Have you ever felt the pain?
Not of dying, not of love.
Not of pain, but of a word with no escape.
It's silence is deadly, like an ardent comet full of expression,
devouring your mind, body and soul, never blooming into existence.
Have you ever felt this pain?

@ 3AM
melancholy state of mind,
  wishing you were,
    yearning for this real life simile to end.
      hoping today is the day I do not compare anyone to you.
        for I love you and hate you,
           save me from this ᴊᴜxᴛᴀᴘᴏꜱɪᴛɪᴏɴ
.

NAN
You write about heartbreak, then comedy.
Opening up, only to close yourself in fear.
You write about happiness, then about losing and longing.
As you lie and try to convince yourself, erasing your desire.

ADP
In those early morning hours, I create my own galaxy.
A place free of fear, free of losing, free of loving.
For every moment of longing becomes a star,
tainting my perfect cosmos with memories.

NAN
You create imaginations, mechanisms of coping.
You build your walls high, they make me want to climb it.
You build your galaxy, full of gloom and curiosity,
   a mysterious code I want to decipher.

ADP
Two kids lay in the stars, dreaming.
As if dreams could erase hunger.
Two adults lay in the stars, loving.
As if love could stop time.
Two souls become one,
Until two becomes one . . forever alone.
All that is left is broken, ugly and spiteful what is there to decipher ?

NAN
I want to see . . .
   Each window past, present and now.
I want to see. . .
   The happiness that oozes from your lips.
I want to see. . .
   The dark and unrelenting sea of your depression.
I want to smell. . .
   perfumes, coffee on your breath, and your 1 am scent.
I want to feel. . .
   the pain in your heart and the pulse of its song.

I want you.

- NAN & A Dead Poet ✌

Forgive me I am broken,
     I throw myself in strangers arms,
            for warmth?
                  for love?
                      for happiness?
Forgive me for being profoundly hopeless,
   for if love is a game, I ****.
      They took him from me,
         no green mushrooms to bring him back,
              no rainbow stars,
                     hard, cold, reality.
Forgive me for it does not hurt when a stranger 🄻🄴🄰🅅🄴🅂

115 degree days of misery,
  under larger than life palm trees.
    Sipping a cold crying can of coke.
       oversized sunglasses by the community pool,
          I hope they hide my gaze.
              lust at first sight, ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴇʀ at a glance.

Take me to the stars away from my endless state of misery,
Take me away from narcotic induced happiness,
       Hold my hand pull me out of the sea of demons,
              that pulls me back in, take me away.
Pick me up in your beat up old chevy, as we ride the cosmos.
   Tell me its okay, make the voices go away.
      Hold me tight, until the shaking stops.
Take me away, from this endless song of ꜱᴏʀʀᴏᴡ.
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊
┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ˚✩ ⋆｡˚ ✩
┊ ┊ ┊ ✫
┊ ┊ ︎✧
┊ ┊ ✯
┊ . ˚ ˚✩

Every moment was a falsehood,
    "I love you" is "I hate you" masked with wanting ; its cheap makeup.
         With his life ending, his last thought was remorse.
             Remorse for time wasted, cheap words, and you.
                Oh! sad little clown! "I love you" on the marquee,
                      what a performance, cheap, comical, old.
                          

                         -A clown named 𝓐 𝓭𝓮𝓪𝓭 𝓹𝓸𝓮𝓽