You're happier without me,
I know I wasn't what you wanted.
Please, say you miss me, even though we both know you don't.
Say you love me . . . once more.

The smell of melons & sweat,
from your cheap clean shampoo, amongst the dreary rain.
Two wet lips met, in your ancient truck.
We'd talk about our future, as I lay my head on your lap.
Time was trivial, just the thrill of eyes that may see.
I want to be loved,
I want to be yours,
In another life, we will meet again
amongst the smell of melons, muddy cleats & ***** rain.
I want to be loved,
I want to be yours 𝒶𝑔𝒶𝒾𝓃

I remember the tears,
I remember the hurt,
I remember the fear
There was no food, no money, just yells of desperation.
Life was mundane, or maybe it was the hunger?
I vowed, I would never suffer , cry or go hungry that day.
& yet I did all three this week, its ironic.
You can have everything in the world , everything you dreamed.
Everything you wanted. . . but still feel so powerless,
life is a roller coaster, we are its occupants.
I will vow again, but that will just be lying.

Across the room, you smile.
Hand in hand with your child,
her arm locked around yours, eyes bright full of gold.
"what a beautiful family" someone comments.

But I know the darkness, the hidden, the bad dream.
The tears, the echo in your soul,
that screams as you're trapped.

Their joy is built, on your pain.
Each step you take to run away, each memory that pulls you back.
The deceit, the despair, the life you built.
Your own punishment for pushing away what we both know.

Our love a vibrant tapestry of love and whispered promises,
painted black, consumed by the anguish in my heart.
this dull ache that blooms in my chest,
that rips and cracks at my ribs,
the truth, pushes my facade.
I am not okay, those instagram photos, its not me, thats not okay.
But there is not a world where we don't collide,
where our souls diverge,
the truth, reverberates through this longing soul,
you're better without me,
don't stay, don't fight it, run, take your things. . .
I'll be okay, I'll love you forever,
that is why I am giving up this fight,
let there be one fool in a broken love. . . so please live.

I'm tired of waiting,
with open arms and this longing heart,
this anxiety of hearing your voice,
this dread of dreaming. . .
of those nights, past, present and fictitious
I am tired of waiting,
until we meet in our next life.

Turn off the lights,
hide my flaws,
just love me in the dark.