the dark block rising from its sleep
resisting to break
climbing up my feet
almost like molasses
its creeping up my leg
to my thigh
to my belly
to my shoulders
i fight back
pushing down on the block
but its way too powerful
like a rude neighbor
inviting itself in for some tea
trying to explain the bad timing
will do nothing
for the block proceeds to climb
to my neck
tickling my spine
it wraps its dark slimy fingers around my neck
slowly it does
tightening
i see hope vanishing
as the tightening increases
increases
choking
darkness
i fight back
but i am tired
go ahead dark slime of a block
take my last breathe
hope has failed me

blobs floating around everyday
******* the life out of
the laughs
the cries
the scares

the blobs being selfish
incapable of having these feeling
will take it away from what can

the people so helpless
they try to fight back
but our want for the feelings are wasted
we have plenty of them
with much more to spare

so let the blobs enjoy the
endless emptiness
and lets keep pretending
we have that too

i feel like a child
a spoiled child
who wants what they cant have
its childish
and naive
but its how i feel
your like a piece of candy
like caramel
or taffy
i want the caramel
but no one will give it to me
so i have my fit
and hopefully grow up
im like a child
and your the dreamy piece of candy

to walk into a room
filled with family love
care
and laughter
and know you are not wanted
the laughs cease
the care is directed away
and the love
well the love never comes
to walk out of a room
filled with hate for you
turned to love and laughs
now that you are gone
that is a feeling
no one should possess.

I want you back
but your gone for good
I want to turn back time
but my watch is broken
and what would be the difference
I want the time to stop for a moment
but I would be too busy to notice
I want the memories to become real
but memories are just that
things that you look back on and not return to
I want you with me
but how would we be now
I want to know what happened
but you’re not here to tell the tale
I want you back
but your simply gone
and all I have now are the memories
I want all this
but its all too selfish

we weren’t supposed to
but we loved
I wasn’t supposed to
but I let you down
you weren’t supposed to
but you pulled me back
you weren’t supposed to
but you had me
and then you left

You can smile
even let out a chuckle
or two
You can tell stories
and listen to others
with curiosity
You can be a pretty **** convincing
functional
human being
But are you really?
Are your sleep deprived
and constant scrambled thoughts
eluding you from ever feeling whole
feeling complete?
Or do you make those small chuckles and stories
bigger and grander
than what they actually are
only fooling yourself of being whole
being complete
Either way
you are stuck at night
thinking of how it would be
to never wake up from a restful sleep
to never push a chuckle
a smile
a story
to truly be at peace
to be rid of all scrambled thoughts
and memories
to sleep a restful sleep

the morning breeze is like
a whisper
a tickle
a comfort
from your love
the afternoon blaze is like
a passion
a lust
a need
to see your love
the evening bliss is like
a warmth
a comfort
a sense of relaxation
in the arms of the one you absolutely adore

waking up in a bed
too soaked in tears
too worn by the thrashing body swarmed by nightmares
too old to hold back its squeaks
too tired of the stupid nonsense that occurs on random nights
waking up in a room
that has been beaten
that has been stormed through
that has been yelled at
that has been deteriorating by the guests' own selfishness
waking up
is hard to do
when the first thing you see each ******* morning
is your own self destruction

Lightning
stricking down the worry
peircing through the pain
Thunder
booming the voices to silence
thrashing the care to the side
Freedom
is what i feel
when the sky is full of darkness
and the others are buried in the comfort of their home

don't scream
and tell me nothing is wrong
don't sigh
and say nothing is on your mind
don't yell
and speak nothing of which makes sense
don't lie
and say its the truth
don't hesitate
and tell me everythings okay
just speak to me

wet cheeks
drowned eyes
hopeless breathing
pale skin
trembling hands
feverish temperature
sleepy body

all of this mess
over a love
that will forever be lost

go look in that mirror
that you hate for no reason
go gaze at that face
that exudes beauty
but sees dirt
that smiles
but tears stream down the face
go see in that mirror
the reason i wake up in the morning
go look
and please see
what beauty i have the luck to gaze upon
i hope you see
what i see
which is pureness
loveliness
gracefulness
purpose
go look in that mirror
that you now should love

minds scattered
sensing every new feeling
missing the obvious
going through the day unknowing
of the simple
and over complicating
everything
minds scatter
when overwhelmed
or when distracting itself
don't stay scattered
don't make life harder
do enjoy the simplicity
that scattered minds deprive you of

your eyes will bright up the dark path ahead
showing new adventures
proving self responsibility
your sound will purr behind the smooth rhythms of music
hearing new peace
listening to independence
your touch will be fast paced across the sky
feeling new excitement
sensing a weird turning point
your everything will be new to me
amazingly new to my life
surprisingly revealing more responsibility

one thing
deeper deeper

one thing on the mind
going deeper going deeper

one thing bugging your thoughts
deeper deeper

one thing constantly buzzing around unable to let go
going deeper going deeper

one thing grabbing your attention to fill your mind with thoughts you feel are unnecessary
deeper deeper

one thing
going deeper going deeper
until you've hit the end

the music starts
along with your heart
pumping
beating
faster
the sweat trickles down
a smile appears
satisfaction flowing through
adrenaline following close behind
i guess its that crazy heart
along with that crazy music

