The sounds of his sleep-filled snores, a polyrhythm.
To the echoes in my aching hollowed chest,
His eyelashes, beautiful, but a constant reminder,
Of what was loved, lost, and still in the back of my mind.
In this anguish of the sleepless nights.

He tosses and turns, in his slumberous shifts, his hand seeks mine.
Comfort and warmth, instinct, but not delight.
In his touch, my stomach churns in disgust, at myself.
I yearn for your touch, I yearn for your warmth,
Your embrace, that seeks solace against my body, which is burning alive.

This cruel irony, he loves me so.
This closeness, this warmth,
whispered lies of "I love you"
eyes that trace the ceiling, each imperfection, a reminder of this imperfect life.
Each creak, of this house, of words unsaid.
Each snore, a measure of my acting in this trance,
Unbind me from this torture, unbind me from your love.
I miss you so , I miss you so, please set me free
so I can love again.

Rosemary Citrus, the scent of you clings, a shroud
of broken promises, whispered words of appeasement.
Your mouth, a strawberry, ripe upon the tongue,
sweet, smooth and beautiful, but this tune is already played out.

Your touch, a bitter sun that burned away the cold.
Your voice, a violent vine that ensnares my heart.
The memories, untamed, phantom limbs of pain.
"you need to lose weight", "you don't try hard enough", "stop complaining".

Save me , break me from you roots that hold me down.
Let me feel the fire again, as I am burning alive.
Embrace me in his grace, his fire, his warmth, that burns you away.
So go, sweet young love from yesterday.
I love you, I love you, I love you,
but I choose to love myself.

The crinkle by your eye,
red flustered cheeks,
when your sly smiles starts to rise,
warms my soul.

Keep smiling, keep laughing,
your happiness, a buzzball of fun.
Invigorating, inviting & pure.
filling this world with delight.

Smile, always smile and be happy.

Caged bird weeps, in the shade of the saguaro,
Caged bird that sings a song of lamentation, for love betrayed.
My heart is filled, by the fervour in its pain.
He wishes upon a star, that is already wished on.

So I raise my glass, to stars and heavens above.
Pious fool, that expresses his desire,
to make his love mine,
Please let our souls become intertwined, so I can let go of this caged bird and its sad little song.

You found the hidden meadow,
enveloped in its fragrance.

So handsome, dark and tall.
Intoxicating thoughts that swirl the mind.

Please, soul don't weep.
for he is my moon, the stars and my king.

My heart is racing,
My arms are shaking,
Please set me free, for you belong to another.
So please, set me free,
let me be, free.

Citrus, rosemary and peppermint (from the hot chocolate you hate)
under the Christmas lights (of the mall you hated),
these memories, push them out.

Our laughter at your stupid jokes ( I hated),
stolen glances, and a given kiss,
amongst the cold outdoor desert air.

Poets of passion,
writing stories of love on our skin,
a language of desire and longing.

Your ink forever stains my heart,
a reminder, that I am not happy,
that I am not good enough,
that I am forever mourning.

My heart which longs to fickle,
it longs to belong, someday, find another.
Yet it is chained, with a fragile ember,
amongst your ink that stains it.
That refuses to die, that you are alive,
you are breathing, you are here, you never left.
( I hate myself)
(I hate myself)
(I am a fool)
I wish to hear your stupid joke, "what did the horse say. . ." (what a stupid joke) once more.