got lost in between,
Believing you wanted nothing,
But friendship it seems.

In the end I was wrong,
Yet there's nothing left.
I'm a wolf in sheeps clothing,
And you've seen nothing yet.

I could say I knew what life was,
Before I felt my time slipping away.
But now that you're so far gone,
It seems it's just a memory.

An hour's drive,
And each time,
He answers the door instead of you.

An hour's drive,
And each time,
He says so much more than you.

So why go outside,
Go anywhere at all,
If every time I leave,
I think of you.

And why would I write,
When every time I do,
I write about nothing,
If I do not ******* write about you.