Got alot ta think about,
19 dealin wit the **** grown folks stressin bout
I got the only girl whos right for me, I'ma stay davought
Baby on the way ima be a father an im proud
But growin up without parents got me scared now
How, do I raise a baby when my role models taught me the hustle
I dont need help to make it I was born with the brains of a genius
Product of a cupple horney teenagers
Questions in my head if I let em see my child

Smoke white rocks, at midnight on new year's, Don't  sleep for 3 days, and then say I been awake since last year an watch conservatives run in fear. Hahahaha i love it when they scared. 2017

In'a basement, waken up in'a a dream....
Lookin round seein every thing seein what I'm gonna take an what I'm I'm gonna leave
Melt down and breath, roll aroun blow smoke,N- fall asleep....
Havein a bad dream that I'm all alone smokin tweak
Playin pool wit out an 8 ball for about a week , 250 Cash goes fast when you trickin a tweak, bag in a bag in a bag all ******* and And taped  up neat, what's inside?, you don't wanna know mo-*****, it ain't powder and it ain't green,
Bag of glass an a snow white dream for a sleepless week,

Yea, .......
Walkin in the dark, black suit and stompin boots ,
Breakin in jackin cars, strip-em and sell em for parts
Take what I make and pay for a place to stay
Take and buy a burger wit the change I make
Rob a food chain and use the cash to buy a pack
Go back to the homies on G. Street and pack
Take my **** to my new pad for a week and I'll be back

Hmmmm.....
                         Yea,
                               Sit back....
      When the bowl's fat,and smokin mean then  come chill with me so I can smoke Youre **** And save mine for when I need to sleep and can't quite achieve without smokein trees,,,?

A simple breeze brings me  unease,  keeps me up  till  I find and fix it,  load the **** and ****** hit it  lay down and hope that little bit did it

Reach for raindrops when the sky is blue.
So that when rain comes you've already said hello and you can stand aside and allow it fall unto what needs to grow.

Simple as it confuses most as does the simple act of introducing yourself to passing strangers.

Fearless interactions and excepting simple verbal transactions  with thankfull compassion is powerful  

A hand shake a bow or verbal transaction of a greeting, along with a relinquishing of titles and wishings of happy travels

For no reason other than to make strangers, named beings that in that one moment we know who were seeing.

A lessoning of fear and a knowledge of what was before speculation and uncertainty

Has now become an understanding and an exchangeing of knowledge to lead to an acceptance and an equality without judgment or an  irrational miss understanding  of other people's actions

Introduce yourself to someone you fear and share with them  simple truths of your person  

Don't judge them for what they believe or what they look to achieve, accept and learn from them what you didn't know before and wouldn't know if you didn't allow them to speak

Around the world if we could all introduce ourselves and have respect in what chose to speak .... wars would be pointless knowledge would come from the mouths of those we meet and our neighbors would be our friends and teachers  in every subject.

Word of mouth would hold power and languages would compound into 1 tung spoken by people to pass knowledge without barriers of who could understand them

Unity would be true and currency would burn and Melt at the new exchange of ideas, stories and facts,

Our hands would help others and in return thier hands would do the same.

People would have a place to live, let live, build and learn  every possibility of what they can belive in and practice.

Spread your name without reason and knowledge without being asked or needed.

Maby one day peace will grip earth and we can all teach learn and help one another without barriers and do so happily just to convers and learn new things, pointless thing but knowledge of every thing from every perspective and every human being

I'm a stone, from my head to my toes, from my clothes to my skin down to my bones.

I don't feel much, but I  certainly don't show what I do feel and I dont talk enough to anyone.

But I must admit that im scared as ****!

In 2 days I'ma be 19, my only love is 8 weeks into carrying my first child, I work hard as hell in dangerous situations and I dont get paid half of what I'm owed so I'm always broke.

My father just got out of prison 3 days ago and 2morrow im going to introduce him to my girlfriend.

Im gonna break the news that even tho he was never there for me hes 8 month from being a grandfather.

And I just don't know how I feel about allowing a man that I barely know having a part in my child's heart, when he could leave at any moment hurting my first born.

I smoke dope and it's what helps me get things done an work hard.

It don't make me tweak but even tho I try not to spend money on what I smoke sometimes I lose motivation and sit around so 20 or 30 bucks now and then could make me broke and leave my family without.

Im excited to raise my own child, I'm sure I'll be good but I'm young and don't know the half of this **** that I say do.

What do I do when I have no money I've already given up on drugs cuz I have no funds and   my family's hungry.

Im so proud I never ask for hand outs, I chose to rob and steal for a meal rather than ask the people willing to help for a loan to get me and my girl along.

Im scared for the future,... I raised myself and taught myself how to live without **** but I based my life off of street principals

Steal to eat, sell what you don't need, rob cars to support problems that scream till I feed em with drugs and bad habits

I won't let my child need to do what I had to do cuz I'll be there to make ends meet, but what lesson can I teach.

I could tell you *******, do drugs, steal and cheat. I could form a real gangster out of a white boy that's never Felt the pain you get on the streets.

But I stopped listening to teachers in the second grade cuz I yearned for an easy life and quick pay.

Im smart but as far as school im brilliant in an evil way

How can I help with homework when I don't know anything about half of what schools are teaching

I can show them how to work hard and build things, all the odds and ends to creating a building.

But what if they don't want to labor for a living? What if numbers are what there dream job requires?

What I even if I'm around my child resents me cuz they learn and think differently?

Im so excited to have a child of my own that I've already started talking to my girls stomach.

Im sorry if I rambled on or didn't rhyme the whole time but I needed to babble for a while about how scared shitless I am for tomorrow, 8 months from  now an the next 18 years that follow.


I promise I'll do all I can to give my child every opportunity the world has. I know I won't teach my child about my past or allow them to follow. I just don't know how to stay hallow when tears keep fillin me up and leaking out creating a a puddle I wish was shallow.

So every night before I sleep or at least by midnight I will repeat to my self the words that follow.


You are a good man with respect and courtesy.
In hard times you make ends meet and support your family with hard work and honesty.
Respect, honor, and hard work are all things my child will learn by watching me.
Sarah can teach school and other things, and I can teach hard work and Practical things.
Fear is natural an good when contemplating raising a child!
Atleast that means I want for them, better things.
I will be a great father among other things and I won't always be correct in my teaching, but BUT I SWEAR BY MY HONOR THAT MY CHILD WILL KNOW ME, LOVE, HATE LEARN FROM AND GROW TO BE RESPECTABLE, HARD WORKING, DOWN TO EARTH INTELLIGENT, AND ABOVE ALL THINGS HAPPY AND UNDERSTANDING! All because I will raise him with LOVE give TIME to LISTEN and TEACH HIM WHEN EVER HE FINDS REASON TO QUESTION A REASON.
I WILL BE A GOOD FATHER AN I WILL NEVER LEAVE MY LOVE OR MY CHILD BY CHOICE. I WILL FIGHT TO MAKE  MY FAMILY A GOOD LIFE, UNTILL I DIE...!!!!!!!!!!!




Sorry I'm just so nervous to raise a child, I had no parents, my mom and dad abandoned me and my grandfather left me to raise myself while he locked himself in his room UNTILL he had a reason to yell at me for another way I've ruined his life.
So with no money as a small child and nobody to support me right, my habits formed to insure i survived
I feed and clothed myself before I was 5. I just can't stop worrying about how I will raise a child and if I'll even do it right.