This love that echoes, in the chasm of longing.
  Whispers of winds, of lovers in a life before.
      Bound by a love that pierces the veil of time,
           Ethereal, Eternal, Fleeting Love.
              Two souls conjoined in purgatory,
                   beat with a single heart.
                      Forever bound, to conjoin, but drift apart
                          in this dance, let us hope we are given a second chance.

Meet me in the middle;
   for I am a dreamer.
Contemplating fantasy into our reality;
   wishing for a future.

Wishing.
      Wishing.
           Wishing.

Dead. . .


-Hopeless Dreamer

So many nights tears fell harder than rain;
     writing about you.
Used to look forward to death;
     To the day we once more met.
Yet, in endless agony;
     "He" made me love again.
So touch me, Hold me, Love me;
     So , I know I am not insane.
I used to be afraid to love;
     But, he  has me in love again.

-Sorry

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
♡┏┓┈╭━━╮┓┏┓━━┓♡
♡┃┃┉┃╭╮┃┃┃┃┏━┛♡
♡┃┃┈┃┃┃­┃┃┃┃┗━┓♡
♡┃┃┉┃┃┃┃┃┃┃┏━┛♡
♡┃┗━┓╰╯┃╰╯┃┗━┓♡
♡┗━━┛━━╯━━╯━━┛♡
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡­♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

"Hello"
   passionate kisses,
       grinding denim,
    ardent flames ignited by red sultry lips,
kiss me,
love me,
touch me,

"May I please get my coffee"

ʷⁱⁿᵏ

Heed my call,
  within the state of unutterable purgatory
     weight of damnation,
           demonic sins dance by ardent flame
                  in synchrony on a brittle back. . .

Alone,
   echo's reverberate
       from the night sky,
          tears stream the very essence of the soul itself
              longing for intoxicating paradise so out of reach

Take my hand,
   pull me out
     of the raging mental sea,
       cleanse and purify a damaged soul,
          hear me, see me, choose me
              please . . .
                     please . . .
                        save me from the world living in apathy,
                          let me find elation. . .



-ΣᄂΛƬIӨП

callused, dry , rough
    ugly. . .
      They smelled of sweat and grease,
           blue stained ***** finger nails
              a beautiful reminder
of all you do for me. . .
       his hand are minder of a life,
                a home,
                    & warmth.

Ugly is me,
  a reminder of how heartless
     and appreciative I can be.
          for each scar, is a reminder of sacrifice and love,
               ever so undeserved.

-ₕₐₙdₛ

***** old bench,
waiting for the 7:30 bus.
  reminiscing of running late and endless paranoia
    and the warm hand that said "don't worry"


Only god knows,
    why now I "worry"
-Cold hands.

I dreamed
   of changing the world
        I was wise.
           I wanted to change.
              To grow.
                 To Educate.
But. . .
then I found love. . .

-goodbye dreams-

Maybe one day,
I can escape the chasm of mental ignorance,
              Dance the art of intellect in perpetuity
                                             Time does not forgive. . .
                                                              It only takes. . .
                               The mind ripens, the body weakens,
                                   Swallowed by a raging sea of damnation
                                             there is no SOS, no cries, only silence.

Every flower eventually wilts,
    Every bone rots,
        may history be forgiving. . .

"𝐻𝑒𝓁𝓅 𝓂𝑒"
    Mellifluous thunder in the air,
         just another devout fool looking for serendipity,
              raise my languor arms,
                   for I fear solitude,
                        so play the secret chord,
                               ring the bells,
                                  send a dove,
                                     take this sanguine fool.

Help me,
  I fear being left alone.
        -ℓσя∂

"hello"
turn around
to see freckles and ardent green eyes.
I was in love. . .

I was five. .
then came the bell. .
"goodbye"

-first love-

. . .First I lost myself. . .
     . . .Then I lost my mind. . .
          . . .and then I lost my life. . .

-ignored my cries in my plea for life-

The womb is the safest place,
   The moment we enter the world,
        Beauty becomes an adjective for baby,
           It is in that moment, we are told our flaws,
          It is in that moment, we are destined for our own Greek tragedy
                    For in our quest to conform, we become deformed beings
                                                 a figment, of what we were destined to be.

