The moonlight glows warm above us

as our shadows bury deep

my fingers grasp at cold earth and twigs

while your hair collects the leaves.

gravestones decorate an outdoor paradise

made of strangers and their grief

   and there you are, shining in the sun

the next day at the sea

our sin spots covered in electric blue

my bra, my scars, your attitude

and there you are in the middle of the water

as the waves find a path between your legs

wet from the spontaneity

that intoxicated us that day

I'm so sick of moving on
I'm so sick of figuring life out
and realizing I'm wrong
I don't want to die unfulfilled
I don't want to resort to taking  pills
I'm tired of wondering where all my love goes
From watching my friends die
From not letting go
And I wish I could participate
in the life that I'm living
Instead of laying in a bed of thoughts,
merely existing
I'm sick of rocking myself to sleep
Weak from the loneliness I feel most of the week
And I'm through with committing myself
just to move on
From falling in love so hard that I can't get back up
And kicking myself while I'm down
by indulging In sorrow
From saying " don't worry there's always tomorrow"
And I try to be optimistic
Patient and brave
I try to see each color in a sea of grey
Will I ever be happy?  
I ask myself often
Because all of these eggs in my basket are rotten
And the man that I love, well he must of forgotten
me
And I'm an idiot because I love too hard
And I love the wrong people
Im sick of building my own walls and
digging my own grave
Against a tower of pain locked
in an unsolvable maze
I'm through with this heavy head
Because I'm either deprived of sleep
Or forcing myself to pretend
that I need to go back to bed
I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself
my pride is truly my own hell
I've lit the matches, buried the hatchet
I'm ready to
melt

I can't feel bad for the man
who cripples himself
Tears his own heart out
Locks his body in a cage
And then blames other people
for making him that way.
It doesn't make sense to
coax you into recycling me
when you are going to
throw me out
either way

I wish I could tell everyone I love
how much I miss them
but I'm too immature
and I can't stand the rejection
of indifferent words.
So I just sit stationary, in my loneliness
staring out any windows
that will let me.

And I’m in a café alone
I look up
and in front of me
is a man sitting alone
facing the street
I can’t help but wonder:
Are you sad like me?
Would you like to put our empty together
and fill it with peace?

But I just stare rudely
while he calmly exists
it seems every person
is just how I imagine them to be
I tend towards half glass full,
luckily.

But I haven't a clue.

He exited the coffee shop
And will drift off of my mind
Until I read this again
And recall the time
I sat in a chair
Across from a man
I knew nothing about
But pretended I did