China skin
Ivory,
Blushing delicate rose at the apple of my cheeks
Late nights and an excess of alcohol gone
Leaving a porcelain mask
Freckles, normally multiplying exponentially in the summer
Frozen in an eternal spring, not yet brought out by sun
Not yet spread in continents across my face
Hair, glossy and spilling into curls down my back
Tendrils resting waist-length
Flesh cool to touch,
Not marred or marked or scarred
Pulse stilled under my pale, pale neck
Close the casket, and I am preserved
In a 7 by 2 world unchanged by time
With a finality that will outlive any legacy I left behind

Of course you're the victim
I'm the *****
I'm in the wrong
Obviously i should make it up to you
Because you're perfect
You're always right
When actually you're a joke
I don't like you
And never will
And when you end up alone
It will only be what you deserved all along

Paint my eyes with rich black kohl
Butterfly eyelashes
Heavy with fakery
My skin like porcelain;
Every freckle masked, every expression hidden
Lips stained scarlet
Doll-like and wide eyed
The emotion playing across my face carefully chosen
To make you believe what i will you to
I can keep every soul out, stay mint-condition, so to speak
Only if i pretend hard enough
Only if i am perfect

Stumbling through
Weary and war wounded
Limbs dragging and time clawing
It's way around the clock
When will it end
When will it stop
Stop leading me to believe in a change that won't happen
An alternate reality i don't deserve
Feet dredge up cloying mud and vapid memories
From the airless depths of my mind
And i am sinking
Losing time
Time is moving
And i am trailing
Falling to the exertion
Tripping over obstacles of human form
Still pushing forward
But slower than i did before
Oh
So this is the end

Her face is a continent
Her eyes are algae-brimming lakes swirled with sunlight
In their centre dark pools, you could dive for eternity
Tanned skin spans vast distances
And freckles mark capital cities
Her smile causes earthquakes but there is no one there to mind
Fine laughter lines form ridges that will later form mountain ranges
Degeneration will take over
Sharp cheekbones and smooth jawlines
Lose definition and second glances
A sea of fine hair, once a deep gold
Fades to grey and grows brittle with age
Time takes it's toll
It happens to all of us
But her eyes remain fathomless

Eyelids flicker
Under eyelash sheaths irises roll and pupils dilate
Hands clench sweat-soaked sheets
Clinging onto cliff edges of their minds
Lips mumble incoherent protests
Begging for a release not available
From the captors in their head
Until you are released, dropped if you will
The fall. The jolt.
The few seconds of paralysis
Caught between the paroxysm of colour left over from your mind's eye
And the cool darkness of your room
Your breath catches, your pulse slows
And you fall back, oblivious, into many hours of vividly shadowed dreams before dawn

I'm about to start feeling bad again
I've experienced a tangible expectancy
The past few weeks
It's like standing on the edge of a building
Knowing the low is inevitable