I don’t need help
Please stop asking me
I can do it myself
I know it hurts, but I can grin and bear it
Don’t touch me I’ll break down
I can do this alone
No I’m not crying
No I’m not barely making it
I don’t need help
But dear god, please help me

I was born too early
****** my thumb too long
Laughed too loud and talked too much
Spoke too often
Asked too many questions
And cried too generously
Being too much feels like a deep pit is swallowing you whole and leaving you empty
One day my too much will be more than enough

when I shut my eyes and hold them tight I can hear the buzzing of the cars outside my bedroom window
they pay no mind to the hours, the days, or the weather
just barreling on to their intended places
it is never silent, they are never not there
I wonder how there are so many people with so many intended places
with none of them being you coming home to me
your intended place

The clock ticks rhythmically around me, it keeps me awake while simultaneously lulling me to sleep. Your smile that slowly creeps from the right corner of your cheek to eventually meet the other makes me melt all the while hardening me into a shell. My dreams, keep me drifting from hopes to nightmares. Me, I keep myself floating in thoughts, a symphony of joy and sadness, all the while the clock ticks, you smile, and I dream.

As the warm breeze of early summer floats by, it whispers in my ear sweet nothings and promises of orange, brighter, softer days to come, yet as she flows past she forgets she is early and the cold, dark, hard days are still lingering on my the tips of my ears lasting until early slips away into today

As the cigarette lay carefully lit between your lips I couldn't help but think
****, I wish that was me.

One minute with you is worth more than an eternity in the heavens.
A minute with you means I can memorize the shape of your palms that ever so lightly caress my flawed body.
It means I can gaze into those sea blue eyes and see your pure soul.
It means I can adore the way your smile is crooked, but manages to make me see straight.
It means I can trace your culminating lips with mine.
It means I can caress your ears with my sweet whispers and declarations of my undying love for you.
It means I can touch you and without words feel your body radiate the words I love you.
It means I can endure the pain of this only lasting a minute.
But a minute with you is worth more than an eternity in the heavens.

When your hands flutter over my skin, my body trembles under your light touch.
Your being is illuminated perfectly under the faded street lights.
This is the moment I have pictured many times and many ways.
Your kiss is exhilarating leaving me wanting more, I feel helpless pushed against your body.
I have no control over how I move or what words spill out of my mouth.
Your mere presence makes me melt like honey left out on a hot day.

I cannot encapsulate the entirety of you.
You are a universe kept safely hidden inside your alluring body.
All I know is that whoever created you had the idea of perfection in their mind.

I am human, therefore I am cursed with a brain that won't stop thinking,
a heart that won't stop loving,
and bones that won't stop aching when I'm not with you.

3am is an awful place to be, it is not a time, but rather a place.
A despicable destination riddled with heartbreak and despair.
I do not wish 3am on my foremost enemies.

I watched intently as the sink dripped hard against porcelain bowl,
barely leaking, but enough to keep you up at night. Drip, drip, drip. This constant trickling made me wonder if everything in my life was barely broken, but enough to need fixing.

Until the sun sets for good
and the moon no longer rises
I will be here waiting for the wind
to merely whisper your name

You make me feel the way a cool glass of water tastes splashing down your throat on a feverish summer day. You make me feel the way the sun clings to the sky up until it's last enticing moment before kissing it goodbye. You make me feel like a long lost dog that has just returned home. You make me feel like a sleep deprived insomniac that has been granted a good nights rest. You make me feel like I am a minuscule bug drawn to your fascinating light. Above all you make me feel the deepest, purest, most astonishing love.

You're the sun and I'm the earth. I'm constantly drawn to your light unable to shift from you. I circle around you unable to break my focus, you're all consuming. You're the brightest star and beautiful light, without you I would not survive in your dark absence.

And even when the long promising days of summer fade away into hard cool winters, my love for you never fades only grows stronger through the seasons.