I love your lips
so smooth
and fragile

even when we talk
i can't help but to look
at those beautiful lips

I would kiss those lips
till i could no more
for those lips are amazing

I would caress those lips
till you were tickled
by the way i love you

for its not only the lips
that i truly love
since those lips have to belong
to someone that deserves them

stumped
nowhere to go
nowhere to turn
stumped
un-relaxed chains tightening
un-relaxed brain imploding
stumped
no place to understand
no place to be free
stumped
nothing coming
nothing gone
stumped
understand
that i am stumped

hello
you funny
pretty
poet
hello
you stylish
caring
poet
hello
you
will you be my poet?

the shame
the pure agonizing shame
of thought
of memories
of senseless emotions
the pain
the purely torturous pain
thrown into the dark
pale
vacancy of our puny minds
the horror
the pure yet soiled horror
that brings us together
that tears us apart
that makes us human
the end

When the memories come
i cant help but to smile
to laugh
to cry
to miss
to miss the moments of anger
of love
of fear
of desire
the desire of wanting you
wanting us

i want to let it go
but it pulls me in
i want to say *******
but i would feel so bad
i want to forget
but i want to remember every detail
i want to go
but i want to stay
i want to feel
but i want to be numb
i want to help
i want to heal
i want to be free
i want to love

spiraling
spinning
out of control
everything mute
everything blinded
colors swarming
like bees to their hives
head pounding
to the beat of an unheard drum
the colors turn black
the mutes turn loud
the blinded turn sightly
spiraling
spinning
out of control
head slowing down
body slowing down
only the color black
and no more sound

when the eyes show age
but actions speak youth

when the lips smile
but tears drop

when the hands feel warm
but secretly tremble

when the face proves bravery
but pounding unsteadily the heart skips

when the laughter is pushed
but pain is whats true

the farther you go away
the heavier i feel
the bricks on my back containing
my love
my anger
my feeling of great separation from you
I feel heavy with the weights of
missing you
needing you
the farther you go away
the more i want you
the more i miss you
the more i cry
you've gone too far
so i will always feel heavy
feel love
feel that i need you
and miss you
the weights will get heavier
as i get weaker
as i get older
as more time goes by pushing us farther away
the weights will be so heavy
so needy
so unloving

From a chicken nugget
to the moon
we are each others
From being crazy, off the wall weird
to calm and mellow
we are each others
From afar
to aclose
we are each others
From the moon
to a chicken nugget
we are happily each others

I want to be lost in my sheets.
To never go down stairs, to only hear the muffled noise of people, to not have to see the twisted love among each other.
I want to be lost in my sheets.
To only see the happy orange color, to close my eyes and know i’m protected, to not hurt as well as hurt others.
I want to be lost in my sheets
till the day i can’t control myself from closing my eyes and never have the possibility to gaze upon the happy orange color again.
I want to be lost in my sheets.

eyes strained
never looking away from screen
waiting for a response
that tiny little screen
giving me nothing
but impatience
the response takes its time
as my fingers start to tap
the screen still dark
as my eyes start to close
the screen still dark
as i wait for the response
nothing coming
i want
no
need to know
but the screen is still dark
as i drift to sleep
dreaming
of the response

you may kick
or hit
but i will always use my words
you may give me looks
or threatening notes
but i will always smile
you may tease
or physically punish
but i will always calm you down
you may do all of things
or more
but i will stay happy
until i get home

yep
you're on my mind
i think about you constantly
and you're not going anywhere
yep
you probably see it
and think im dumb
or inconsiderate
nope
i just think about you
and worry
and most of all
i miss you
please dont think im crazy
or rude
i just think about you
and will keep thinking about you

it has happened
if you enjoyed the moment
don't make anything more of it
remember the stirred feelings
of excitement
of fear
of lust
if you felt at that moment
that everything is okay
then it was
and don't regret that feeling

can you shut up for just a second
and listen
i want the very best for you
and well
im not it
your hurting everyday
as i try to help
but end up scraping at the fresh scabs
im sorry
oh how im sorry that i hurt you
im a giant beast
with little balance
or stability
and you
well your a fragile glass rose
I want you to shine your best
but keep scraping you
against my callused hands
please go shine
my fragile flower
and don't look back
on this giant beast

the morning dew
taking away the night terrors
the afternoon blaze
taking away the morning grog
the evening muse
taking away the afternoon stress
the nighttime terrors
taking away the days sanity

