If I rip apart your perfect veneer,
   Disembowel its beauty,
      behind the peering darkness,
          lies a garden, with a fountain of lust
              for all you are,
                  all you will be,
                     is an imaginary object,
                          that is all you give,
                               all I get,
                                  want,
                        ­              & [̲̅N][̲̅e][̲̅e][̲̅d].

Your song enamors,
   every essence
      speech,
      taste,
      sound,
       sight.
Such a rarity,
   beauty that does not fade at any hour.

But, every dark circle beneath such ardent eyes,
fail to hide the black abyss of pain, wanting and belonging,
   for left as shells, I lost the fight,
      I am just another beautiful fool
           enamored,
               loving,
                  wanting,
                     yearning,
                       in the intricate web of lies,
                           so beautifully spun,
                             to think I am the only ❁𝓃𝑒

My pride was the lingering smell on your skin,
Day by day, step by step you paraded my scent.
   My heart, mind, body and soul remained engrained in your skin,
         until my vial was empty, and you moved on to the next scent.

Smallness is not decided by others,
   it is not preordained fate,
    under the endless bastion of the fathers heaven,
         it is what YOU see in yourself,
              what YOU say about yourself,
                    what YOU think is acceptable
                        what YOU allow of others
                               It is 𝓎Ｏυ. . .

skin does not define us. . .
  yet I was born two shades darker,
    the world decided,
       that credit is lopsided,
          that crime is not misguided
             & that inclusion is adequality provided
                therefore, exclusion is justified.

skin defines us,
  keeps us divided
     shows "true" colors
         I should be angry?
            but I feel ashamed.
               not of color,
                 but of the human ЯΛᄃΣ

Corks off,
  and the night has just begun
    insecurities dissipate,
        glass after glass,
            think of you my dear friend,

two boys,
  a love of soccer,
    kicking and screaming
      under the burning desert breeze.

Two teens,
      with problems larger than the world,
          one cool,
             the other forgotten,
                 yet you stayed,
                     and I ****** again.

Eighteen,
    I found him,
        rubbed it in your face,
            yet you stayed

Twenty three,
    he left,
      I cried,
        you picked me up,
          after each glass
            only to find beration and condemnation.
              you stayed
                 I left. . .

Twenty Six
  one last puff,
      one last drink
         only to retrace my steps
           "I'm sorry"
              silence
                I love my only friend.

please don't leave me
I need you
I need you
please f̶o̶r̶g̶i̶v̶e̶ ̶m̶e̶

callused, dry , rough
    ugly. . .
      They smelled of sweat and grease,
           blue stained ***** finger nails
              a beautiful reminder
of all you do for me. . .
       his hand are minder of a life,
                a home,
                    & warmth.

Ugly is me,
  a reminder of how heartless
     and appreciative I can be.
          for each scar, is a reminder of sacrifice and love,
               ever so undeserved.

-ₕₐₙdₛ