I'm sorry,
   to everyone I ever loved.
     I am sorry to my mother,
        sorry to my father,
           sorry to my lover as he gazed down in regret.
               I don't know why. .
                    I honestly try,
                          I tell myself
                             STOP
                              STOP
                              STOP
                                 I'm sorry
                                    I remember the pumps
                                      The "Hold on"
                                         I'm sorry I want to see him once more. .
                                              I remember the lights
                                                 the cold white walls
                                                   under fluorescent light.
                                                       I will get help. .

But
I'm sorry I just want to see him again. .

-Relapse-

Elegant,
     polished,
              refined,
                  a mother used to say
                                   "be like marble"

but like marble I am porous,
  so easily cracked,
      broken,
        chipped
            scratched.
              each injury a reminder of  my weakness.


Like Marble,
  age becomes endemic of problem unspoken,
      I am replaced,
           for I am weak,
              broken and cracked.

"Mother I am like marble"

-мαявℓє

Growing up a pirinola was gold,
  watching it in spin ,was elation on earth.
        Seasons pass and an adult is measured by his worth,
             Cars,
                 homes,
                    dollar signs,
looking back I was fine,
     I was richer then,
         and poorer now.
        

-PӨӨЯ

Shes but 16
   trying to provide for her baby ,
                          she walks the nights,
                               full of ominous eyes,
                                   past smoke filled rooms,
                                            he takes her in his arms,
                                                What began in honesty,
                                                    ends in it too,
                                                                     .  . .dollars exchanged. . .

"What will my baby think?"


** Poem inspired by the poor young girls trapped due to economic circumstances I met and talked to during my trip to Tijuana

They tell us!
     When he stopped loving you!
           You shall move on , step by step. . .

    But did they know every melody is timeless,
            Every ocean breeze brings the smell of sweat, salt and rain,
Every hoodie, brings back warm cups of winter tea.
     Every sheet brings back the image of you laying next to me.


How do we move on?
𝐼 𝒻𝑒𝑒𝓁 𝒾𝓃𝒸𝑜𝓂𝓅𝓁𝑒𝓉𝑒

Time and time again, we all know the tale of the "endless sea of love".
little church bells in the air, wearing blue and white for purity!
Only to walk down the aisle in silence of . . .
. . .Our shame. . .
Stand at the alter , face to face, under the white archway.
Only to say "I do" without love. . .

-Love

Life is deadly.
People are what they show, not what we see.
   We miss everything, daydreaming.
          All you do is wonder why?
             Friends to lovers,
                Lovers to friends,
                   Friends to an end. . .

The breeze blows the palm trees,
   in a serene hot desert like the barren wasteland of hell itself.
you hear the sway , but close your eyes to avoid the sand.

and in the cold polluted desolate nights,
sirens, crackheads on the corner of gas stations,
crickets and roaches critter under starless nights in purgatory,

A single baby cries,
  hookers wander the smoke filled night.
men and woman play their life away.

welcome to my beautiful home,
where you get ****** softly by life.

- Not sure where I wen't with this one :)

Green,
  mesmerizing deep green,
    waves of endless emotion,
      freckles,
         sweet marks of perfection.
"hi"
   one word
     tainted
          yellow
             impure
                love
                  at 5.

-ιɱρυɾҽ

Bombs are falling in the name of freedom
limbless soulless children peer into the thin veil of the heart
only to find a populous succumb to normalcy !
Plague is upon us, the planet is dying
nobody speaks for the trees,
for we must satisfy an infallible thirst to destroy.
Yet they cling to the beads,
get on their knees
pray to a deity

I humbly ask
"where is god"

                as this world turns to suffering
                poor get poorer
children starve
mothers cry
and fathers **** themselves

"where is god"

has he abandoned us?
for we have become his greatest mistake. . .

I learned to hate. . .
  When he came in during the night,
      his hands caressed untainted skin,

I learned to hate myself. . .
   When I ponder and recall that I never screamed,
      not even a sound,
          was it love?
              was it fear?

I learned to shut the world out. . .
    When I looked at men and knew I was different,
           when I was told I was wrong,
                to my very existence.
                    