I planted a flower for you
you took care of it
watered it
nourished it
talked to it

I planted a flower for you
but then you got mad
and you stomped on it
drowned it
didn't love it

The flower kept growing
while the neglect was doing the same
but it fought
and would keep fighting
till it was completely grown

you forgot about that flower
so i took care of it
nourished it
watered it

you came back one day
and saw the magnificent flower
bloomed to its fullest
and stronger then ever

the flower didn't need you
and so don't I

we are strong
we are together
we are weak
we are apart
we learn
from each other
our wisdom
our lessons
our memories
shared for teaching
we are together
we are strong

with the world spinning
faster and faster
its hard to slow down
to take a breathe
to live life
with the world spinning
slower and slower
its hard to speed up
to get excited
to live life

when the young night falls
and the dreamers dream
and the lovers love
there the others lie
painfully unmasking themselves
and crying until they reach a non restful sleep

denying
what a beautiful distraction
a nice escape
a magical far away place
depression
what a dark place to be
a moody cloud
a unlikable state of mind
anger
what fury may come
a red hot steam
a uncooling rage
acceptance
what a sigh of relief
a loving way to be
a wonderful end

the patterns
the poems
all the same
nothing new
and all cliche
but in this repeated world of mine
i feel comfort
and ease
even with my drooped sad eyes
so the continued basics
of the mild poems
will be written
behind the same computer
and by the same eyes

troubles all around
clumping about
never leaving
people suffering
from their troubles
but time will give them freedom
distance
clarity

troubles all around
terrorizing
the not so innocent people
suffering
from their mistakes
but time will let them go
let them learn
and be free

troubles all around
for everyone
we all get by
with the time given to us
to enjoy the freedom
the relinquishment
of troubles

the scorched
the torn
the shattered
the tossed
the scarred
the bleeding
the conflicting
the ******* covered ******* with ******* filling
the living
the dying
the end

the smile
the charm
the love
the care
no one can take it away
the hate
the anger
the loathe
the rage
only you can push it aside
the sadness
the loneliness
the hurt
the sorrow
we all feel it at some time
the feelings
the lessons
the light
the dark
everyone goes through their ****

chained down
nowhere to go
the dust gathering on my shoulders
while the skin dries more and more
the tears have been long gone
the darkness surrounds with its laugh
causing the worn down doll of my soul to jump
placed so high on the shelf of endings
that there is no point of fetching a ladder
the dust stirred with the wisp of a young love
the soul struggles to get out of it's bearing chains
the beautiful love fights off the darkness
the chains drop
the soul is free
the magnificent love is hand in hand with the soul
but wait
this story must not win right now
the love is put in the malicious grasp of darkness
scared
the love fights
but with one smack
the love falls
souls moan
cry
scream
darkness laughs
the original soul falls down to its knees
kisses the unbearably cute love
and as all the other souls break free of their chains to revolt
the original soul falls down to a deep sleep
of which to never return

the more im reminded
the more i go mad
the more im poked at
the more annoyed i get
the more im shown
the more i feel bad
the more im told
the more i want to leave
you keep reminding
you keep angering me
you keep wanting to poke
you keep reminding
reminding
reminding
you get satisfaction
for yourself
unaware of what your doing
to me
stop reminding
poking
telling
stop

the time
the never ending time
the fights
the never ending fights
the memories
the never ending memories
the love
the never ending share of love
the hate
the new and never ending hate
the passion
the never ending yet wonderful passion
the end
the upcoming end
of all things we hold dear

the link between us
was made so young
it grew so quickly
and bulked so strong
the link between us
was made so long
it grew us so near
and tied the knot so tight
the link between us
was rusting so fast
it stretched so far
and did not break so easily
the link between us
was broken to so many peices
it shattered so far apart
and was left to be so alone

the vast emptiness of the unknown
brings strange comfort
and frustration to me
a weird combination, i know
comfort
from knowing there's more to come
not only what is left around now
frustration
from wanting to know what lies there
and knowing that patience is needed

there's too many of you
little troubles
mishaps
pains
there's just too many
of you bouncing around
hurting a vast majority
of the ones i care for
i will fight you
little troubles
i will **** you
little troubles
stop hurting the ones i love
little troubles
there's too many of you
and you must be stopped
your end is near
little troubles
do your worst