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Sep 2023 · 92
me cansé de lo básico
emgm Sep 2023
no quiero saber lo básico. ya me cansé de preguntar como estas cuando ya sé la respuesta. ¿qué pasaría si te dijera que quiero saber todo de ti? te lo digo con toda sinceridad.

quiero saber por qué piensas ciertas cosas y cómo llegaste a esa conclusión. quiero saber tus comidas favoritas, ¿quizás te gusta el café o el té? quiero saber qué te asusta y qué te hace seguir adelante. ¿quizás no te gustan los pájaros, los gatos, o los perros? quiero saber por qué elegiste dedicarte a tu campo, ¿te gusta tu carrera o anhelas un cambio? ¿duermes con el ventilador encendido o apagado en verano? ¿usas pijama para dormir o ropa interior?

no quiero saber lo básico. aunque sé que es importante, pero quiero ir más allá. más allá de tu color favorito, más allá de tu estación preferida, más allá de la canción que más escuchas. cuéntame tu historia. ¿qué te hace llorar a las 3 de la mañana? ¿qué te hace reír tan fuerte que no puedes respirar? ¿qué haces cuando te sientes solo? ¿has sentido la soledad? cuéntame de tu primer desamor o de la primera vez que tuviste relaciones sexuales. ¿fue planeado o simplemente sucedió? dime cuándo te enamoraste por primera vez. ¿te quizo formar una familia? ¿cuántos niños? dime sus nombres. cuéntame la boda de tus sueños, y quién será los padrinos. ¿o si alguna vez te has emborrachado? ¿como te hizo sentir? ¿y si nos emborrachamos juntos?

no quiero saber lo básico. quiero tu trasfondo, quiero tu historia, tus emociones, tus lágrimas, carcajadas, caricias, risitas.

no quiero saber lo básico, quiero saberlo todo. quiero llegar a conocerte.
est. 2018, revised 2023
Jun 2020 · 235
don’t rush
emgm Jun 2020
you still haven’t met all of the people who will love you.
- unknown
Aug 2019 · 207
a (midyear) resolution
emgm Aug 2019
i have met someone new,
someone, much lovelier than you...
i opened up, and let him in.
can i be okay with this?

his smile makes me smile,
his voice is a song i have on repeat,
am i crazy for feeling like this?
... and i know he feels it, too.

i dont think i can love him
the way i loved you,
but my mid year's resolution
is to try too.
Aug 2019 · 586
the truth
emgm Aug 2019
i became a stranger once i stopped living to please you.
i am for me.
Nov 2018 · 244
love yours
emgm Nov 2018
my garden of roses remains red, while yours are now dead. what a shame that you depended everything on me, so i let your garden be devoured by the weeds.
what is mine is mine, and whatever is yours is yours.
Oct 2018 · 156
im tired of the basics
emgm Oct 2018
i dont want to know the basics. im tired of asking how are you when i already know the answer. what if i told you... i want to know everything about you? i tell you with all sincerity.

i want to know why you think certain things and how you came to that conclusion. i want to know your favorite foods, maybe you like coffee or tea? i want to know what scares you and what keeps you going. maybe you dont like birds, cats, or dogs? i want to know why you chose your field, do you like your career or do you long for change? do you sleep with the fan on or off in summer? do you wear pajamas to sleep or in your underwear?

i dont want to know the basics. although i know it is important, but i want to go further. Beyond your favorite color, beyond your favorite station, beyond the song you listen to the most. tell me your story. what makes you cry at 3 in the morning? what makes you laugh so hard you can't breathe? what do you do when you feel alone? have you felt loneliness? tell me about your first heartbreak or the first time you had ***. was it planned or did it just happen? tell me when you first fell in love. did it make you want to start a family? how many children? tell me their names. tell me about your dream wedding, and who will be the groomsmen. or if you have ever gotten drunk? how did it make you feel? what if we get drunk together?

i dont want to know the basics. i want your background, i want your story, your emotions, your tears, laughter, caresses, giggles.