I learned to love. . .
   When I saw your smile,
            longed for your touch,
                when our two eyes met. . .

I learned to live. . .
  when two heartbeats turned to one,
      when my world crashed down,
            when my pillar fell,
                  when I screamed at the top of my lungs
                        only to find myself alone.

- Learned

Can you hear it in the air?
Can you smell it through yours senses?
She dances the sweetest dance in spellbinding dazzle. . .
  Dressed in the black burning of children
  Storms of tears weep. . .
  --Yet she dances anew affixed to rebirth in continual dance--

Grow. . .

Two fools chasing a ball,
   Under an endless sky,
       Filled with smiles,  
        And hormonal fixated eyes.

An arm around me,
    Hearing you breathe,
       Knowing I committed the gravest mistake.

Finally, the sun had it say,
   Only to find myself in an empty bed.
         Tap, tap, tap. . .
              “where are you?”

                   Tears are pouring,
                      Endless silence,
                        Tap, Tap, Tap. . .
                            “are you mad?”

                                      Days to weeks,
                                          Friends to lovers,
                                                While all lovers come to an end.

Some like solitude,
   but no one wants to be lonely. . .
500 square feet, quickly turns into a castle.
   needles and glass;
line ***** tiled floors.
   eyes roll back;
is this tranquility?
  
-I am lonely

Want every single piece of you,
want your kissing and your touch too.
I want you to treat me soft, but be rough too.
Friends laugh and say goodbye,
words of broken promises and bleeding hurt.
Hopelessly in love with you, I am deaf.
for baby I have drunk the poison of love,
for which we have no cure!
Yet I miss you,
toss and turn under the night,
when all the lights go out
it casts a shadow of doubt
tie me up
chain me down
throw away the key
don't let me walk
please. .
pull me in. .
hold me close. .
don't let go. .
for my heart has gone mad

-Only for you-

I remember the tears,
I remember the hurt,
I remember the fear
There was no food, no money, just yells of desperation.
Life was mundane, or maybe it was the hunger?
I vowed, I would never suffer , cry or go hungry that day.
& yet I did all three this week, its ironic.
You can have everything in the world , everything you dreamed.
Everything you wanted. . . but still feel so powerless,
life is a roller coaster, we are its occupants.
I will vow again, but that will just be lying.

I know you're looking at me,
but you don't see me
wanting me in the moment,
but not to stay,

this wound on my skin, it aches. . .

exposed, my naked soul
telling you, dress me
we jump without direction,
just tell me when, don't tell me no

unkept promises, plans we didn't make. . .
I know there is no destination,
no road trips, no airports that suit us,
this wound is walking alone, with me, chasing you. .

I want to dance with luck,
and for it to tell me that you see me,
that you're coming back.
But its already stepping on my toes,
always a mistake from getting it right, failing you, failing me.

We know its wrong, but we always insist, on returning.
Knowing that everything breaks, everything aches,
telling you to sew me, back together,
just tell me, if you love me, how much? Because I'm losing strength.
you say you're doing this for us, but its just for you, and that's okay.
I tie myself up, in these memories. .  

We all have that person that tore us into a million pieces. . .
that makes us "rebuild ourselves" alone,
I want to be able to breath, I know I have to,
I want to change my mood, I long, I want to learn to love again. .

I know you look at me, but don't see me,
because if you did, you would not break me,
I prefer a wound on my skin, a cut on my arm, death,
for I say tomorrow ill be fine,
but I cant forget,
doubts keep killing me,
my soul is naked and exposed, it shows on my face
it begs dress me, dress me, dress me,
love me. .
I'm sorry

I was supposed to have forgotten you,
put us to rest in peace,
Tell me, why are you still in my head?
      "how are you"
Tell me, are other lips kissing you?
      "kiss me"
Tell me, if I'm still in your head?
       " tell me you love me"
Tell me, did you cover up our matching tattoo?
       " with her name"

Please, I'll sell my soul if I could forget you.,
   these memories, drain me, **** me.,
       Please, If I deserved this Karma,
             save me, save me, save me
                for I can not hide this pain of longing
                      I can't breathe,
                       save me, save me,
                             I can't live,
                                   save me,
                                       for this love is killing me.