If you'd like I'll stay until our death,
From the bees and rays of honey that ooze from the sun,
Under the cold dead branches cradled under winter stars.
I will always be with you, my love,
so love me a little more. . .

What I had, is what I did not have.
Perhaps what my heart should have wanted,
each love song, a curse and blaze.
That singes and burns into my heart
I hear you, hitting me,
forging me,
into a statue forever stuck in emotional wanting.

My love,
Tongue of vitriol,
amongst ripped pages.
Amongst unaltered belief of a winged partridge
at my back beckoning my faults.
Tears that stream, like trees with broken nerves
that never touch the ground.

This is what I see in the darkened hour,
This is what I see in the mirror,
amongst the pillars of the chapel
a figment of my imagination,
I am but a pigeon amongst a sea of doves,
incapable of words, incapable of love letters like Rilke the poet.
Only capable of vitriol at the tongue
scorning love, scorning life, scorning death
yet living it. . .how ironic.

I hear your voice,
  nagging "put it back". . .
I hear your voice
  saying "it'll be okay". . .
I hear you everyday,
  am I crazed & deranged?
I just want to feel your love and see your face,
   for a moment in time,
      when you are not gone.

Wasn't eating properly,
  lost a little weight. . .
Old pictures,
  smiles on the faces. . .
***** Laundry,
  perfume on the nose. . .
Clean Sheets,
  your arm on my waist. . .
your touch+ theirs,
for in this love
   we are not 2 but 3.

I look in the mirror,
10 years passed in a breeze,
older, fatter, a wrinkle begins to form.
Youth begins to evade me,
Yet I do not feel sad nor glad,
I am simply living, okay, content with myself.
Is it not odd? Is it not strange? That I no longer care.

I smell the air, as clean as a city air can be.
I feel the pollen, with its unrelenting itch on my nose,
I hear the birds getting ready for the summer heat,
I see the lovers who always cross our street at three,
I taste the honey, that you loved in your tea.
I smile, three years in the dark,
three years blind, death, within the darkness of this world.
For you are gone, and that is okay.
For in these moments I know you stand by me.