i dont want to know the basics, i want to know everything. i want to know you.
est. 2018, revised 2023
Apr 2018 · 396
a known pain
emgm Apr 2018
with every breath i breathe,
my lungs collaspe.
such a pain that i cannot bare,
is it supposed to hurt this bad?
my fear finally became a reality,
one that i did try to avoid.
to see her taking my place in your arms,
destroying the one place i called home.
save me, please, i am starting to beg,
save me please, instead.
whenever i fall asleep,
there you are in my dreams.
and i never want to wake up when i see you there.
our departure came quite soon,
and i was never done loving you.
why did you stop loving me?

every call went to voicemail,
every text was left on read,
and still, so many words left unsaid.
****.
Feb 2018 · 134
rain
emgm Feb 2018
and i remember it was raining, and my hair had gotten wet, a combination i disliked at very best, but i would do it all over if it meant i get to dance with you again.
san jose. ca.
Oct 2017 · 136
dream
emgm Oct 2017
dreams

“May we speak?” He says to me, and without thinking I agreed.
As we are walking, I sensed a presence amongst us.
“We are being followed..” I say.
“I’m aware, but let’s keep going anyways.”
We make our way to a park bench, and commence our chat.
Words were being exchanged, laughing back to back.
“May you excuse us?” He politely asks, and the ladies behind us part way.
Words were being held back, it was time to get serious.
Tears were shedding, and the “I’m sorry”s we’re being said.
I lay my head on his shoulder, just as I used to before.
It felt so right.
It felt so warm.
I felt at home.
I had to ask, because I needed to know.
I take a deep breath in and say, “Do you and her share a home?”
He sighs and his head starts looking down, and from his lips, a frown.
As he’s holding me, his arms start to tighten.
He hasn’t answered me, so my mind starts to think, “Has she gone away? Has he come back to me?” —

— but of course, it was nothing but a dream, as the sun awakens and I find nothing but empty sheets. She never left, she has always been here, living in the arms where I long to be.
This is a pain I have known for a while, for my heart to excuse it, even just for a night, was undeniably liberating that I cant wait to go back to sleep;

but when I do, please, do not reappear in my dreams.
sometimes i wish this wasn’t my reality. im forever missing you.
Sep 2017 · 169
im sleepy
emgm Sep 2017
Only in my dreams do you continue to exist, and only there am I at peace; full of bliss.
Sep 2017 · 122
regret
emgm Sep 2017
If nothing ever brings you back, I will understand... but the loss of me is something you will always regret.
Sep 2017 · 914
you.
emgm Sep 2017
there was a point in my life where i had convinced myself that i could not live if i did not have you. you made sure of that, too. so addicted to you, my ecstasy, that all i ever desired was you. you were my heart, my soul, and my world... or were you? yes, there was a moment where my life revolved around yours, but the day you left me, my life became mine, and i began to live.
Sep 2017 · 217
your majesty
emgm Sep 2017
He tells the world that she reigned from a higher power, so amazing that no soul was worthy of her.
"You have a heart of gold," he tells her, "and I consider myself worthy."
Tilting her head, she responds, "Then prove it."
Maybe it was an offense, or maybe it was a challenge, but when his time came to prove his worth, he had already resigned.
"forever and always" right?
Sep 2017 · 154
too far
emgm Sep 2017
Sad to say, but to this day, I am glad and relieved that you went your separate way. Doing what you did was a sin upon your fate, for making someone the foundation of your happiness was a lethal, yet grave mistake.
Don't let a toxic relationship get in the way of who you are.
Sep 2017 · 186
the end
emgm Sep 2017
I really don’t get it, and I’m trying to understand. I need an explanation, before this gets out of hand. Should I drop it? Just let it, let you, go? Please tell me, I need to know.
She’s just like me and I’m just like her.. is there something I’m missing, something I failed to see? I’m just like her and she’s just like me..
Is there anyway I can possibly explain this to myself? The only difference I see is that she is  only a few years younger than me, but when two people are connected by soul and mind, isn’t age as irrelevant as yours and mine? Too much time invested, just to throw it all away. Everything I did, all that I would do, did not stop you from thinking anew. You did not notice my absence, my silence was not questioned, you when on day by day while I stayed abandoned. I see you are still doing everything we planned, only I am not there. Did she give you something I didn’t, something I wouldn’t, something I couldn’t do? I was convinced that every second we spent, kissed something of your soul. So many questions asked, yet, not one of them answered. How can a couple of months mean more than several years?
I really don’t get it, and I probably never will, when I’m just like her, and she’s just like me...

— The End —